Volume 1: In the Blood Ep. 7 - Nemesis

TRANSCRIPT - In the Blood Ep. 7 - Nemesis

Tau 

A product of the Whisperforge.

 

[SFX: Whisperforge chime.] Sound and story brought to life.

 

Tau 

You're listening to a parody that is not affiliated with or endorsed by Supergiant Games in any way. We're just big old nerds making improv fanfiction. ROGUE RUNNERS is rated R for pretty much everything you can find in Greek mythology, violence, assault, self harm, offensive language, insensitive humor and intense themes. We encourage everyone to check out our show notes and transcripts on our website at whisperforge.org. Are you ready to run? Then welcome to Volume 1: In the Blood.

 

[SFX: Music.]

 

Michael 

"Well, are we ready to go?"

 

Nicholas 

And with that Alexander will lead to the entrance of the trials.

 

Tau 

The Olympiad feels a little ignored, but Palaestra is not too proud. You know, so she was just like, "Hey, you guys are forgetting about us! We're here."

 

Michael 

Arete will, uh (laughs), pause for a moment, kind of look over, then look at the rest of the group, kind of trying to get a feel for what they want to do. He senses that Alexander wants to carry on but thinking that perhaps it would be best to get on their better side, Arete walks over to the Olympiad and goes "Sorry, there I you know, just get caught up in the moment."

 

Tau 

"It's okay, that happens to all of us. How did your first run go?"

 

Michael 

"Well, you know, as well as can be expected. Unfortunately. Megara got the best of us, but we are hoping that this run ends differently."

 

Tau 

"Oh, yeah, that really stinks. She got the best of us too. I mean, we were kind of down to man really early. So it was three versus her and all of her backup but..." then she kind of sideways glances to Adonis who turns even more red. She just goes "Sorry little guy. I didn't mean that your- (cheesy) we really value your contribution to the team," and then Adonis sniffles a little, he says "It's okay."

 

Tau 

Arete, seeing the sniffling, kind of fishes in his pack and finds like a spare bit of cloth and like holds it out to Adonis to see if he'll take it.

 

Tau 

As you hold out this cloth to Adonis, he goes "Oh, thank you so- ACHOO."

 

Giancarlo 

"Six feet!"

 

Tau 

And sneezes directly onto your hand and it is a juicy one like you feel like a nice mist. "I'm sorry." But he does graciously take the cloth and goes (blows nose). And then Oh, that was gross.

 

Players 

(laugh)

 

Tau 

So he does that. And then Pandaie pipes up and she says, "So how are you enjoying your infernal arm?"

 

Michael 

"Well, being that I just attuned it to myself, I am very excited to have received it. But we'll see how it does in the field."

 

Tau 

She eyes it she says "It looks sinister."

 

Michael 

"Um, I think it might be reflecting some of my inner turmoil."

 

Tau 

(as Pandaie) "That's dark." Palaestra says, "Well, I'm really happy for you, man. You know, listen, I still really meant it when I said, I think it would be really great if we all work together. You know, I just think we should all go out there and try your best, you know, try to help each other out if we can't. Sure would be nice if we could all team up against Megara."

 

Giancarlo 

"Yes, we do need a larger party to avoid some of her abilities."

 

Tau 

Adonis regards, Rolf and Annie as they catch on, he goes "It's nice to see you."

 

Amanda 

"Nice to see you too."

 

Giancarlo 

"I was worried about you, when we got to Apple of Discord."

 

Tau 

At this Adonis turns to the rest of his group, he goes, "What's Apple of Discord?" and the rest of his Olympiad just kind of like shoots him the sideways glance like they're going to have to explain that Santa is not real or something and they just like don't want to think about it. And Pandaie just goes "Don't worry about it."

 

Giancarlo 

"Well, I hope the trial wasn't too hard on you."

 

Tau 

"Oh." Pandaie remembers the trial that you're talking about. She goes, "We were actually worried about you. We saw the fog about to engulf your end, but it got very hard to see by the end."

 

Giancarlo 

"Well, surprisingly, we all made it out. So you know, you win some you lose some, amI right?"

 

Tau 

"I suppose. I do not intend to lose again."

 

Giancarlo 

"Neither does he." And he kind of gestures his head toward Alexander.

 

Nicholas 

"Forgive me for intruding. You said something about teaming up against Megara."

 

Tau 

"Well, if if such a thing were possible, it would certainly be advantageous. Don't you think?"

 

Nicholas 

"I would, but I don't see a way, do you?

 

Tau 

"Not that I can think of I haven't quite yet mastered the mechanisms of Tartarus and how it puts people together and pulls them apart just yet, but I think our best bet is to really just try to defeat her ourselves. We're more likely to get strong enough to beat her than to find out a way to circumvent the rules of Tartarus."

 

Nicholas 

"She couldn't possibly engage us at the same time could she?"

 

Tau 

"I very nearly had her." And Pandaie's grip on Labrys tightens.

 

Nicholas 

"I can empathize with you Pandaie, I too almost had her."

 

Giancarlo 

"Well, I mean, you died before I did. So I would say I almost had her."

 

Nicholas 

"Right. What was it again that you did?"

 

Giancarlo 

"I lit her on fire multiple times. In fact, it burnt her hair away. She seemed very upset when she attacked me that final time."

 

Tau 

"Okay, um, it was such a pleasure talking to you all. I think it's time for us to go ahead and start another run. Right, Alex?"

 

Nicholas 

Can I get a check on that skeleton that was getting beat up? Does he look important?

 

Tau 

That skeleton has since stitched itself back together, is standing back upright again. And it's doing that little like boxer feinting thing, trying to get Ajax to hit him again. But Ajax has actually since turned his attention to you.

 

Nicholas 

I'll do history.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Nicholas 

16.

 

Tau 

You've definitely heard about this guy before. And in fact, you learn that your job was actually inspired by his so when more people needed to train, you know, everybody couldn't beat up on this one skeleton named Skelly. So they started making shades be training dummies and you were one of the training dummies that used to get beat up on.

 

Nicholas 

Did I not meet Skelly when I was in the training?

 

Tau 

You might have seen him in passing. But unless you've actively gone up to talk to him, you probably wouldn't have met him and it doesn't sound like you have.

 

Tau 

Okay, well, I wish I knew him. But I don't so I'm just going to head towards the portal.

 

Tau 

(sarcastic) I know if only something could change that, like talking to them.

 

Players 

(laughs)

 

Tau 

Such is life.

 

Nicholas 

I don't want to bother. He looks busy with Ajax.

 

Tau 

He looks very happy. He loves getting the shit beat out of him.

 

Nicholas 

"What did the skeleton do to you?"

 

Tau 

Ajax says "Nothing, who cares?"

 

Giancarlo 

Fight Ajax fight Ajax fight Ajax.

 

Tau 

Do you say that out loud?

 

Giancarlo 

Yes. "Fight Ajax, fight Ajax, do it."

 

Michael 

"No!"

 

Giancarlo 

As you say that, Pandaie says "You know it might not be a bad idea to test out our infernal arms. You do need to practice with it after all, right?"

 

Nicholas 

"What happens when one dies here in the courtyard?"

 

Tau 

"Oh, it will be excruciating." And again, she tightens her grip on Labrys. Adonis says "I think we should really just start our next escape attempt."

 

Amanda 

"Yeah, I agree with Adonis. I think we should just get going."

 

Tau 

Pandaie shakes her head and says, "I would love to issue a formal challenge if you will accept it."

 

Nicholas 

"But what good does this do for any of us?"

 

Tau 

"Well, you get to try out your new infernal arm and Ajax gets to let off some steam at the very least. Plus we get to see who's the finer Olympiad." And the corner of her mouth stretches into a wry smile.

 

Nicholas 

"I believe we're about to find that out right now." And Alex will look at the group and nod toward the entrance of the trials.

 

Tau 

Ajax laughs and says "Pussy." And then Palaestra kind of scowls and goes "Ajax. Please, that is very inappropriate."

 

Michael 

Hearing that from Ajax, having been following, Alexander stops turns on his heel--

 

Nicholas 

"Arete. Don't waste your time. There is nothing to prove."

 

Tau 

"Yeah, nothing to prove here sissy boy."

 

Amanda 

Annie's gonna turn around and look at Ajax and be like, "Ajax, the Lesser right? Hm."

 

Tau 

He cocks his eyebrow at you and says, "Hey, you 18?"

 

Amanda 

(makes a surprised disgusted noise)

 

Michael 

Arete, hearing that just absolutely lunges at Ajax.

 

Amanda 

No!

 

Tau 

Alright, roll initiative.

 

Nicholas 

Alexander rolls his eyes and walks into the portal.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Tau 

(laughing) Okay.

 

Giancarlo 

What?!

 

Michael 

Arete rolled a 16 for initiative.

 

Giancarlo 

Rolf rolled a two.

 

Tau 

First up is Arete.

 

Michael 

Having lunged at Ajax, Arete is going to use deathshroud to become invisible. And he is going to use the momentum of that lunge to sneak around to perform a sneak attack behind Ajax. So that's a 22.

 

Tau 

Does hit so go ahead and roll your damage.

 

Michael 

Having snuck around with the momentum of his lunge, Arete takes La Voix

 

[SFX: Metal flick.]

 

Michael 

And plunges it into the back of Ajax and as he does that he gets closer to him and whispers (intensely) "Never say anything like that to a woman again." And he deals 14 piercing damage.

 

Tau 

Holy moly, okay. (grunts) "Say that again sissy boy." And then it is his turn. He is going to attempt to grapple you. You can choose to use athletics or acrobatics to evade this.

 

Michael 

It's an 18.

 

Tau 

He gets a 25. So he reaches his hand back where you stabbed him. He pulls that blade out with your hands still attached to it, lifts you up, and then very slowly, very deliberately walks over to that portal still dangling you, holds his face of really close to yours and says, I"'ll see you in hell" and then throws you into the portal.

 

Michael

"What a great exit liiiine."

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Giancarlo 

I'm gonna cast infestation on him. The target must succeed on a constitution saving throw or it takes 1d6 poison damage and moves five feet in a random direction. And I'm hoping that that direction is going to be into the portal.

 

Tau 

He is very hardy. What is the DC I have to make for constitution?

 

Giancarlo 

14.

 

Tau 

So he gets a 14 as well. So he turns to you with these mites flying around. And he goes, "Oh, it is on." He looked like he was going to end his turn after throwing Arete into the portal, but now that is not enough. It is Palaestra next. She's gonna say, "Listen, can't we all just get along? Please? Let's just let's just everybody, everybody stop casting spells. Everybody stop attacking each other and shoving each other? What do you say?"

 

Giancarlo 

"As long as you tell your friend to stop creeping on the child in my Olympiad."

 

Tau 

"Uh...Don't do that, that's really gross, Ajax. Come on!" "Well, technically, the age of consent in Greece is like--" "I don't want to hear it!" She barks at him this way. And I'm guessing she has advantage on persuasion against him.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

Her bark is pretty effective. So he seems like he's not about to take an action on his next turn unless something else happens.

 

Giancarlo 

"Annie, are you ready?"

 

Amanda 

"Yeah."

 

Giancarlo 

"Alright." And I'm going to wait for Annie to go through.

 

Amanda 

Annie's gonna go through.

 

Tau 

Ajax is standing right by that portal that he just threw Arete in. Like he wants to kind of do that thing where like, you know what, like, a really big guy is like walking past you on the sidewalk. And he like won't move.

 

Amanda 

(gritted teeth) Yeah!

 

Tau 

He like wants to do that. But Palaestra has really shaken him. So he's shrugs and like, steps aside as you go into the portal.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Giancarlo 

And then Rolf is gonna walk up to the portal, he's gonna look back at Palaestra, look at Ajax and say, "Good dog," and jump in.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Tau 

And for that, you've immediately begin your next escape attempt. Where you land is familiar to you because you were here on your first escape attempt. You essentially land on that long rectangular platform with two Skulltivators at the far end.

 

Giancarlo 

'Well, here we go again. Let's see who we have now." And I'm going to walk forward and hopefully a boon will pop up.

 

Tau 

As you take a step forward, suddenly, some powerful winds start swirling around you and a golden orb appears in front of you with a golden wing shape inside of it.

 

Giancarlo 

"Ah, I'm going to roll history." I rolled a seven.

 

Tau 

Okay, this seems like a windy, a windy boy.

 

Giancarlo 

"Ah, friends. Look, it's the windy boy," And I put my hand on the orb.

 

Nicholas 

What the fuck?

 

Michael 

I rolled a 13 for a history check.

 

Tau 

Okay, you know that it's Hermes. You touch the orb, Rolf. And as you do, you see this like shadowy humanoid shape just flying all around you at high speeds. And you hear this voice echoing in your minds. "Word of advice. When you're opening up these things, you're supposed to say 'Olympus, I accept this message' in some really serious voice. I'm not a stickler for rules, so I won't hold you to it. But it does sound nice. I miss when Prince Zagreus used to do it anyway. Oh, I'm Hermes, by the way. Delivery for you." And then you are able to select a boon. So first, anybody roll a d20, we're going to calculate the rarity of the boon.

 

Giancarlo 

That was an 8.

 

Tau 

It's a common rare item, but you are able to select again a power boon, a survivability boon, or a utility boon from Hermes.

 

Giancarlo 

"Well, gang, same options. I think survivability went well for us. I don't know what Hermes has in store, but in our current state, survivability might still be pretty helpful."

 

Michael 

"Or we could try a different type boon that could be interesting for this run."

 

Nicholas 

"It's already a different type of boon. And who better to survive than Hermes."

 

Amanda 

"Alright, survivability sounds fine with me."

 

Giancarlo 

"Sorry, Arete. The next one will go something fun."

 

Tau 

Okay. So if this boon it becomes easier for you to avoid attacks. So for the common rarity, you may dash as a bonus action. And if you are somebody who has a feature, such as a rogue who can already do this, you can move double your dash distance this way.

 

Michael 

Cool.

 

Giancarlo 

That's very useful. And as that happens, I guess I say "Hermes, I accept this message. Did I do it right?"

 

Michael 

"You're doing great kid."

 

Nicholas 

Can I choose my additional effect?

 

Tau 

Yeah, you can choose one more.

 

Nicholas 

Yeah, I'll do power.

 

Tau 

You make your attacks more quickly such that they are harder to avoid. So it's plus one to attack rolls. So with that, you see that shadowy silhouette fly off high, high above you and the winds subside.

 

[SFX: A whip of wind.]

 

Giancarlo 

"Well, let's get to it." And Rolf assuming everyone else is doing the same, is gonna get into same formation from last time and prepare his magics

 

Nicholas 

"Old man. What spells exactly do you have?"

 

Giancarlo 

"Many. Why? What do you need?"

 

Nicholas 

"Okay, let's rephrase. What helpful spells do you have?"

 

Giancarlo 

"Fuck You."

 

Nicholas 

(laughs)

 

Michael 

"Again, many. What do you need?"

 

Nicholas 

"Well, the best offense is a good defense. I have nothing to protect you very well. I have to do something about your damage out put, Arete."

 

Michael 

"Yes, sir?"

 

Nicholas 

"We should be using your flanking abilities more often. And we've Anastasia, you might be the one that would be aiding the party most of the time."

 

Amanda 

"Really?"

 

Nicholas 

"Instead of wildly swinging around arms and attacking the enemy doing very little to affect it. We should be playing to our strengths, I believe."

 

Amanda 

"Yeah, no, you're right."

 

Nicholas 

"So I will still take point. I think it would be best, Arete, if you don't exactly fall in formation, but sort of become a rogue element as that is your class." (laughs)

 

Michael 

"Sure thing, captain." And with that, Arete like pulls himself towards the side of the bridge.

 

Nicholas 

"I will still take point for the old man and Anastasia. And I hope that we do not lose our focus this time, and we reach the end before those moronic Olympiads."

 

Giancarlo 

"Well then we'd better get started."

 

Nicholas 

And Alexander will take point in the formation to move forward.

 

Tau 

Okay, go ahead and roll initiative

 

Nicholas 

That's a 20 for Rolf.

 

Michael 

15 for Arete.

 

Amanda 

23.

 

Nicholas 

13.

 

Tau 

Rolf, you're not the first in initiative but because you're initiating the combat, we're gonna say you're gonna run first this round and then in the second round, you'll be slotted into normal initiative.

 

Giancarlo 

So yeah, I guess Rolf is gonna run until he's just close enough in range kind of stopping and like he still slides forward just a smidge.

 

[SFX: Light running footsteps, a slight sliding.]

 

Giancarlo 

And does this motion with his hands as you see the veins bulge and instead of one crystal this time, you see like a multitude of shards come out of the fingers as they come together in this big green blast of acid, and he flings it forward, hoping to hit both the Skulltivators.

 

[SFX: A flinging hit with a slight crunch.]

 

Tau 

They're dextrous, that is their main thing, I will say.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

10 and 11.

 

Giancarlo 

Yeah, so in this case, he's gonna go ahead and use that blood crystal to increase the damage output. So he does 10 points of acid damage plus an additional point from the blood crystal.

 

Tau 

So both of them get hit by this and then you recall the feature that Skulltivators have...

 

Giancarlo 

Yeah.

 

[SFX: Energetic music slowly fades in.]

 

Tau 

Which is called thick skull, the very first instance of damage the Skulltivator takes is reduced to zero and cannot be increased by any means. This feature activates only once and never again. So your crystal bounces clean off the Skulltivator and hovers next to it on the ground.

 

 

"Let's get a move on."

 

Tau 

Next up is one of the Skulltivators it is going to dash straight to you, Rolf. But that's all it can do on its turn.

 

Amanda 

Well Annie's gonna probably do the same as Rolf and just move towards the Skulltivators.

 

Tau 

There's one that's very close to you right now and then there's one that's 60 feet away.

 

Amanda 

Oh, brilliant. Then I will turn towards the one that's closest to me and cast thunderclap. So you need to succeed on a constitution saving throw.

 

Tau 

Oh okay, they don't have anything in this...

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

Three.

 

Amanda 

Brilliant so now you take five thunder damage.

 

Tau 

That's exactly how much you need to kill it. So the Skulltivator goes (cries out shakily) and the thunderclap obliterates it.

 

[SFX: Small explosion and clatter of bones.]

 

Tau 

The next up is the other Skulltivator who is going to dash towards you, Annie. Now we have Arete, and Alexander you're on deck.

 

Michael 

I'm going to do a normal attack. I mean well as normal as La Voix allows me to so that's an eight.

 

Tau 

That does not succeed.

 

[SFX: A swipe that doesn't make contact.]

 

Michael 

For my bonus action, I am going to hide. A 20. With this very high stealth check, Arete is going to take the cloak that he is wearing and go full Lord of the Rings and just use it to try to disguise himself as a rock.

 

Nicholas 

Alexander will turn over his shoulder to old Rolf, "Good work old man." And then he will attack with two long sword strikes, Skulltivator.

 

[SFX: Dice rolls.]

 

Nicholas 

21.

 

Tau 

Okay, roll damage.

 

Nicholas 

Eight.

 

Tau 

Yep, that kills it.

 

[SFX: A successful smash.]

 

Tau 

So that resolved very quickly. And if you guys remember how much time it took you to kill the Skulltivator last time you feel like you have already significantly grown in your abilities. Yeah, that that concludes the fight with the Skulltivators. At the far end of the room, you see a gate. On that gate is an ornate hammer symbol. Furthermore, you hear a little splash in the blood to your right.

 

[SFX: A splash and small gasps.]

 

Amanda 

Annie's gonna run over towards the splash.

 

Tau 

Okay, make a perception check.

 

Amanda 

She will make a perception check! That's a 14.

 

Tau 

You are certain that it is the exact same carp that winked at you when it first hopped out of the blood. It comes out again and like winks at you even though it doesn't have eyelids. It somehow does this. It just goes like ching!

 

[SFX: DING.]

 

Tau 

 And falls back into the blood.

 

Tau 

Annie's gonna like crouch down and like, not touch the water, obviously, but she's gonna like crouched down and she's gonna like peek right over the ledge. She'd be like, "I'm gonna be back little buddy and I'm going to be back, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm going to be back. Okay, I'm going to be back." And she gets up and she looks at the guys and she's  like, "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

 

Nicholas 

"Anastasia. This fish... is it of significance?"

 

Tau 

"I mean, I guess it depends on who you ask. But yeah."

 

Michael 

"It's significant to Annie and that's what matters." And with that Arete walks towards the gate, and he places his hands upon it.

 

Tau 

The bubble pops the gate slides upward to reveal a black portal.

 

Michael 

"See you on the other side." And Arete kind of does like a cannonball jump.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Giancarlo 

Rolf pulls out a little pamphlet and starts reading it as he casually walks through it without noticing.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Nicholas 

(laughing) Pamphlet, what?

 

Amanda 

"Where'd he get that pamphlet? What is that?"

 

Giancarlo 

He keeps scrolls on him for his studies.

 

Nicholas 

Can we still see the fish?

 

Tau 

No.

 

Amanda 

"You should have seen that fish man. He, it winked at me and everything."

 

Nicholas 

"Yeah, I disregarded it the first time, but I don't know why it feels significant this time."

 

Amanda 

(gasps, then in a singsong voice) "You wanna fish."

 

Nicholas 

"Well, we can't."

 

Amanda 

"You wanna go fishin'."

 

Nicholas 

"Don't breathe a word of this to the others."

 

Tau 

"Alex wants to go fishing!" And as she says that she follows soon after Arete and jumps into the portal.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Tau 

I'm going to give inspiration to Annie for that.

 

[SFX: CHIME.]

 

Amanda 

YEAH! (laughs)

 

Nicholas 

Alexander like, walks through the portal that he double takes to where the fish used to be, and squints his eyes and then he walks to through the portal.

 

Players 

(laugh)

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Tau 

You go into the portal, you feel a watchful eye on you. And then the portal slams shut.

 

[SFX: Metal clink.]

 

Tau 

You arrive at a massive chamber so large, you can't even see the walls on any side. The air is hot and smoky. It's not hard to see why. In the center of the room, you see a massive, floating flaming wheel. impossibly large, and tied to one of its spokes is a man moving too quickly on the spinning wheel to make much out of. Each time his spoke passes closer to you, his scream of agony gets louder before it fades away again.

 

[SFX: A swoop and a yell that fades away.]

 

Nicholas 

I want to, I want to history check this guy.

 

Michael 

I'll also join in on that history check.

 

Giancarlo 

Can I just do a general investigation as to like what the hell this contraption is?

 

Tau 

Yeah, I'm just gonna go in order that I see in the chat. So Rolf, tell me first what you do.

 

Giancarlo 

Well, that's a six in investigation just to see what the hell this big wheel thing is.

 

Tau 

Alright, you see a big flaming wheel with a guy tied to it. And he's just going (yells) It's just spinning in the air.

 

Giancarlo 

"Are you alright?"

 

Tau 

He doesn't seem able to hear you over the sound of his own agony.

 

Giancarlo 

Fun.

 

Tau 

Arete, do you do anything?

 

Michael 

I go ahead and do a history check to see if I know who that is.

 

Tau 

Make it with disadvantage, because it's hard to see him because he's moving really fast, and it's very smoky in the air.

 

[SFX: A distant yell.]

 

Michael 

(laughs) Critical fail babey. Pew pew pew!

 

Tau 

Oh, you are not able to make out who it is. It's just a naked man just flying around in pain.

 

Nicholas 

Can I do that same check?

 

Tau 

Go ahead.

 

[SFX: Dice clatters.]

 

Nicholas 

That's a 10.

 

Tau 

You have no clue who that is.

 

Nicholas 

Dang.

 

Amanda 

Annie would like to do a check? Oh, I'll use the inspiration, why not? That's a 22!

 

Tau 

Okay, you somehow do recognize who this is. It's not so much from his appearance, because that's hard to make out. But from his circumstances you can make out who this is. And you recognize this as a man named Ixion. And Ixion is someone who is known as the very first of the ancient Greeks to commit kin slaying, killing his own kin, yeah. Which is considered one of the absolute worst things you can do in Greek mythology, if you can imagine. With that really good roll, you know, a few more things about him actually. So he was betrothed to this woman, but he had to like pay this bride price for her but he didn't end up paying it.

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

And so his father-in-law ended up stealing some of his horses as kind of this like jab at him, which Ixion did not accept. And so he shoved his father-in-law into burning hot coals.

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

And so that was like the very first act of killing someone in your family, not counting the titans of course, so he was punished for that. But actually, as he was being punished for that, Olympus took pity on him, particularly Zeus for whatever reason.

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

And Zeus invited him up to Olympus to dine with him. And while Ixion was dining with Zeus, he started making advances at Hera under the table.

 

Amanda 

(gasps)

 

Tau 

Which was also considered a serious breach of etiquette and you know, greek hospitality.

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

So that very night, Zeus created a clone of Hera made out of clouds, named Nephele. And he sent that clone of Hera named Nephele to Ixion's bed to test him and Ixion obviously it was overcome with lust and you know,

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

Did try to sleep with her. So when Zeus found out about this, he basically banished Ixion on for taking advantage of his hospitality and his forgiveness. And his punishment was to be tied to this flaming wheel for all eternity for both kin slaying and for his endless lust, which this wheel is meant to symbolize. And that is taking place in this massive chamber in Tartarus.

 

Amanda 

Oh, wow.

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

Oh also, you know that he's also the father of centaurs.

 

Giancarlo 

(laughs)

 

Tau 

Not super relevant but just a cool little factoid you get.

 

Amanda 

Is he really?

 

Tau 

Yeah, so he and Nephele gave birth to Centaurus, the first of the centaurs. So all the Centaur hearts you are chomping on...?

 

Giancarlo 

Are his children.

 

Tau 

Yeah.

 

Tau 

"That.... um, hey guys, that's um, I'm not really sure what we're supposed to do in this room. Um, but but that's that's not a very good man."

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Nicholas 

"Do you know this person? Anastasia?"

 

Amanda 

"Yeah."

 

Giancarlo 

"A friend of yours?"

 

Amanda 

"No, no, not at all. Um, his name is Ixion and, um, well he's here because he... well he's here for several reasons but I mean he's here and look where he is and what he's--"

 

Michael 

"Yeah. The wheel with the turning in the flames kind of gave it away that this is probably someone being punished for a pretty serious--"

 

Amanda 

"Right."

 

Michael 

"infraction."

 

Tau 

(low chuckle, a haunting voice) "A fitting punishment for a kin slayer, don't you think?" By your side stands a goddess made more of wings than woman. Wings where her ears should be, several sets of wings from her back, wings for arms, wings for eyelashes. "Tell me. Do you believe him deserving?"

 

Amanda 

"Ah. Deserving of? Of what, exactly?"

 

Tau 

"This punishment." And she smiles.

 

Amanda 

"Ah."

 

Michael 

"Oh, well, miss. I don't know. Unfortunately, I am unclear as to who you are. But I will say as someone who was slain by someone I considered kin, he's not getting enough punishment."

 

Tau 

At this, she smiles and she says "I see."

 

Giancarlo 

"Well just to play Hades advocate here--"

 

Michael 

(bursts out laughing)

 

Tau 

Oh my god.

 

Giancarlo 

"Someone who comes from a very war heavy society, I do understand, you know, war has its place and then violence and retribution and all of that. But I also believe through my own studies, I found it more effective to help rehabilitate those who have committed crimes and make sure that they recontribute to the community. For example, you could be using this man and you know, once he has been shown the error of his ways, to create more goods for grecian society, rather than just generating agony. Which I mean."

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Giancarlo 

"I understand that the satisfaction in that especially for those who were wronged, but personally, I would try to advance your people."

 

Tau 

"Olympus did try to rehabilitate him. And he took advantage of their mercy. That too befits punishment."

 

Giancarlo 

"Fair. So is he here forever? Or is there you know, a date at which he will be offered parole?"

 

Tau 

"Oh. Long enough for forever to be indistinguishable from the truth."

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Giancarlo 

"Who am I to meddle in your affairs?"

 

Tau 

At this, you hear that voice just go...

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell swinging by twice.]

 

Giancarlo 

"I'm sorry. Hi, my name is Rolf and you are?" And I'm going to hold up my hand.

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell. String music quietly comes in.]

 

Tau 

She lays a feather on your hand and you feel like nick you, like these are very very sharp feathers, they're almost bladed.

 

Giancarlo 

Ach.

 

Tau 

"Nemesis."

 

Giancarlo 

"That's a cool name."

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

It is a cool as hell name. I gotta give her that.

 

Giancarlo 

"So Nemesis what do you what do you do in here? You come here often?"

 

Tau 

Make a group history check.

 

Giancarlo 

20.

 

Michael 

11.

 

Nicholas 

22.

 

Amanda 

Also 11.

 

Tau 

Okay, well, you all hear the name Nemesis and a certain number of associations come to you.

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

So you understand her to be the personification of revenge and retribution and specifically revenge as a form of justice.

 

Nicholas 

"Nemesis. Do you know who we are?"

 

Tau 

"I am afraid I do not. It is not often that one finds their way in here, into the Oubliette. Welcome."

 

Giancarlo 

"The Oubliette you said?"

 

Tau 

"Yes."

 

Giancarlo 

"What is that?"

 

Tau 

"It is here. It is a space that adapts itself to fit each prisoner such that they may be administered their punishment appropriately."

 

Giancarlo 

"Okay, be straight with me here, Nemesis. Um. Are we prisoners? Are we about to be punished? Is that what's going on? Or did we just happen to stroll through?"

 

Tau 

Her eyes gleam in this wicked glow, and she says "Do you want to be?"

 

Giancarlo 

"If I'm being perfectly honest,"

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Giancarlo 

"And I like to be honest, no, I don't."

 

Tau 

"Very good punishment is only for the deserving."

 

Michael 

Arete kind of like, tentatively raises his hand and like, "I volunteer."

 

Tau 

"What do you volunteer for?"

 

Amanda 

Annie wants to put her hand on Arete's arm and she's like "No, shshsh, stop. Stop, stop stop it, no you don't."

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Michael 

"I mean, like, it's punishment enough, right? Just dying?"

 

Amanda 

"Arete, no. Ah. (to Nemesis) Excuse me. Excuse me. Nemesis? Excuse me. Um, thank you so much for welcoming us into this room. Now, ah."

 

Nicholas 

"Where is the exit?"

 

Amanda  

"How might we go about finding the exit?"

 

Tau 

"To be truthful, I couldn't tell you. Like I said, it is not often that Tartarus lets people into the Oubliette at all. So I am uncertain as to its exit. However, I think I could be convinced..."

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

"To perhaps employ some of my abilities to let us say, pull on the seams of Tartarus' designed such that a way out might be available to you. Be aware that this is not something that Oubliettes often have, a way out, that is."

 

Giancarlo 

"And I assume that you take most joy from administering judgment, yes?"

 

Tau 

"It is my solemn duty. I don't know what you mean."

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

And she licks her lips wickedly.

 

Giancarlo 

"Ah, understood. Ahuh."

 

Michael 

"Well, if you ever see it, Nikolas Enklima come through here, you let him know that he's getting exactly what he deserves."

 

Tau 

"I can do you one better. Why don't we get Nikolas Enklima in here?"

 

Giancarlo 

(gasps)

 

Michael 

"What." Every muscle in Arete's body tenses. "He's here? I was meant to send him down here."

 

Tau 

"I know not where he is. I simply know that if you were able to get ahold of him, and let's just say I can provide you an instrument to make that happen. I could see to it that he was afforded the punishment that he deserves."

 

Michael 

"I'll do it. Whatever it takes."

 

Tau 

Her smile widens and the steely wings that comprise her entire body seemed to all glisten as if a single point of light was just like moving in a circuit around all of the edges at the same time. "Very well. Then, perhaps I might ask a favor of you in return."

 

Michael 

"Name it."

 

Tau 

She reaches into small pocket in her garb. And she withdraws a tiny, tiny little jar. "As you make your way through Tartarus and the rest of the Underworld, find me deserving souls."

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

"Souls deserving of punishment here at the Oubliette. Bring them back to me. And I will see that you are rewarded with powers beyond mortal limits."

 

Nicholas 

"How would we come back here?"

 

Tau 

"I cannot say as I said, no one has a way into the Oubliette that I know of. Nor are they designed to be exited. But fate has brought you here to me and as such, I trust that it will return you to me."

 

Michael 

"I accept."

 

Tau 

She smiles and hands you the tiny little jar.

 

[SFX: Scrape of a jar.]

 

Michael 

"Thank you, Nemesis."

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell.]

 

Tau 

Make an Arcana check, Arete.

 

Michael 

13.

 

Tau 

Okay, you get a sense of how this jar works. And the way that it works is that when you kill a creature, anywhere in the Underworld, you can expend your action. Instead of letting that creature return to the Styx in some fashion, you could attempt to capture its essence in this tiny little jar.

 

Michael 

Alright.

 

Tau 

She turns to the rest of you says "Well, will you do as I ask?"

 

Giancarlo 

"I'm certainly willing to bring you deserving souls but how are we to judge who is or is not deserving?"

 

Tau 

(chuckles) "Leave that question to the gods."

 

Giancarlo 

"Well, alright. May I have a jar?"

 

Tau 

She twirls her hand and another one materializes there.

 

[SFX: Metal jar lid jostles.]

 

Giancarlo 

"Thank you, Nemesis."

 

Tau 

"Thank you."

 

Nicholas 

Alexander will hold out his hand.

 

Tau 

She produces a jar and then she puts her hand on your forehead and she just like pushes away one of your locks and then twirls it in her long fingers and says, "Hm, handsome."

 

Nicholas 

(laughs) He doesn't say anything, he just takes the jar.

 

Amanda 

Annie is going to tap on Nemesis on her arm.

 

Tau 

Make a sleight of hand check.

 

Amanda 

Oh, what? No, I just wanted (laughs) I'm sorry.

 

Tau 

I just emphasized a lot of times she's covered in steely blades, I'm sorry.

 

Amanda 

That's an 18.

 

Tau 

Okay, yeah, you're fine. So you kind of nudge on her and you say Nemesis a few times. And she turns down to regard you

 

Amanda 

"If I were, if I were to say no to to what you ask, would I... would I end up like when I end up like Ixion or..."

 

Tau 

(Nemesis laughs) And then she looks at Ixion twirling on the wheel and she bites her lip a little bit as if it's like arousing to her and she says "My dear, saying no is never a crime."

 

Amanda 

"Huh."

 

Giancarlo 

"Oh, I should have just been honest then."

 

Amanda 

(laughs relieved) "That's really reassuring."

 

Tau 

"I punish those who act as if it is"

 

Tau 

'Okay. So, I can kindly... decline... the soul catching offer?"

 

Tau 

"Not all are suited to this sacred task. So I suppose, yes. You may certainly decline."

 

Amanda 

"Will I still be able to leave?"

 

Tau 

"I do not know how you would but I will certainly try to find a way for you to."

 

Amanda 

Huh. Yeeeah. Okay, Annie's just gonna enable hold her hand out. Like, "I'll take the jar."

 

Tau 

"Are you sure? I mean it. You really don't have to take it."

 

Amanda 

"No, I know I'm really not sure either, but I, it's, I'd rather try it. I don't want to die again."

 

Giancarlo 

"Well, you don't have to use the jar. But if you come across someone who you find particularly deserving then then you have the option, right? Am I right here, Nemesis?"

 

Tau 

She nods and says, "I look forward to seeing who you find deserving."

 

Giancarlo 

Oh my that was quite ominous.

 

Amanda 

"Okay, yeah. No, I'll take it. I'll take it. Thank you."

 

Tau 

She gives it to you and she clasps her hand around yours and she says, (gently) "Give it back anytime. If you are not ready, you are not ready."

 

Amanda 

"Thank you."

 

Tau 

"Well, shall we go without finding a way for you to get out of here?"

 

Michael 

"Yes, Nemesis."

 

Amanda 

"Yes."

 

[SFX: A nearby yell in the background.]

 

Michael 

"Thank you."

 

Players 

(laugh)

 

Tau 

(laughing) Was that Ixion?

 

Michael 

No. Well, I mean, it was somebody that can be featured as Ixion from the background, but hold on, let me just see what the hell's going on and just tell them to shush.

 

[SFX: Ixion's distant yell. The string music grows, a moving beat beneath it.]

 

Tau 

She walks toward the flaming wheel with Ixion swirling around on it over and over in endless rotations and maddening circles. And it seems to get louder and louder and the fire billows the smoke bursts out and large blossoms as it grows everywhere. The whole room seems to become suffused with this smoke and all you can smell and taste is ash. And she looks back at you the fire highlighting her silhouette. She says "Promise to bring me the unworthy, the truly wretched ones, the ones who deserve to be punished." And then, with a bright smile, she turns back to the wheel. She leaps onto the wheel grabs onto one of its spokes and lets it carry her as it spins as she laughs. (laughs) Joyously it echoes throughout this impossibly large chamber. And then suddenly the smoke thickens till everything is impossible to see. Then it vanishes slowly. And you find yourself in a very, very, very tiny room or a room only big enough to fit the four of you. It is essentially the size of a closet. And then you see a little gate directly above you on the ceiling.

 

Giancarlo 

I press the bubble on the gate and we come out of the closet.

 

Tau 

The symbol on the gate by the way as a centaur heart. You touch the bubble and the portal slides open above you.

 

[SFX: Sliding stone.]

 

Giancarlo 

Okay, I climb out.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Michael 

Arete attempts to just jump just like vertical clearance right into the portal. (grunts)

 

Tau 

It's one of those double gravity things or once you jump off the ground, the gravity of the portal just kind of gently lifts you the rest of the way inside.

 

Michael 

Weee!

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Tau 

"Wait Oh wait, wait. Alex, wait, hold my hand. Alex hold my hand. Alex, hold my hand!"

 

Nicholas 

He holds her hand.

 

Amanda 

And Annie just jumps and she just wants to float so that she she's not entirely in the portal but it's kind of like she's flying. That's all

 

Tau 

So you're briefly levitating in the Oubliette?

 

Tau 

Yeah! She just really wanted to she really wanted to know what that sensation felt like. "Okay, okay, Alex, you can let go."

 

Nicholas 

"Anastasia, listen."

 

Nicholas 

"That's jar you have... should Ajax give you trouble again..."

 

Amanda 

"What?"

 

Giancarlo 

(deep laugh)

 

Tau 

Annie is just gonna look at Alex. "Alex. Great minds think alike, huh." And she's just gonna let go and float into the portal.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Nicholas 

Yeah, Alex will jump.

 

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Tau 

Rolf, Arete, Annie, and Alexander, float or jump or climb into the portal. As they do, a tiny string carrying a tiny jar attached to their waists, twinkles just before falling into the portal out of sight.

 

[SFX: Intense title music.]

 

Tau 

ROGUE RUNNERS Volume 1: In the Blood stars our players Nicholas Benetatos as Alexander the Great, Amanda Facosta as Anastasia Pantazis, Giancarlo Herrera as Rolf Yannik, and Michael Pisani as Arete Laskaris. Dungeon mastering and NPC voices are by me, Tau Zaman. Cover art by Chandler Candela. Sound Design and editing by Giancarlo Herrera. Title music by Sage G.C. with vocals by Jessica Dahlgren and Sage G.C. Character theme music by Giorgio Volpe. Additional music by Epidemic Sound. If you liked what you heard, we hope you'll consider helping us make future tabletop parodies of your favorite stories. You can support us at patreon on patreon.com/roguerunradio. Patrons get access to our community discord channel, as well as our behind the scenes chat casts Out of the Blood or we talk about everything on our minds after the episode. There are free ways to support the show too. We hope you'll leave us a glowing review on your listening app of choice as well as spread the good word about us on Twitter and Instagram, where you can follow us @roguerunradio. We love hearing from you. So hit us up there or email us at rr@whisperforge.org We're very proud to be in The Whisperforge collective and hope you'll check out our other shows. Are you a fan of the Wild West, bounty hunting, sex with demons, maybe the power of friendship? If any of those things excite you, give Caravan a listen. Get ready to run with us next week, new episodes drop every Friday. 'Til next time sinners. I'll see you in hell.

 

[SFX: Title music.]  “Escape... escape... escape....”