Volume 1: In the Blood Ep. 9 - Tantalus
TRANSCRIPT - In the Blood Ep. 9 - Tantalus
Tau
A product of the Whisperforge.
[SFX: Whisperforge Chime.] Sound and story brought to life.
Tau
You're listening to a parody that is not affiliated with or endorsed by Supergiant Games in any way. We're just big old nerds making improv fanfiction. ROGUE RUNNERS is rated R for pretty much everything you can find in Greek mythology, violence, assault, self harm, offensive language, insensitive humor and intense themes. We encourage everyone to check out our show notes and transcripts on our website at whisperforge.org. Are you ready to run? Then welcome to Volume 1: In the Blood.
[SFX: Intro music. The music fades.]
Giancarlo
"Zagreus just fucking died y'all."
Michael
"Oh my goodness my gracious."
Tau
Another thing I will tell you about this fountain room is, whatever your arcana or religion modifier is, you restore...
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
Five plus your arcana or religion modifier levels worth of spell slots back.
Giancarlo
Yo, I just got 11 spell slots back, I didn't even use any.
Tau
As you rest, you also reach level six.
[SFX: An ethereal note rings out.]
Giancarlo
Woohoo!
Michael
Eyyyy.
Tau
Is everybody bathing in the fountain again?
Giancarlo
Yes, of course.
Amanda
No. Annie's gonna drink from the one that they don't bathe in.
[SFX: Gentle splashing sounds.]
Giancarlo
Like he's disrobing and dipping into the pool as he's shouting "Zagreus just died, y'all. What the hell is up with that?"
Amanda
"I mean, it's not the first time."
Giancarlo
"Yeah, but like he did it. He's done. Why is he dying again now?"
Amanda
"I don't know. I couldn't tell you."
Giancarlo
"Well...?"
Amanda
"I didn't get to talk to him."
Giancarlo
"Are you all not shocked by that?"
Tau
(Also surprised) Everybody seems very nonchalant about that besides Rolf.
Giancarlo
"I'm not even from here. Why do I care more about your gods than you do?"
Michael
"I mean, Zagreus died, like hundreds of times before."
Nicholas
"That boy is no god."
Amanda
"Hey, hey. Maybe not a god? Well, I think, maybe not a god. But he's like... no, he is a god, isn't he? Yeah, he's a god, technically. Because Persephone is a god and Hades is a god. So he's a god. He's not a demigod. (pause) No one's answering."
Michael
"I suppose I'm not freaking out about the whole Zagreus dying thing is because I mean, the man has died so many times doing the whole thing. So I don't understand what the big deal is."
Giancarlo
"But why is he doing this at all? This isn't his job anymore. That's why he hired us."
Michael
"He might be hiring us but sometimes a supervisor likes to get their hands dirty, Rolf."
Tau
(laughing) He's doing Undercover Boss.
Amanda
"That's kind of nice if you really think about it. It's really kind of him to like kind of come back to our level you know."
Giancarlo
"But why is he dying in Tartarus? He's made it out of here, I would expect at least Elysium.
Michael
"Maybe he recently decided to increase the Tartarus security and he's testing that, I don't know."
Giancarlo
"I mean, we nearly finished it. We made it to Meg and as much as I love you all, we're low level bitches. So something's not right here. And you had Meg and Than talking about you know, things are falling apart here. (exasperated) What is going on? (calmer) Bigger deal than you think it is, I think."
Amanda
"I just don't want to worry about it now because I know I'm gonna have to worry about it later. So instead of worrying about it twice, I'll just worry about it, you know, once."
Michael
Instead of bathing this time Arete will approach one of the fountains cup his hands and then drink as if at like a riverside or something. Very, very rustic. I went up to 30 max HP, and then I increased my acrobatics modifier by gaining expertise, and then I also gained proficiency in intimidation.
Giancarlo
As Rolf freaks out about Zagreus and dips into the waters, he levels up to level six, his maximum HP increases to 38. He gets a number of new features. He takes melts minute meteors as a third level spell. And then from the cthonic soul class, he gets incandescence. Starting at six level you have a bonus to all spell attack rolls you make against any creature with one or more of your blood crystals lodged within them equal to plus three, which is my charisma modifier, and syrian return. At sixth level, as an action, you may recall one expended blood crystal back to your possession, it freely flies back to you if it is hovering in a free space. If it is lodged in a target, it deals fire damage equal to half your sorcerer level rounded down, so three, as it dislodges before returning to your possession. You regained use of cthonic casting equal to the number of blood crystals which returned to you, as you may then expend them again. So that's pretty dope. He feels great.
Tau
Hell yeah.
Nicholas
Alexander's health would go up to 47. All he gets his aura of protection. While you are conscious, you grant all friendly creatures, including you, within 10 feet a plus four bonus to all saving throws. Plus four is my spell modifier.
Tau
He only gets the best aura in the game.
Nicholas
Yes.
Amanda
Annie's max HP goes to 55. She gains counter charm, which is as an action you can perform counter charm until the end of your next turn. During that time you and any friendly creature within 30 feet that can hear you gain advantage on saving throws against being frightened or charmed. And she also gains heroic camaraderie. When you're within 30 feet of a creature that you can see it has to make a saving throw. I can expend a reaction for that creature to use my corresponding saving throw score modifier instead of its own. And she also got another third level spell, she got stinking cloud.
Tau
Nice. So yeah, heroic camaraderie is a college of mysteries feature and it's very powerful. So just to give you a quick rundown of how it works, if you see somebody needing to make a saving throw their bad at, you can swap it with your own, essentially.
Michael
Ooo.
Tau
And what's even better or not even better, but also extremely useful. If you see two people that are at least within range of you, you can actually get them to swap their saving throws with each other for that save if that will save their life essentially.
Amanda
That's really cool.
Tau
Okay, as you all level up and finish your rest, you see a red spearpoint appear in a globe in the center of the room.
[SFX: Shink.]
Michael
"Oh, that's new and unfamiliar. Oh, wow. Seems like a weapon of Ares perhaps. (laughs)"
Giancarlo
"I guess our warlord over here, Alexander. You want to do the honors?"
Nicholas
"Certainly." And he'll walk over and put his hand on it.
Tau
Alright, as you do,
[SFX: A glinting ding.]
Tau
the air becomes thick with the smell of blood.
[SFX: Warlike drums.]
Tau
You hear distant drum beats and armies marching as a singular silhouette marches towards you dignified. You hear voice ring out in your heads. (deep, commanding voice) "Hail sinners, when a commander speaks, his subordinates do well to listen as they make their escape under the watchful eyes of the God of War. Whatever your choice has an instrument of killing, yes, even that instrument of yours there little girl, know that my boon will sharpen it beyond mortal means." And you feel that you have the option to pick some boons. So you have the option of a power boon ,or survivability boon, or a utility boon.
Nicholas
"Something tells me accepting power from Ares would be most beneficial."
Michael
"That's what I was thinking."
Tau
Roll a flat d20. This is going to determine the rarity of your boon.
Nicholas
18.
Tau
Whew. Okay, you were getting an epic level boon with an 18. So that's gonna be a very powerful power, survivability, or utility boon, your choice.
Nicholas
"Ares, we would graciously accept a power boon from thee."
Tau
So what you know about the Ares power boon is that your attacks spell certain doom for your enemies. So anytime you deal damage, you deal three additional dice of damage.
Michael
Whooo.
Nicholas
Haaaallelujah.
Amanda
I love doom!
Giancarlo
Damage no matter what kind? Like, including spells?
Tau
Including spells.
Giancarlo
(gasps)
Tau
This is also affected by crits. So if you crit, you do six extra dice of damage.
Giancarlo
"You better thank that boy."
Nicholas
I have 10 days worth of rations, Alexander would like to take one day's worth of rations and sacrifice it to a torch in the room for Ares.
[SFX: Boom.]
Tau
You do that, you see that singular silouette turn away from you draw its blade
[SFX: Scrape of metal. Running footsteps.]
Tau
and then run off into the fog of war as it dissipates from you and the sounds of armies marching fades away.
Nicholas
"It is a good day to die once again."
Giancarlo
"It's a good day to frickin live buddy, we just became killing machines!"
Nicholas
"I mean that we've died before."
Tau
That's right.
Michael
Yeah.
Nicholas
And again.
Tau
You also see a gate. The gate shows darkness with a little skull icon underneath it.
Nicholas
"A formidable foe is ahead."
Giancarlo
"Yes."
Michael
"Well, with our rest and our boon, I think that we will match the challenge that lies before us, team, who's with me?" and Arete like does like a fist into the air.
Giancarlo
Rolf spin kicks it. Wuchchch!
[SFX: Thump.]
Nicholas
He spin kicks his fist.
Giancarlo
He feels very powerful after this boon.
Nicholas
This old ass dude (laughs) just all of a sudden just became super spry.
Tau
Man.
Giancarlo
He spin kicks it and then and then his hip like pops out of place and he goes.
[SFX: Crunch.]
Giancarlo
"Oh, sorry, I got carried away, Ares inspired me."
Amanda
Sure.
Nicholas
There's all of a sudden a wind blowing Alexander's cape and hair and he says--
Amanda
You have a cape?
Tau
Yeah he does, he's Alexander.
Amanda
I just, we never really spoke about like wht everyone's wearing that's so, that's cool.
Giancarlo
"Wait 'til you hear about my mankini."
Players
(laughs)
Tau
It's like one of those lime green mankinis.
Nicholas
"Megara has a pleasant surprise in store for her."
Giancarlo
"Are you referring to yourself or the mankini?"
Tau & Players
(laughs)
Nicholas
"Yes."
Michael
"Shall we?"
Nicholas
"Yeah." Alexander unsheathes his sword and goes through the portal.
Michael
Did, was the portal open or was the door still...?
Tau
None of you did the thing on the door but.
Nicholas
Oh, and he walks right through the door and bumps his forehead.
Michael
(laughs) Does bumping into the door open it that'd be funny.
Tau
Bumping into doesn't open it but you touch the darkness globe, right. It slides up.
[SFX: Stone and metal scrape.]
Tau
Yeah, the portal opens.
Michael
If Alexander did not, Arete certainly did.
Tau
Alright, yes, there's that portal. Everybody went in?
Amanda
I'm going in.
Giancarlo
Yeah, I go in.
Michael
I enter.
Nicholas
Yes.
Tau
Okay, you all go into the portal and here is what happens next. You find yourself in the first room you've seen with rounded walls.
Giancarlo
Ohh.
Tau
The room is very small. It seems to fit maybe about 12 of you at most if there were that many of you. It is egg shaped. The room is covered in spider webs everywhere.
Giancarlo
(worried) Ohh.
Tau
Along the long curving walls, you see tapestries covered in webs.
Michael
"I hate spiders.
Giancarlo
"Is this Ariadne?" The one that made the yarn from the chariot show?"
Michael
"Ariadne is a, she's a girl, not a spider."
Giancarlo
"Oh."
Michael
"But nice try Rolf. I appreciate you trying to learn the culture."
Amanda
"Didn't she get turned into a spider?"
Giancarlo
"I went to one of your your auditoriums outdoors and all of that and there was this man spider and he was singing and then Ariadne came down and she was dressed like a spider. There was lots of swinging around and all those people got injured. It was terrible but very informative."
Tau
Also on the far corner of the room right near the gate, you see a loom.
Nicholas
"Arachna? Arachnae? Arachnus?"
Amanda
"It's Ariadne. Pretty sure."
Amanda
I'm gonna walk towards the loom.
Tau
Alright, you walk towards the loom. It's there. It seems to be in the middle of weaving another tapestry to add to the thick tapestries on the walls.
Giancarlo
Can I investigate the tapestries to see what they're depicting?
Tau
Yes. When you look at the tapestries, they seem to be depicting the naughty exploits of the god Zeus.
Giancarlo
"Oh, Annie, cover your eyes. We found Playgod magazine. Playgod tapestry."
Amanda
(laugh. "Playgod? I guess it is Arachne. Yeah, I'm getting confused. I'm dizzy guys, I don't know."
Michael
"You can always lean on me if you're feeling unstable, dear."
Giancarlo
"Ariadne, I-- nobody don't mess with the loom. Do not mess with the loom, I wouldn't want to ruin the wonderful artistry that's going on here. Hello, whoever owns this chamber, I would love to have a chat with you. Perhaps make you a drink, anything you'd like." I'm going to investigate the rest of the room.
Tau
Roll a... investigation check.
Giancarlo
That's a ten.
Michael
Arete's was a six.
Nicholas
There I go.
Amanda
You know what, Annie is gonna investigate too. You know, why not? Right?
Nicholas
(singing) Critical fail.
Amanda
16 for Annie.
Tau
So everybody as you're looking around this very small egg shaped room, suddenly you hear a thread snap
[SFX: TWANG.]
Tau
on the loom. And furthermore Arete, Rolf, and Alexander, you all in separate parts of the room, feel this crunch under your feet.
[SFX: Wet crunch.]
Tau
And you realize that you stepped on these sacks of spider eggs.
Giancarlo
(Gasps) No, no, no, no, no.
[SFX: Energetic musice fades in.]
Tau
Spiders are emerging from those eggs very rapidly and from high above you. You hear a voice going [HISSES] and a massive monstrosity drops from the ceiling on a large thick strand of silk. It has the body of a spider, like it has the body of a massive spider, like I'm talking this body is like twice the size of any human. But kind of like a centaur like it has like that body that it also has like a human body. From the front of it. You see a body of a human woman emerging from it but this woman has eight eyes on her face
Giancarlo
"Bono has never told me a lie."
Tau
(hissing) "Oh, I don't get that reference." Roll initiative.
Giancarlo
"I that's probably for the best." Ten.
Michael
Arete rolls a five and shits himself.
[SFX: Wet flatulence.]
Amanda
Annie rolled an eight.
Nicholas
Alex rolled a one.
Amanda
Oh my god.
Tau
Marvelous.
Michael
(softly) Spider. I hate hate spiders. Oh my god.
Nicholas
One actually crawled on me today.
Amanda
(gasps)
Tau
This spider woman is up first. (hissing with vehemence) "You stepped on my children! Ahh!!" She is going to spit this corrosive web at a bunch of you. She can hit Arete, Annie, and Alexander with this. You all must make a dexterity saving throw.
Michael
Come on, come on.
Amanda
Okay.
Michael
Son of a!
Nicholas
Is everyone within 10 feet of me?
Tau
You can be near either Annie or Arete.
Nicholas
Which saving throw is it? Dexterity?
Tau
Mhmm.
Nicholas
Who has the worst dexterity?
Amanda
I rolled an 18.
Nicholas
Alright, I'll go to Arete.
Amanda
No, you can be the--
Nicholas
I like him more anyway.
Giancarlo
(laughs)
Michael
Arete rolled a 12 by the way.
Nicholas
So add four to that.
Michael
So 16.
Amanda
18 for Annie.
Nicholas
And 17 for Alexander.
Tau
Okay so you will save so you only take half damage. So this damage is already halved, you all take 10 acid damage.
Amanda
Holy shit.
Tau
Furthermore, some spiders are emerging again from under your feet right all of the spiders are going to move towards Rolf. So here's one thing they do, you see the spiders leap in the air
[SFX: Air whips.]
Tau
and then they vanish
Giancarlo
(yelps)
Tau
and then they immediately appear on top of you like on your back and in your hair.
Giancarlo
No! yeah no no no no no this is not good for my head health.
Tau
They are going to attempt to bite you.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
19, does that hit?
Giancarlo
Well my armor class is 11, so yes.
Tau
Okay, first you take 10 poison damage.
Giancarlo
"Ow!"
Tau
The next one is going to attempt to restrain you make a strength saving throw.
Giancarlo
That's a 12.
Tau
You are restrained so what restraint means is a restraint creatures speed becomes zero. And it can't benefit from any bonus to its speed. Attack rolls against the creature have advantage and the creature's attackers have disadvantage. Furthermore, the creature has disadvantage on dexterity saving throws.
Giancarlo
"Well that's not fucking cool, guys. So Oh, sorry. Sorry. That's not freaking cool. Sorry, Annie."
Amanda
"It's okay."
Tau
Rolf, it is your turn. Annie, you are on deck.
Giancarlo
Well, how far is the big spider lady from me?
Tau
Not even 10 feet.
Giancarlo
Okay, then I'm going to cast thunder wave on you because I did not like what you just did to me. AND I'm going to expend a blood crystal on that, because that's not very nice. And that's a four. So you have to roll a constitution saving throw and beat an 18.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
She gets a dirty 20, the spiders only get a four.
Giancarlo
Okay, so they fail, and they take to do a lot of damage, but I'm going to call on Ares and I'm going to say "Yo homeboy, help me smite these disrespectful insects!"
[SFX: Music swells and booms.]
Giancarlo
And we see that is five plus three, seven, ten? So that's 10, 18, five plus 18, they take 23 damage.
[SFX: Boom of thunder.]
Tau
The spiders are pushed off of you, both spiders look like they're in very bad shape. And then the spider queen in the middle takes 11 damage, right?
Giancarlo
Yeah, cuz half of 23 would round down to 11.
Tau
Okay, do you do anything else on your turn?
Giancarlo
Is there anything I can do to try and get rid of this?
Tau
It would take your action to try to make a strength check to break out of it.
Giancarlo
I see. "That's it! Please don't let me die here like this."
Amanda
Annie would like to cast blindness deafness on Arachne. So she's gonna pull out her viol and she's gonna play like a really shrill noise towards Arachne and Arachne has to make a constitution saving.
[SFX: Awful scrape of the viol.]
Tau
Okay.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
She only gets a five.
Amanda
Yes!!!
Tau
So are you blinding or deafening her?
Amanda
Ah.
Nicholas
She got eight eyes. So.
Amanda
Yeah, we're gonna blind. (laughs) We're gonna blind her.
Tau
You see, the sclera of these eight eyes become completely white and like the pupils of the iris just like shrink. It she goes (HISSES) . Oh, that really hurts my voice. But she does that and she is blinded. So how does this work? Does she just save at the end of every turn?
Amanda
Yes. So at the end of each turn, she has to make another constitution saving throw. And once she succeeds the spell will end.
Tau
Word. Okay, so she's blind for now. Do you do anything else on your turn?
Amanda
I will run over to Rolf.
Giancarlo
"Hi, Annie."
Amanda
"Hi, Rolf."
Michael
Because Arachne is blinded, Arete is going to do some sneak attack damage using La Voix. So Arete, very casually strolls towards Arachne as he unsheaths La Voix, he kind of starts to whistle a little bit
[SFX: Whistling.]
Michael
Just like he's so gleeful to deal this attack towards her and he goes head rolls. Alright, so it's a 14 does that hit?
Tau
It does hit.
Michael
Ah, glorious. As he goes to thrust his sword into her abdomen, he calls out "Ares, aid me in my endeavors!" as he thrusts the sword so that will be 20 damage.
[SFX: The sword whips out and wetly hits.]
Tau
And as you do this, you see the damage that La Voix does and then you see this like faint dark red marker of doom above her and then like a brief moment later that also smashes down on her and she realizes that an Ares is like mark of doom that does additional damage. So you do 20 damage to Arachne. She looks bad. Does anything else happen on your turn?
Michael
He's gonna attempt to hide behind the loom as a bonus action.
Tau
Okay, roll stealth.
Michael
A 22.
Tau
So you feel like you're pretty hidden against the loom.
Michael
And that concludes Arete's turn.
Nicholas
I guess Alexander is going to take this time to just pray to Ares because he rolled a one and a 10.
Tau
Okay so neither of those hit. Baddies are up. Here is an interesting thing about Arachne. Anybody who is touching her webs, such as people along the wall, she gains a sense called tremor sense. And the way tremor sense works is a monster with tremor sense can detect and pinpoint the origin of vibrations within a specific radius provided the monster and the source of the vibrations are in contact with the same ground or substance in this case, the webbing. Tremors sense can't be used to detect flying or incorporeal creatures, many burrowing creatures, such as ankhegs have this special sense, as does Arachne. So she as soon as you touch the web just "Got you now (hisses)" shoots another spray of acid at you. This is in range of both Rolf and Arete, so make dexterity saving throws. You make yours as a disadvantage because you're restrained, Rolf.
Amanda
Can I use heroic camaraderie here?
Tau
Sure.
Giancarlo
Please.
Amanda
Yeah.
Tau
So that means Rolf, you also can use Arete's dexterity saving throw.
Giancarlo
What's your bonus, Arete?
Michael
I think my bonus is a plus five. And my dexterity saving throw was a 24, by the way.
Tau
Okay.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Giancarlo
That's a 10.
Tau
So Arete, you take 10 acid damage.
Giancarlo
Okay, if I were to expend an inspiration die here, how does that work?
Tau
So it means that you would roll another die and you can just choose to use that result instead.
Giancarlo
So I'm going to actually expend my inspiration.
[SFX: DING.]
Tau
Okay.
Giancarlo
And I'm gonna roll again, and it's a 14 plus five. 19.
Tau
Excellent. So you also only take 10 acid damage instead of 20.
Michael
I would have been fucking done. "I feel very inspired!"
Tau
Annie, can you describe for me how you convince Rolf to use his dexterity How does your heroic camaraderie come into play?
Giancarlo
"It's over! It's over, let the webs take me I'm dead. I'm dying. I'm alive but I'm dead."
Amanda
Annie's gonna slap Rolf like "Get a hold of yourself, man. We're gonna get it we're gonna get out of here. You just it just--"
Giancarlo
"I can't get a hold of myself, my hands are restrained!"
Amanda
"Then use Arete's hand, use, use them, use them!"
Giancarlo
"Arete, touch me go! Um. No, wait."
Tau & Players
(laughs)
Michael
Arete was was there too quickly and he just had his hands all over you.
Tau
And that is how you dexteritied out of that. Arachne'sbrood is going to attempt to attack Arete, so they're gonna leap and as soon as they leap, they vanish in the air and they appear directly on you. They are gonna attempt to bite you. It gets a 19, does that hit?
Michael
It sure does. But I'm going to go ahead and finally be able to use my uncanny dodge and only take half the damage.
Tau
You only take seven points of damage but it's halved so three. The other spawn of Arachne is going to attempt to restrain you so make a strength saving throw.
Michael
That would be an 18.
Tau
Okay, it is not able to restrain you.
Michael
"You can't restrain me."
Giancarlo
So I guess Rolf is in this cocoon slowly being digested by the acid.
Tau
Mhmm.
Giancarlo
And he furrows his brow and very angrily stares at the blinded Archne and is going to conjure a cloud of daggers upon her.
[SFX: A flurry of metal shinks together.]
Giancarlo
Using his other die, his second blood crystal die. So that's a three for the blood crystal die. Any creature that enters that cloud which is being summoned right on her center mass, it will take damage when they enter it or anyone who starts their turn there will take damage as well. But that's going to be the entirety of my turn because I am restrained.
Amanda
Annie would like to cast thunderclap and so Arachne has to make a another constitution saving throw for that.
[SFX: Dice clatters]
Tau
She gets a 14.
Amanda
Oh yes! She needed to meet a 15 so that is 2d6 thunder damage. I would also like to apply the Ares boon. 24 damage.
Tau
All right, you unleashed this thunderclap and as you do, it just splits Arachne in half.
[SFX: A clap of thunder, a crunch and wet splatter.]
Tau
Like her body halves the spider half. She goes (HISSES) and she lies there quivering and gasping on the ground. The spiders leap off of Arete, they vanish midair and they leap to her, trying to like weave these webs around her wounds. But you see the blood of the Styx come up from the ground and envelop her and yank her into the abyss below.
[SFX: A wet splatter.]
Tau
"Rest in pieces, bitch."
Amanda
(laughs)
Giancarlo
"Anyone please help me out of these webs?"
Amanda
"Yeah, yeah, sorry." Annie's gonna go and try and cut Rolf out of the cocoon?
Giancarlo
"Careful don't walk through that cloud of daggers that I didn't get to use, it will cut you."
Amanda
"Oh, okay."
Tau
Okay. One tapestry falls away and now you have two gates that are revealed. One of the gates shows you gems and the other gate shows you nectar.
Giancarlo
"Nectar, baby!"
Amanda
"Nectarrr."
Giancarlo
"Everyone want to get some nectar, a little a little drinky drank?"
Tau
What are Alexander's thoughts on that?
Nicholas
He would like the nectar
Michael
"Very well, as it has written so it shall be." Arete will touch the nectar at the group's behest.
Tau
Furthermore, sorry, you also see 50 darkness appear on the ground
[SFX: Chime and clink.]
Tau
in the middle of the room where Arachne was.
Amanda
Nice.
Michael
On his way to the door, Arete will snatch it up to put it in the purse strings.
Tau
The nectar gate slides up revealing the black swirling mass.
[SFX: Metal and stone scrape.]
Giancarlo
"Real quick before we go, does anyone have like tons of healing ability they can spare?"
Amanda
"Mmm hmm. I don't know about tons, but I can, I can cast a, a cure wounds."
Giancarlo
"If you're going to need the spell slot, then save it until I'm like about to die. But yeah, um."
Amanda
"I probably won't really. I think like maybe I could use two spells here."
Giancarlo
"I mean, I I'd appreciate it."
Amanda
"Okay." Annie's gonna pull out the viol and she's gonna play one more soothing tune
[SFX: Strings play a soothing tune.]
Amanda
and you get to regain number of hit points equal to 1d8 plus four. That's a six.
Giancarlo
"Six. All right. Thank you so much, Anastasia."
Amanda
"You're welcome. I know there are no vapors, but."
Nicholas
Alexander will put a hand on Rolf's shoulder.
[SFX: Thump.]
Nicholas
Use lay on hands to give him 10 points of health.
Giancarlo
"Oh, my Thank you. Now I feel very healthy. Everyone else okay?"
Michael
"We're hanging in there."
Amanda
"Wait, I have a question."
Michael
"Yes, Annie."
Amanda
"So these jars," and Annie's going to pull out the jars that she got from Nemesis. "Have you guys been thinking about them at all? Or...?"
Michael
"Well, Annie to answer your question, I'm saving this jar for a very special individual that I have in mind."
Amanda
"Can-can I ask?"
Michael
"You've heard his name before. (dramatic) Nicholas Enklima. He was my brother until he wasn't."
Amanda
"Got it. Okay, that happened yeah, I kind of there's a lot has happened."
Michael
"Well, more a brother in arms and adoptive brother but all the same. I felt a deep connection with him and was betrayed."
Amanda
"I-I didn't I don't have any siblings. I didn't have any siblings. And you telling me this makes me really glad that I didn't. So I hope that helps."
Michael
"Yes. Being an only child must be such a blessing."
Amanda
"Well, maybe I we don't have to talk about this right now. We can go. He can go, he can go."
Michael
"On the contrary, Annie, chatting with you is always a pleasure." And he like he kind of puts his hand on Annie's shoulder and gives her a very soft smile.
Amanda
"Thanks Arete, actually means a lot coming from someone in the group. So thank, thank you."
Michael
"You're welcome."
Amanda
"Should we should we go or is anyone else want to..."
Michael
"Shall we?" And he offers his arm to Annie and they can walk arm in arm into the portal if she chooses.
Amanda
"I'd love to, Arete." and she puts her arm on Arete's.
Michael
And they walk through the portal.
Amanda
Heck yeah.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Giancarlo
Rolf wordlessly looks at Alexander and puts the arm up.
Nicholas
And like, like a Nazi?
Tau
Yeah, that's exactly what I was picturing.
Giancarlo
No, god, like, like Arete just did.
Amanda
Oh my God.
Nicholas
Like on my shoulder?
Giancarlo
I offer an arm for you to like, link in the way that Arete just did with Annie.
Nicholas
Alexander's shield hand will slap Rolf on the back
[SFX: Thump.]
Nicholas
and then Alexander will just walk into the polar-- portal.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Giancarlo
"All right." Then Rolf walks into the portal.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Michael
We really need to unpack Alexander's issues.
Nicholas
It was a comforting....
Nicholas
That's a nice yeah, that's a nicer gesture than what he's done with Annie.
Michael
I suppose.
Tau
He kicked Annie into a portal.
Tau
You literally kicked.
Michael
True.
Nicholas
No, no, it was the foot push her.
Tau
Yeah, that's called kicking, pushing someone with your foot is called that.
Nicholas
No but slowly like this.
Amanda
(mocks Alex) Oh, shut up Alex.
Tau
You sparta kicked her into the portal. (laughs)
Amanda
(laughs)
Nicholas
It's honestly worse because it's like, ew get away.
Tau
Yeah.
Amanda
Yeah!
Nicholas
This. Is. Tartarus!
Tau
Yeah. Alright. So everybody's in the portal?
Amanda
Yeah.
Michael
We sure are.
Tau
You find yourself in a quaint little room lined with dark purple stone tiles and a series of merchant wares appears to be laid out over a casket serving as a table.
Michael
(gasps)
Tau
You see a pomegranate of power for 75.
[SFX: Chime.]
Tau
You see 50 darkness for 75.
[SFX: Chime.]
Tau
You see a Cthonic Key for 100.
[SFX: Chime.]
Tau
And do you see a dedalus hammer for 150.
[SFX: Chime. Clink of metal.]
Michael
"Alright team. We've got 180 obols here to spend. And if we do the pomegranate, then we can additionally get a cthonic key for 100."
Nicholas
"Yes."
Michael
"And the pomegranate because we'll have enough."
Giancarlo
"I'll, I'll. So here's my thinking. The pom would be excellent because we have a very good boon. However, I'm wondering if it we'll see diminishing returns at this point and it might be more worth it to just have a new ability like from the hammer paired with a really good boon."
Michael
"I mean, I am all for finishing and escaping on this round. I am hoping for the best but the cthonic key will at least give us additional stuff in the future to unlock at the mirror of night."
Nicholas
"I am okay with you buying that key if you buy a pomegranate for the Ares boon."
Amanda
"Yeah, I think I like the sound of that as well."
Tau
Make a group perception check.
Amanda
Ohhh!
Michael
The wares our time, we've run out of time
Amanda
14 for Annie.
Nicholas
14.
Giancarlo
19.
Michael
13 for Arete.
Tau
Rolf, you also notice a large pouch sitting off to the corner.
Giancarlo
I say nothing.
Nicholas
Oh, you're one of those.
Amanda
You don't go grab it though?
Nicholas
No because--
Giancarlo
I don't want to fight frickin Charon, bro.
Amanda
Ohhh.
Nicholas
I didn't. I didn't have to fight him last time.
Michael
But he was gone by that point, wasn't he?
Tau
Charon is not there anywhere in the room. I will say that much.
Giancarlo
From seeing the pouch, are we supposed to like is that we're supposed to put our payment?
Tau
No.
Giancarlo
Oh, it's just there. It's just sitting there.
Nicholas
Remember? I got one last time.
Giancarlo
I know. I know. You got one. But I thought you were stealing. I thought that was like Charon's money.
Tau
The way it works is you deposit your obols on the casket and that money disappears and you get the item.
Giancarlo
Alright, whatever. If we die, we die. I'm gonna go pick it up.
Tau
So you pick up that pouch. It's a pouch with 300 obols in it.
[SFX: Shifting pouch of money.]
Giancarlo
"Hey guess what? We just got both buddies. Have fun. 300 obols look." and I empty it on the ground.
Nicholas
"Well done, old man."
Michael
"Oh my goodness. Wow. Great eye."
Amanda
"Wait, are you sure that's ours to take?"
Nicholas
"It is now."
Giancarlo
"I don't think it is. But I have a feeling this group is going to have to learn that the hard way."
Michael
"Wow, that seems very shady for me not having any idea what that was."
Nicholas
"Well, I did a similar thing and did not pay the price."
Michael
"Well, shall we spend some obols?"
Nicholas
"All I ask is we use the pomegranate for Ares."
Giancarlo
"I-I suppose that you know if we use this money wisely, maybe we won't have to face consequences if we get out of here."
Nicholas
"When we get out of here."
Amanda
"I wouldn't be so sure about that."
Michael
"Alright. I think we have enough to purchase everything. Is that what we want to do?"
Amanda
Yeah.
Tau
So subtracts 75 for the pom, 75 for the 50 darkness, 100 for the cthonic key, 150 for the Daedalus. Hermes or Ares which boon do you wanna power up?
Amanda & Nicholas
Ares.
Tau
Okay, it is now up to heroic rarity and with heroic rarity, whenever you deal damage you add four damage dice which is just fucking bonkers. For the Daedalus boon, you have a few choices. You could power up your attack, your special abilities in some way, or miscellaneous. That's all I'm gonna say.
Giancarlo
"Shall we try special this time?"
Nicholas
"I might be inclined to go miscellaneous."
Giancarlo
"That's cool with me too."
Michael
"I'm open to all options."
Giancarlo
I did not really like the attack one for me at least."
Nicholas
"No, I don't think we need the attack. Not now."
Tau
I mean, with the attack. I mean, theoretically, now you could get three attacks, all of which deal four extra ares dice.
Nicholas
Mmm.
Michael
(inhales sharply)
Tau
But that doesn't mean the other ones aren't freaking dope.
Nicholas
"I have changed my entire mind in all of five seconds and I want to attack."
Michael
"Well, you know, my adoptive father always said variety is the spice of life."
Nicholas
(clears throat) "Ares."
Michael
"So I'm inclined to pick something new just just to give life a little bit more irregular--"
Nicholas
"Arete!
Michael
"You know--"
Nicholas
"Eight dies of damage. Think of the possibilities."
Tau
Well it would be 12 dies, right? Because if you have extra attack already, and you're getting--
Nicholas
For me, but for them, it's for them, it's eight.
Giancarlo
"Well for me, it's none because I don't use weapons."
Nicholas
"Understood. Then miscellaneous. I-"
Michael
"I think miscellaneous would be fun."
Giancarlo
"I'm down with that. Annie?"
Amanda
"Sure. Yeah, yeah, whatever you guys want."
Tau
Okay, so the miscellaneous Deadalus boon triples your critical hit rate. Normally, you land a crit every time you roll a natural 20. Instead, now you'll land a crit anytime you roll 18 through 20.
Nicholas
Wonderful.
Tau
So it's called brutal blows.
Nicholas
Beautifully done.
Tau
You see also some nectar on the ground.
[SFX: Chime.]
Giancarlo
"Ah, delicious."
Nicholas
"We came here for."
Tau
So you have that. Furthermore, you see two gates leading out of the room. One of these gates leads to gems and the other leads to more nectar.
Giancarlo
"I'm inclined to get more nectar."
Michael
"I am totally open to the idea of additional nectar. Could always be a nice bribe for somebody down the line."
Amanda
"I'm okay with nectar."
Tau
Okay, who's going to the nectar gate?
Amanda
Annie will do it
Tau
The gate slides up revealing a black swirling mass.
[SFX: Stone and metal scrape open.]
Michael
Arete will pass through the gate. And as he does, he will give Annie a high five if she receives it.
Amanda
She's gonna put a fist up and let him slap it.
Michael
"Turkey."
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Amanda
:Good. That's fine. You guys get it?" and she's gonna look back at Alex and Rolf and be like "Did you get it? Did you see it? Did you see that? Did you see it?" (chuckles)
Giancarlo
"Yeah, yes, very funny, Anastasia."
Nicholas
"Humorous."
Amanda
Annie's gonna be like, "I mean, I appreciate you guys for trying. But if it's not genuine, you might as well just not say anything at all." Annie's just gonna walk through the portal.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Giancarlo
Rolf will once again offer his arm to Alexander to walk together.
Nicholas
Alexander will nod with a smile and just walk into the portal.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Giancarlo
And Rolf will follow.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Michael
Disappointment.
Tau
Here's what happens in the next room. It feels as though you've left Tartarus entirely. The tiles fade to soft earth below your feet. When was the last time you touched it? Not far from you, a tree hangs with low fruit. The ground sinks into a low pool of water all around the tree. A haggard man sits against it.
Giancarlo
(gasps)
Tau
Slumped dehydrated, emaciated,
Giancarlo
Is it Patroclus? Can I roll to see if it is, history?
Tau
Sure you can roll.
Michael
I will join in the roll.
Giancarlo
Critical failure.
Michael
Ooh, nat 20 plus four, 24.
Amanda
Annie got an 18.
Tau
Arete and Annie, you don't see this as Patroclus. You recognize this as a man named Tantalus.
[SFX: Acoustic guitar slowly fades in.]
Tau
There's this curse around Tantalus that you understand that from the gods and his punishment and Tartarus is that he is forever doomed to stay by this tree that hangs with low fruit. But anytime he reaches for the fruit, the fruit is pulled away from him. And anytime he reaches to drink the water below his feet, the water also moves away from him such that he can never eat or drink.
Michael
"So I guess it's... tantalizing." (laughs)
Tau
Your roll Arete, I'll say you can know a little bit more about his legend.
Michael
Love it.
Tau
So what you know about Tantalus is that his story is actually very similar to Axion's in some ways. And that he was also welcomed to Zeus' table in Olympus. And there he also abused Zeus' hospitality. But the way he did it is he actually stole ambrosia and nectar from the gods and brought it to the mortals.
Michael
(tsks disapprovingly)
Tau
And like that was like the top secret delicacy of the gods, they were not pleased. So this is part of his punishment. Well, actually, what happened was that he was to be punished, but instead Tantalus wanted to offer up some kind of sacrifice to spare himself punishment. So what he did is he actually took his son Pelops. And he sacrificed his son to the gods by cutting him up, boiling him and then serving him
Michael
(gasps)
Tau
up in a banquet to the gods. The gods all knew about it, they basically noticed except for one who accidentally partook of it. And they were furious that he killed his own son and offered him up as a sacrifice, essentially tricking them so then they doomed him in this way here in Tartarus to be punished.
Michael
"Hey, Rolf, I know you're not exactly familiar with the culture of the area. So let me just give you a quick rundown." And then Arete relays this information to Rolf and the rest of the group, because he's speaking aloud.
Giancarlo
Rolf will smile at you and say, "It's, it's not very nice to talk about the man as we stand right in front of him in such a manner. Hello, Tantalus. My name is Rolf."
Tau
His sunken eyes turned up to you and his lips are extremely cracked and dry and he kind of just mutters to you as if begging for help but can't even begin to form the words.
Giancarlo
"Okay. I see two solutions here."
Michael
"Yes."
Giancarlo
"One we give the man some water some food. It seems kind, it seems compassionate. Two, I don't know if that might piss off the gods. Maybe this man deserves punishment. Maybe kill him give us soul to Nemesis? I don't know. It seems a little harsh. And he seems like he's been through a lot. But then again, he did kill his son. But I mean, what is like a human right, right?"
Nicholas
"Wait. So you know what, what brings him here?"
Giancarlo
"Arete just told us."
Michael
"Did you just zone out while I gave you an entire monologue about the information?"
Nicholas
"A little bit."
Michael
"Why is it that you never listen? When other people are speaking Alexander, we need to have a serious discussion about your listening skills."
Nicholas
"So then, do you think he's worthy of entering the jar?"
Michael & Giancarlo
"But I think I think he's already being punished."
Michael
"Rolf, you and I are on the same wavelength here. I appreciate that."
Nicholas
"I appreciate him bringing ambrosia. But I don't appreciate him cutting up his child."
Giancarlo
"Um, Annie, how do you feel?"
Amanda
"I don't know. Because I do know that if we even attempt to give him food or water, the gods will not be happy with us. And then knowing our luck, I don't know, Nemesis will show up or someone will show up and they'll try and kill us. And that's--"
Tau
At this moment, the man slumps over and falls into the water.
[SFX: Water sloshes.]
Tau
But as he kind of gulps for the water that he's falling into it completely recedes away from his mouth such that he can't even begin to slurp at it.
Michael
"Well, at least he can't drown. That's nice."
Players
(laughs)
Giancarlo
"Arete, how long has this man been receiving punishment?"
Michael
"I mean, Rolf, I think the real answer is long enough."
Tau
Yeah, you got that you got the sense that it's been a few centuries at the very least.
Giancarlo
"Honestly, I'm inclined to agree. Here's the thing. Again, I kind of think we should be reforming these people. I don't know that's just my philosophy, whatever. But even if the gods are displeased with us giving them water I suppose they could just leave him here to continue not drinking and he'll suffer more having gotten a nice taste. So it's kind of shady win win if you think about it."
Amanda
"What are you suggesting?"
Giancarlo
"I give him some water and a bite of a fruit."
Nicholas
"Old man do not do not go against the gods."
Amanda
"I don't even. I'm gonna be honest these rooms are designed for... for punishment. I don't even think that's possible."
Tau
At this moment. You see a branch swing very, very low down from the tree.
[SFX: Leaves rustle.]
Tau
And you see a little girl sitting on the tree. She has long silver hair and lilac robes. And she's sucking on a lollipop. She says, (high, sweeet, echoing) "Oh, I didn't notice you guys were here."
Giancarlo
"Hello, little girl."
Michael
"What's your rush? You're missing all the flowers. Dadum dadum."
Giancarlo
"Annie, is this a friend of yours?"
Amanda
"Why would you assume that?"
Michael
"We just assume all young girls know each other."
Amanda
"Well, we don't. We don't."
Giancarlo
"Sorry. I've never been a little girl."
Michael
"You know what that is? That is my own prejudice speaking I am. I'm very sincerely apologize, Annie."
Amanda
"No, it's it's fine."
Giancarlo
"Hello, little girl. My name is Rolf. What's yours?"
Tau
"I'm Eleos." And you can make a religion check to know who that is.
Giancarlo
20.
Michael
19 for Arete.
Amanda
21.
Tau
Those of you who rolled you recognize her as Eleos, the goddess of mercy.
Giancarlo
"Ah, I think we were on the right track. Hello Eleos. My name is Rolf. I've heard tale of you. A goddess of mercy. Am I right??
Tau
"Really? People talk about me?"
Michael
"Oh, certainly only good things, my dear. Only good things."
Giancarlo
"And we don't mean that in the like, covering our tracks way, I do mean just good things. Just good things."
Tau
She kind of just like keep sucking on her lollipop and eyes the rest of you.
Giancarlo
"Eleos, I would love to get your input. But it looks like this man is having quite a difficult time. Perhaps I should, you know. Should we quench his thirst? Would that upset anyone?"
Nicholas
"Yes."
Tau
Her face kind of contorts as she thinks really hard about it. She goes, "I don't know. It's almost like there aren't right answers to these things."
Michael
"I love philosophy."
Giancarlo
"Very wise."
Nicholas
"Rolf, Olympus will look very unfavorably upon you should you aid that man."
Michael
Well, Arete is feeling very thirsty. So he's gonna approach the water and just kind of reach down and like cup his hands and take a drink.
[SFX: Water splashes.]
Tau
Okay.
Nicholas
That is mean.
Tau
You feel like if the man had any hydration left in his body, he would shed a tear but he doesn't have it.
Michael
Aww.
Amanda
Wow.
Giancarlo
"Eleos, what can you tell me about this man or this place we're in? I haven't seen ground like this in ages."
Tau
"All I can say is, this man's been suffering for a very long time. Sometimes at night. I hear him calling out begging for me. But I don't know what to do. I don't think he even sees me."
Giancarlo
"Oh Eleos. Why don't you aid him?"
Tau
"Again, I don't really know how.
Giancarlo
"Well then, I suppose the Olympians aren't my gods. They probably don't like me as is." And Rolf is going to go try to cup some water and pour it into the man's mouth.
[SFX: Water splashes.]
Tau
Okay, as soon as you try to pour the water into the man's mouth, it slips straight through your fingers, no matter how tightly close they are. And they don't go anywhere near the man's mouth.
Giancarlo
"Tantalus I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure how to help you. Eleos, why are you here?"
Tau
"Because this man was calling for me. I hear him every time I try to sleep who's calling my name begging for need and want to help him but I don't know how."
Michael
"Have you tried passing him any of the fruit on the tree?"
Tau
"I can't touch it." She raises a hand and it phases straight through the fruit.
Giancarlo
Okay, I grab a fruit and I take a small bite.
[SFX: Crunch of the apple.]
Tau
Yeah, you're able to. It is sweet and delicious.
Giancarlo
And then I try to get drop a little bit into his mouth.
Tau
As you do it just completely misses his mouth. He reaches for the piece and it just like sinks into the water and away from him.
[SFX: A small splash.]
Giancarlo
Is there anything else in the room?
Tau
Not that you can see. It's almost like you don't even see walls at the moment. It feels like you're at this kind of like misty grove.
Michael
Arete is gonna sit next to Tantalus and he's going to say "So Tantalus you've been here a while haven't you? You know, I've I've been doing a lot of thinking about punishment. And there's somebody that I-I very much want to see punished. But you know, I'd be very interested to know. Do you feel sorry for what you did?"
Tau
Immediately, the man starts furiously nodding.
Michael
"I-I can appreciate that. And, and when did that feeling kind of hit you?"
Tau
He doesn't know how to answer that question. He has no perception of time.
Giancarlo
"Arete. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Michael
"Well, if the man says he's learned his lesson, perhaps we can plead his case--
Nicholas
"Sure."
Michael
"--before the gods. I don't know."
Michael
"Kill your child. It's fine. If you learned your lesson, chop them to bits and serve them at dinner."
Giancarlo
"Alexander, have you never made a mistake?"
Tau
Eleos is gonna pull the lollipop out of her mouth and she's gonna look at Alexander. She's gonna say "Have you ever killed a child?"
Giancarlo
(laughs)
Nicholas
"But with reason."
Amanda
Mmmmm.
Nicholas
"Well I guess."
Tau
"I think I remember now. I think I remember people calling out my name, begging for mercy and suchor when you were killing them too." And she puts the lollipop back in her mouth and stares at you quizzically.
Michael
"Eleos. Actually, are you gonna finish that lollipop?"
Tau
"I don't think you could taste it if you tried."
Michael
"Could I try anyway?"
Tau
"Sure." She holds that the lollipop to you.
Michael
Arete attempts to take the lollipop? Does it succeed?
Tau
No, you phase right through it.
Michael
Damn it.
Tau
"I already told you. I can't touch anything here."
Michael
I was gonna try to give the lollipop to Tantalus and see if that was a like the backdoor
Tau
"People call for me to get mercy. But I don't think it's mine to give."
Giancarlo
While everyone is talking to Eleos I think they're going to turn to see Rolf loading a crossbow.
[SFX: Strained pull of the string.]
Giancarlo
And he's going to look down at Tantalus and say "Tantalus, listen, I have to imagine that the fate you're suffering here is worse than death. I do not know if you can die again. But we can try to kill you."
Tau
"I think he would have died already if he could."
Giancarlo
"But perhaps we can at least attempt and if we can kill you. I can bring you before Nemesis."
Amanda
"What."
Giancarlo
"Not for punishment. But as a sort of, to plead your case or reevaluation, essentially to ask for parole. I think you've learned your lesson you might not be deserving of the suffering anymore, but unless anyone analyzes it, it seems like you'll spend the rest of eternity here."
Tau
At this Tantalus' face just scrunches in agony as if he is trying to produce a single tear. And then finally does and it's almost as if it's burning his eyes to do this. His eyes are sunken in and a dark yellow like the sclera all yellowed as this tear burns down his face and he goes (gasping, desperate) "M-my son. Tell. Him. I'm. Sorry."
Giancarlo
"If I find him, I will."
Tau
Elio says, "Is that true?"
Giancarlo
"Certainly I will."
Tau
Eleos claps her hand together and she says "A pinky promise?"
Giancarlo
"A double pinky promise." Holds up both pinkies.
Tau
"Hm."
[SFX: Leaves rustle.]
Tau
She hoists herself up onto the branch as she walks along it towards the base of the tree, that she climbs higher and higher and higher. And the fog thickens, till you can't see Tantalus, you can't see Eleos, you can't see anyone anymore. And then finally, the fog fades and you find yourself in a square room.
Giancarlo
"Alright. Well, if we find his son, we tell him he's sorry."
Tau
You find a bottle of nectar on the ground.
[SFX: Chime.]
Tau
And one gate leading out of the room. The crystal globe on the gate shows you both a red spear point and a prismatic picture with a skull underneath it.
Amanda
Oh, no.
Giancarlo
"Oh boy. We're going to have to make some big decisions here and anger some people, friends. I heard tales of this. I was reading through the the library about Lord Zagreus' escapes. Basically, we're going to be allowed to choose a boon most likely and then the other God, who we reject is going to be very upset and most likely try to kill us."
Nicholas
"Ares or Iris?"
Giancarlo
"Yes, I think we could use a little Iris since we already have some Ares."
Nicholas
"Ares is the god of war, and has done me wonders in my life."
Giancarlo
"Iris saved our lives and if Ares--"
Giancarlo
"--is gonna be dealing some damage--"
Nicholas
"But she didn't."
Nicholas
"But she didn't."
Michael
"Gentlemen, gentlemen, shall we save this debate once we've entered the chamber?" and with that, Arete will snatch up the nectar that was on the ground putting it in his bag and will place his hand on the door opening it to the portal, I assume.
Tau
The portal opens revealing the inky wall.
Michael
Arete beckons to the rest of the group, points at Annie, and gives her finger guns.
[SFX: Snaps.]
Michael
"Eyyy." and then walks into the portal.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Amanda
Annie's going to clutch her stomach as if Arete shot her.
Michael
(laughs)
Amanda
"I'm not sure what the appropriate response to that is. So I thought this just made sense." And Annie will walk over and into the portal.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Giancarlo
Rolf will once again offer his arm to Alexander.
Amanda
(whispering, chanting) Third time's the charm. time's the charm.
Nicholas
Worried what's to come, Alexander is not so comforting this time around.
Michael
Oh, the other two times are comforting. Okay, I see.
Nicholas
A pat on the back and a nod with a smile is pretty good for how things have been going.
Amanda
For Alex, yeah.
Nicholas
Alexander will now walk with his head down into the portal.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Giancarlo
And Rolf will follow.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Tau
You find yourself in a square 30 foot by 30 foot chamber.
[SFX: A fire gentle crackles with a low rumble beneath it.]
Tau
To your far left you see a globe with a symbol of a prismatic ewer in it and to your distant right, so in the top right corner of the room, you see a globe with a red spear point in it.
Nicholas
Alexander would like to walk to the spear point globe.
Giancarlo
"Wait."
Nicholas
"I haven't pressed anything."
Giancarlo
"Okay. What what's everyone thoughts?"
Michael
"I mean, I'm wondering if there's a level above heroic, but I'm not sure if we're privy to that information."
Giancarlo
"I believe we'll just gain an additional boon."
Tau
A powerful one at that that much, you know.
Nicholas
(pointed) "I do not want to anger, the God of War. Do you?"
Giancarlo
(also pointed) "Well, what better way to appease him than to best him in battle with Iris' help?"
Nicholas
"Or better yet, have him help us conquer any battle."
Amanda
"Well, just, I could be remembering this wrong.... this is."
Giancarlo
"We get both."
Amanda
"Yeah, we get both."
Giancarlo
"But we're going to have to fight whoever we reject initially."
Amanda
"If we win, we get both."
Giancarlo
"If we lose, we start over.
Amanda
"So we'd rather, we think we'd rather fight... Iris, right?"
Giancarlo
(skeptical) "Alright."
Amanda
"No, I'm just, I'm asking a question."
Giancarlo
"Look, I'm just saying if this were like a game that I was playing with, like dice or something, and I had the God of War on my side to increase damage, I would then think it would be extra beneficial to also have the goddess Iris protecting me from the God of War."
Nicholas
"But then do we not lose his help, though, facing him?"
Giancarlo
"No, we just have to prove ourselves. Again, from the scrolls I read. Maybe they changed it up in here. These are outdated scrolls." (short laugh)
Michael
"The House of Hades is under new management these days."
Nicholas
"This one, Ares. has helped me countless times on the surface."
Michael
"Wait, I have an idea. What if we pop the bubbles at the exact same time?"
Players
(laughs)
Amanda
"I think then they'll both fight us at the same exact time. I'm just spitballing."
Michael
"That could be fun, quite the tale to tell."
Giancarlo
"I cannot see the face of whoever created this world we live in. But if I could I think they'd be smiling right now."
Players
(laugh)
Tau
Because there are a lot of things you all do that surprised me. And I don't account for but let me assure you that that is a possibility I accounted for.
Players
(laughs)
Amanda
"Okay. So maybe we should just pick it."
Giancarlo
"Do whatever you want. Just remember my AC is ele- I mean, it's on a scale of one to 20 it's an 11 easy to hit me."
Michael
"I mean, personally, I don't have a personal preference too much in terms of who I'm, I have allegiance to."
Nicholas
"Well, I owe Ares a lot for my success on the surface. I'm inclined to go with him."
Giancarlo
"Alright, that's one vote for Ares."
Michael
"You know, in my line of work, I've always looked at the pros and cons of any situation. And I have to say the cons of having the God of War angered by us is not exactly promising. So I will cast my vote with Alexander for the time being unless someone can give me a very convincing argument."
Amanda
"I can't."
Giancarlo
"Alright, touch his bubble then."
Nicholas
Alexander will put his hand on the Ares bubble.
Nicholas
{SFX: High ringing DING.]
Tau
When you do this, you hear the sound of that army marching toward you again and the air becomes thick with the smell of blood. And you see that shadowy figure emerge from the fog of war and the center as a voice rings out in your ear. (deep, commanding) "Your tactics are adept if too elegant for my tastes. Here, a boon to salve the wounds of battle." So first of all a d4 for me.
[SFX: Dice clatters.]
Nicholas
Four.
Tau
Okay, you get to choose a heroic level boon actually, and you get to choose it from Ares survivability, Ares utility.
Nicholas
Survivability?
Giancarlo
"Personally I could use some survivability for whatever's coming."
Michael
"I would be inclined to agree."
Amanda
"Me as well."
Nicholas
"Ares our gratitude is as wide as the ocean and we would accept the survivability boon."
Tau
So as you remember him talking about a boon to salve the wounds of war, you gain a heroic level boon from Ares. Your blood thirst empowers you. Whenever you deal damage regain four hitpoints.
Tau
Furthermore, you hear the ewer across the room shatter
Amanda
Oooo.
[SFX: Shattering.]
Tau
and you hear a voice ring out to you and the fog of war is dispelled. Ares marches away, the armies march away and now suddenly you hear crashing waterfalls.
[SFX: Waterfalls crash down.]
Tau
As the voice rings out to you. It says (light yet powerful) "Tell me wretches, do you think it's easy to cast my light down into the darkest depths of the Underworld? Let me show you what dark agents lurk just beyond the reach of my light. Just remember, when you turn your back to my light, you look upon a long shadow."
[SFX: Intense music fades in.]
ROGUE RUNNERS Volume 1: In the Blood, stars our players Nicholas Benetatos as Alexander the Great, Amanda Facosta as Anastasia Pantazis, Giancarlo Herrera as Rolf Yannik, and Michael Pisani as Arete Laskaris. Dungeon Mastering and NPC voices are by me, Tau Zaman. Cover art by Chandler Candela. Sound design and editing by Giancarlo Herrera. Title music by Sage G.C., with vocals by Jessica Dahlgren and Sage G.C. Character theme music by Giorgio Volpe. Additional music by Epidemic Sound. Transcription by Eli Barraza.
If you liked what you heard, we hope you’ll consider helping us make future tabletop parodies of your favorite stories. You can support us at Patreon, on patreon.com/roguerunradio. Patrons get access to our community Discord channel, as well as our behind-the-scenes chatcast Out of the Blood, where we talk about everything on our minds after the episode.
There are free ways to support the show too: we hope you’ll leave us a glowing review on your listening app of choice, as well as spread the good word about us on Twitter and Instagram, where you can follow us @RogueRunRadio. We love hearing from you, so hit us up there, or email us at RR@whisperforge.org.
Lastly, I’m so excited to tell you all about The Ordinary Epic, which is one of my very favorite audio dramas. It’s a comedic audio drama about found families, role-playing games, dungeons, and (occasionally) dragons. It’s so funny, heart-felt, and beautiful made. You can listen to the entire first season now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you enjoy podcasts. Stick around for a trailer at the end!
Get ready to run with us next week; new episodes drop every Friday. ‘Til next time, sinners. I’ll see you in hell.
[SFX: Title music.] “Escape...escape...escape...escape…”