Volume 1: In the Blood Ep. 5 - Megaera, The Fury
TRANSCRIPT - In the Blood Ep. 5 - Megaera, The Fury
Tau
A product of the Whisperforge.
[SFX: Whisperforge chime.] Sound and story brought to life.
Tau
You're listening to a parody that is not affiliated with or endorsed by Supergiant Games in any way. We're just big old nerds making improv fanfiction. ROGUE RUNNERS is rated R for pretty much everything you can find in Greek mythology, violence, assault, self harm, offensive language, insensitive humor and intense themes. We encourage everyone to check out our show notes and transcripts on our website at whisperforge.org. Are you ready to run? Then Welcome to Volume 1: In the blood.
[SFX: Title music. Then a ROAR]
Tau
Enigmatos roars. "You are indeed worthy."
Players
(CHEER)
Amanda
YES!!
Tau
Arete, the short sword that was on the pedestal immediately appears in your hand.
[SFX: Swoosh.]
Tau
Whatever dagger you were holding there vanishes instead it is replaced by this short sword there. It has five crosses marked onto the hilt. Also, while you are holding it, you can hear a little like divine choir very softly, just like faintly.
[SFX: An ethereal choir fades in.]
Tau
But only you can hear it while you're holding it. It says "You are indeed worthy!" It is bellowing but this roar does not seem to hurt you at all. Furthermore, something else happens. The Androsphinx conjures forth a great feast, including magnificent food and drink.
[SFX: Chime.]
Tau
If you partake of this feast, it takes one hour to consume and it disappears. At the end of that time, up to 12 creatures can partake of this feast, a creature that partakes of this feast gained several benefits; the creature is cured of all diseases and poison, becomes immune to poison and being frightened, and makes all wisdom saving throws with advantage. Its hit point maximum also increases by...
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
...by 19.
Giancarlo
Wooooah.
Tau
And it gains that same number of hit points. So basically, your current and your maximum go up by that. The benefit lasts for 24 hours. So you have that massive feast content in front of you. Its entire demeanor has changed, it regards you with pride and respect. And it urges you to partake of this feast.
Giancarlo
"Yeah, hell yeah, dude."
Amanda
Yeah.
Michael
"Please, join us at the table."
Tau
It does. It just sits next to you, kind of like a lap dog, and then it's human face is just kind of like looking around at all the cool foods that it hasn't had a chance to summon this in a very long time. So it's very pleased.
Amanda
Awwww.
Giancarlo
"Thank you, Enigmatos."
Tau
"Thank you for proving yourselves worthy."
Giancarlo
"Well, hot diggity, shit, Arete. You've got an infernal arm."
Michael
"I sure do."
Amanda
"Congratulations!"
Giancarlo
"We might just make it out, like actually."
Michael
"We very well might." And Arete, for the first time in a while, kind of smiles.
Tau & Amanda
Awwww.
Michael
And I don't know what it is directly in front of them on the feast table, but I assume it's like there's like a large leg of mutton and he just kind of picks it up and just chomps down into it.
Tau
Excellent. As this is going on. If you want to ask more questions of the Androsphinx, like about it or what its deal is, it'll answer them for you.
Giancarlo
"So Androsphinx. What's your deal?"
Tau
So the Androsphinx, in its own voice, tells you a couple of things. Outwardly gruff and downcast, it often begins conversations with insults or negative observations. Beneath this gruff exterior, however, an Androsphinx has a noble heart. It has no wish to lie or to deceive, but it doesn't give away information readily, choosing its words as wisely as it guards its secrets. An Androsphinx tests the courage and valor of supplicants not only by forcing them to complete quests, but also with its terrible roar, which echoes for miles as it terrifies and deafens nearby creatures. Those who pass his test may be rewarded with a hero's feast.
Nicholas
"If I may ask, Enigmatos, what does make a hero?"
Players
Androsphinx smiles and turns to answer you and as it does the hour finishes and it fades away.
Players
(Disappointed) Awwwwwww/ Noooooo.
Tau
Also, you see a gate to the next room. The globe in the gate shows a bag of coins again.
Giancarlo
"Ah, dinero."
Amanda
"Are we ready to go then, I guess?"
Michael
"Never like a time like the present."
Amanda
"Sweet, okay. A-Alex, are... you... good?"
Nicholas
"I'm ready."
Amanda
"Okay, just checking." And Annie's gonna go and just put her hand on the gate.
Tau
The bubble pops, the gate slides up, there is a swirling mass in front of you.
Michael
We cross the threshold.
Amanda
"See you on the other side."
Giancarlo
Feeling spry, Rolf is going to run into it, try to do a cool flip into it.
Tau
The three of you have gone in. Alexander, you're still there.
Nicholas
Alexander goes in.
[SFX: Portal swooshes.]
Tau
You arrive in a room very similar to the room with the casket where you bought items earlier. However, this time next to the casket stands a very tall, imposing, ghoulish looking figure in long purple ropes with a wide brimmed hat and a Ferryman’s oar. It gestures to you, it goes (low, deep, gravelly moan). It points a skeletal hand at its wares. You see a pomegranate...
[SFX: Chime.]
Tau
...which has 75 marked under it, you see gemstones...
[SFX: Chime.]
Tau
...which have 50 marked under them. You see a centaur heart...
[SFX: Chime.]
Tau
...which has 100 marked under it, you see darkness...
[SFX: Chime.]
Tau
... which has 50 marked under it you see taco and fries...
[SFX: Chime.]
Tau
... which has 25 under it, and that is what you see.
Giancarlo
"But I don't think we have much more money than we did last time."
Amanda
"Alex....? Would, can, are we gonna... Are we gonna spend that, um, those obols that... you... picked up?
Giancarlo
"Oh, dear, we only have like 20. What are you talking about??
Amanda
"Um, well, Alex, um."
Giancarlo
"Alex what? Spit it out, Annie. Are you all right?"
Giancarlo
Ann-Annie's looking at Alex, s he's trying to communicate with her eyes. And she's like, "Are you gonna... are you gonna say anything...?"
Nicholas
"Is there something you must purchase?"
Amanda
Well, I mean, yeah, I would think so."
Nicholas
"What would you like?"
Amanda
"I was thinking we could all maybe use a little boost on some health and, um, there's gemstones if, if we liked and there's pomegranate too."
Giancarlo
(with a pointed drama) "The palm could be fun, but we don't have enough money unfortunately."
Nicholas
"What is the number under the pomegranate and what is the number under the center heart?"
Tau
"Under the centaur heart is 100, under the pomegranate is 75."
Amanda
"We could technically do both."
Giancarlo
"Annie, what are you going on about? We don't have enough money." (holds back laughter)
Nicholas
Alexander pulls out 175 obols.
Giancarlo
(gasps)
Nicholas
And he also pulls out the purse so they see where it comes from. I guess I hand it to the purple cloak dude.
Tau
The purple cloak figure takes the coins, it holds up the coin slowly in front of its eyeless socket. It goes (deep, low, gravelly groan) and then it pockets the coins. And you now have a palm, so the palm is going to power up your Iris boon. So it goes up to Epic Rarity, which means now you get plus three AC when you do it.
Nicholas
Oooh my god.
Tau
So that is really powerful. You took the centaur heart, which means everybody gains additional temporary hit points equal to their maximum hit die roll plus their constitution modifier.
Nicholas
How much is the food?
Tau
The food is 25.
Amanda
"Alex...?"
Tau
Also, I don't know if this shapes your decision at all, in the next gate, the Globe you see is just a skull and crossbones.
Amanda
Oooh yeah.
Nicholas
Alex hands 25 for the food.
Tau
So whoever eats the food can roll a regular hit die and add their constitution modifier.
Nicholas
(chuckling) What does, how does he, I guess, does he hand me like a fucking McDonald's bag or something?
Tau
Yeah, you got a little McDonald's bag. It's got a taco and fries in it.
Giancarlo
"Alexander? We just ate, you're hungry again already?"
Nicholas
"I didn't. I didn't heal up all the way, I guess."
Tau
Alright, so do you eat it?
Nicholas
I hold it out for like offering.
Tau
Does anybody eat it?
Giancarlo
"I'm feeling 48 out of 64, how does everyone else feel?"
Amanda
Out of 64? Geez.
Michael
I'm feeling 59 out of 45?
Nicholas
Any takers?
Giancarlo
"I mean, I'll take it, I'm just wondering who needs it most?"
Michael
I don't need it. Somebody else take it.
Amanda
I don't think I do.
Tau
Alright Rolf, you eat it. Roll a hit die and add your constitution modifier.
Giancarlo
(makes devouring noises) That's full hit points for me.
Nicholas
I hand Arete the rest of the money.
Michael
"I'd like some darkness, please."
Tau
Okay, it costs 75 for you to get 50 darkness.
Michael
"We've got 45 left to spend, everyone, and remember we lose the obols when we die."
Tau
You do that, you've bought your stuff. Charon seems pleased with these coins that you've got.
Michael
"Thank you, oh, crosser of the water." And then I walked past him and I put my hand on the gate to open up the little skull and crossbones death gate.
Tau
The gate slides up and there is an inky black darkness.
Michael
"See you on the other side!" and I walk in.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Giancarlo
I follow.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Nicholas
I walk towards the portal, I look back to me to see if she's coming along.
Amanda
Annie's gonna just thank Charon. And be like, "Thank you so much."
Tau
(deep, low, gravelly groan)
Amanda
She's gonna (laughs) she's gonna walk over the portal.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Tau
Okay, so Annie's in the portal, Alexander?
Nicholas
Goes in.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Tau
The room around you houses two massive pillars in the center left and center right of the room, both of which are accompanied by metal grates on both sides of them, about 30 feet apart from each other. A beautiful blue skinned woman stands imposingly in the center of the room. She draws a hot pink whip and cracks it. (sultry whisper) "You're not getting out of here alive, wretches."
Giancarlo
"Technically we're, we're not alive as is but you know, I-I take your meeting. Hello! And you must be..." and I'm gonna roll, what, history? To see if I know who she is.
Tau
Sure.
Giancarlo
Well, that's a five so "Hi, I'm Rolf. And you are?"
Tau
This is a face you've seen in the bar, a lot of times, you know when you were working in the House of Hades. And just for whatever reason, maybe she always ordered from somebody other than you or just couldn't be bothered with you, you just couldn't put together who it was.
Amanda
I would love to roll.
Nicholas
Yeah.
[SFX Dice rolls.]
Michael
As would Arete.
Nicholas
19.
Michael
Oh nat 20, plus one.
Amanda
I got an 11.
Tau
10 and above you know that this woman is named Megara. And she is considered one of the Erinyes, which are also called the Furies. And that she used to battle many times against Lord Zagreus when he was trying to escape the Underworld. People who have 15 or better know that she is actually one of three furys who share their duties of preventing people from escaping the Underworld. Arete, what you also know is that each of them specializes in a very specific type of sin that they punish or you know, relish in punishing and Megara's is jealousy and envy.
Michael
Cool.
Tau
So that is what you know. Rolf, what did you say to her?
Giancarlo
I rolled a five so "My name is Rolf and you are...?"
Tau
"You don't even know. You don't stand a chance." She makes to attack you, so roll initiative.
Giancarlo
"Very cool. That's very intimidating of you, miss mystery person." It's a FIVE for initiative as well.
Michael
I got you beat with my four for initiative.
Amanda
Ooo, Annie rolled a 10 for initiative.
Nicholas
And I have an 18 for initiative.
Amanda
(whispers) Nice.
Tau
Okay, so very first up is Megara, the fury. Her giant black dark purple wing unfurls, she moves directly into the middle of all of you
[SFX: Wing swipe.]
Tau
And first she is going to swipe with her wing at you, Rolf.
Giancarlo
"Oh no."
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
She gets a 14, does that hit?
Giancarlo
"It does my armor class is 11, I'm fragile."
Nicholas
Oh-oh-oh! Do do--
Giancarlo
"Iris! Iris! I entreat you, you've healed everyone else but me. Please, Iris!"
Tau
Okay, you entreat Iris and you impose disadvantage on the attack as a rainbow light
[SFX: bright chime.]
Tau
...tries to protect you. Oh, okay, so now at this time, it's only a 12.
Giancarlo
Okay, that still beats it but I get plus three with the boons so. Ohhhh, yes!
Tau
Okay, so that means that her wing attack misses and she kind of just shrugs like no matter as she follows up with a vicious whip attack. And the way this whip attack works is she levitates up into the air. And then she swipes her whip at everybody around her so fast that it's almost imperceptible, it kind of just makes this like hot pink haze around everybody. And she gets a...
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
15 and this is against everybody in the group,
Michael
"Iris! I entreat thee!"
[SFX: Bright chime. Low, energetic music fades in.]
Giancarlo
Everyone in unison goes, "Iris!"
Tau
Well, her other one was in that 20. So we're going with the 15. Annie and Rolf, you both take 10 slashing damage.
Annie & Rolf
(cries out in pain)
Giancarlo
And Rolf embraces Annie and just screams.
Players
(laugh and cry out)
Nicholas
While she is swinging with her whip, I would like to duck under that whip and stab her twice with the Daedalus boon, give me another attack, hopefully.
[SFX: Dice clatters.]
Nicholas
That's a 22.
Tau
That certainly hits.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Nicholas
24.
Tau
That also hits.
Nicholas
So 12.
Tau
So you duck under this whip, you slash and stab two times and get a couple of good hits in on her. Annie, you are up. But in between these turns, something happens.
Amanda
(nervous) Uhhh....
Tau
So Megara is going to look at you, Annie, and she does this squat as if she's getting ready to do a panther pounce, she's going to lunge at you, and she is going to make an attack at you. However, if you take a dash or a disengage action at the start of your turn, you can evade that attack entirely. Otherwise she's gonna make the attack. But she is lunging at you right now in a straight line. What are do you doing, Annie?
Amanda
I'm dashing, I'm moving from that spot.
Tau
Okay, she dashes straight into the pillar and hits it and that pillar rumbles a little bit and she kind of leaps off of it and is going to lunge directly at you, Rolf. So the way this works is if you take the dodge or the disengage action at the start of your turn, you can evade the attack entirely. Otherwise she's going to try to make an attack at you at the start of your turn.
Giancarlo
"Respect your elders, woman! I'm going to dash behind the pillar on the other side of what you just smashed into."
Tau
Okay,
Giancarlo
"And that's it. Good luck friends! I can't do anything else. That's my action."
Tau
So you dash, she dashes towards you.
[SFX: Woosh.]
Tau
And ends up actually crashing into the wall behind you. Before you can take your turn, Arete, she is going to lunge at you. So again, you can take the dash or the disengage action to completely evade damage or you can try to take the hit and then continue to do other things on your turn.
Michael
I go ahead and use the cunning action to take a bonus action to dash out of the way.
Tau
She has lunged past you towards that pillar, but she didn't crash into it.
Michael
As I dash out of the way, I do a slide, and stab my sword into the ground to pivot towards her. And I rush at her and I use a stabbing action. It is a 19.
Tau
That hits.
Michael
Arete does eight piercing damage.
Tau
She obviously didn't like that. She's annoyed at how many times she's missing these people. So actually she is going to squat again and her wing is going to come out in front of her, and she is going to start swinging her wing in these rapid circular flapping motions. And this volley of dark pink energy motes starts flying out in a cone towards Annie, Alexander, and Arete. I'm going to need y'all to make dexterity saving throws as these pink energy balls just fly out of this cone volley at you.
Nicholas
Dammit.
Michael
Saving roll for Arete was 12.
Nicholas
Three for Alexander.
Amanda
That's a dirty 20.
Tau
Annie, when you dodge out of the way, you don't take any damage from this. You see this volley of motes coming at you, and you seem to be able to space yourself like just left or just right as each separate wave comes in and very deftly maneuver away from that.
Giancarlo
"Well done, Annie!"
Amanda
"Thank the gods."
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
Alexander and Arete, you do get pelted by the volley and you each take only five force damage.
Giancarlo
"Good try, Alex and Arete.
Michael
"Thanks Rolf, really appreciate the cheerleading. Now if you could pick up a weapon and do something."
Giancarlo
"I have magics! Okay, otherwise I'm just going to be tickling this fine, blue lady and I don't think she would appreciate. Okay, I-I'll wait my turn."
Tau
She's gonna use her movement and she's just going to fly back to directly in the middle of y'all again.
Nicholas
Okay, I'll do another double stabaroo. That's a 17.
Tau
That does hit.
[SFX: Dice clatters.]
Nicholas
17.
Tau
That hits again.
Nicholas
Yes. Okay, so 19 damage this time.
Tau
So you get two really strong thrusts and uh, her, that sounds awkward.
Giancarlo
Yeah, baby!
Tau
She grits her teeth and she seems to only speak through gritted teeth but especially now she's just looks supremely frustrated with you.
Nicholas
How far are those grates?
Tau
There is a grate that is 25 feet from you and there is a grate that is 15 feet from you.
Nicholas
Can I go, run around so that the 15 feet away one is in between me and Meg?
Tau
You can get not quite around but like just to the corner.
Nicholas
Okay.
Tau
As you do that she's going to make an opportunity attack against you with her whip.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
Only a 14
Nicholas
Yeah, I'm good. I shield that away.
[SFX: Whip swoosh.]
Tau
You want to have nothing to do with it so you keep moving. Then she is going to lunge at Annie again so Annie she is making to lunge at you.
Amanda
No! I'll call on Iris to just bless me please.
[SFX: Bright chime.]
Tau
She's gonna crash down and charge at you. She gets a critical miss, so she goes flying straight at the pillar again and I'm gonna say on a critical miss,
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
She also takes some bludge-- a sizable amount of bludgeoning damage. So she crashes into that pillar. That pillar is now only 10 feet tall.
Amanda
Annie would like to use song of apathy on Meg. She would pull out her viol, she'd play a little scratching noise and Meg has to make a wisdom saving throw.
[SFX: A grating scrape of the viol.]
Tau
Okay, can you describe song of apathy since this is a feature that we created for this game
Amanda
The target, if they fail the saving throw, their attack roles are reduced by the amount that I roll on the die for the duration of the song and the song is, it'll last for a minute.
Tau
She gets a 17
Amanda
Ahh! No! Quit it! Okay, so as a bonus action, I would like to use bardic inspiration on Alex.
[SFX: Cheery viol notes.]
Amanda
You gain inspiration by 1d6 for 10 minutes, you can add it to an ability check, attack role or a saving throw. After I cast bardic inspiration, I would like to run to hide behind the closest pillar.
Tau
The closest pillar is the pillar Meg is at.
Amanda
I would like to just you know, man, I'm gonna I'm gonna go behind it.
Tau
After your turn, she has this bracer or on her wrist. She's gonna lean to her brace and she's gonna roll her eyes and under her breath "Requesting backup."
Giancarlo
What?! No! No!
Amanda
Yeah, that sounds correct.
Tau
And three Wretched Goons appear. Arete, one appears adjacent to you.
Michael
"Lovely."
Tau
Alexander another appears adjacent to you. And Rolf, she can't see you but she summons one adjacent to where you're standing.
Giancarlo
God dammit.
Tau
So as a reminder, the Wretched Goons are the ones that you didn't technically ever have to fight them because you did the stealth challenge through them. But they're these big hulking brutes that carry these large blunt weapons.
Giancarlo
Faaaah. Alright, Rolf is gonna pop out behind the pillar and say--
Tau
You can't, there's a wretched goon standing in the way.
Giancarlo
Rolf is going to shout from behind the pillar and go, "Blue lady, listen! You seem very nice. You didn't introduce yourself. I would love to get to know you. But you are hurting my friends." and the blood begins to course through his veins as he draws another blood crystal.
Michael
Yeeees!
Giancarlo
And he's going to use that to cast firebolt on her. Rolf doesn't really get mad but he certainly get a little upset. So you see the veins around his like bicep bulge first and you can see the crystal forming in his veins as it works its way up to his wrist and comes out and ignites the fire in his palm, making it grow in size and changing color to a vibrant red as it pushes out towards her. And that is a 22 to hit.
Tau
Alright, first of all that was hot. Tell me more about his 64 year old sinewy biceps.
Nicholas
Yeeah baby.
Tau
But yes, that certainly hits.
Giancarlo
And the damage with the blood crystal, I think, as it flies onto her and explodes, you see the fire kind of enrapture her, dealing seven points of damage as it runs along the side of her face.
Tau
It does that and also on the side of her face, you see that blood crystal lodged in her skin now.
Nicholas
Nice.
Giancarlo
Rolf is just going to bunker in place and hope that Iris has his back for this goon as he he just stares at him and shakes a little bit.
Michael
Seeing the chaos unfolding around him, Arete, will take a bonus action to use deathshroud.
Tau
Yeees! Finally, I've been waiting for this ability
Michael
As a grave marker, if I'm not within bright lights, I can immediately make myself invisible until the end of my turn. And then using any action, reaction, or inflicting damage breaks the visibility immediately as does moving into bright lighting. So with the light slightly shimmering around Arete, there is a sudden pop and he's gone. Arete will quietly sneak towards Meg to perform a staggering sweep attack.
Tau
Okay, so what is a staggering sweep?
Michael
I make an unarmed attack with a guaranteed sneak attack damage. If it hits the target and is not flying and is at most one size larger than me, it must make a dexterity saving throw or fall prone. The DC for the maneuver is 12.
Tau
I will say dexterity is her thing. She gets a 23
Michael
Lovely, great great great great great, cool cool cool cool cool.
Tau
But I mean she is caught unawares so she goes "Woah." And then she kind of just like quickly leaps up as you emerge from this shroud right next to her and sweep into the pillar.
[SFX: Hard metal clink.]
Michael
I will use my deadlift spoon to perform a second attack, a regular short sword.
Tau
Nice.
Michael
It is a 16.
Tau
That hits.
Michael
So I do three piercing damage. Arete, seeing that the staggering sweep has failed, he draws the infernal arm and thrusts it towards Meg, hitting her in the side.
[SFX: Shhhink.]
Tau
She looks down at that and you see her like very arched eyebrow raise an alarm a little bit like oh, fuck these guys have infernal arms. Make an insight roll
Michael
18.
Tau
Okay, you get the sense that she hates these things. It is almost as if she has been felled by these things hundreds of times.
Michael
"So Meg, you recognize this, huh? I guarantee it's gonna give you a big problem."
Tau
"It's smaller than I remember it."
Michael
Damn.
Giancarlo
(laughs)
Tau
Megara is going to leap and that she's gonna levitate in the air again, and her whip is swinging all around her but it's actually like not a whip attack that's happening. It's almost as if she's like casting some sort of spell. Everybody so Alexander, Annie, Rolf, and Arete. Underneath you you see these massive 20 foot radius dark circles appear with this kind of like hot pink outline. And it looks like these are kind of like these magical mines that are about to explode under you. You need to all make dexterity saving throws.
Nicholas
Oh thank god, natural 20.
Tau
Hell yeah.
Amanda
Also natural 20, putting me at a 24.
Giancarlo
10.
Michael
Arete rolled a nine.
Tau
Annie and Alexander, you see these massive circles appear under you and you still managed to cover their radius enough to very quickly dodge out of the way and you take no damage as the circles explode in this hot pink eruption of light.
[SFX: Small explosion.]
Tau
For people who failed the saving throw, end up taking 19 force damage.
Players
Oo hoo, oh!
Tau
Furthermore, immediately all of these circles appear under you again.
Nicholas
Wow.
Tau
So everybody makes dexterity saving throws again.
Nicholas
Damn
Amanda
Dammit!
Giancarlo
Rolf flies up into the air with the force of the explosion and shouts as he reaches the apex, "FIFTEEN." (grunts)
Tau
With that 15, you actually fell just outside of the second explosion.
Giancarlo
(coughs)
Michael
Arete having caught wise, rolled a 22.
Amanda
What?
Michael
And now knows Meg's little tricks and as he was cast into the air, does a flip...
[SFX: Swoosh]
Michael
And then lands dexterously outside the rim of the new circle.
Nicholas
After clearing the first explosion, he does not expect at all a second one and gets a one.
Tau
You take 19 force damage.
[SFX: Small explosion.]
Amanda
I dodged the first one. This second one I rolled in 11.
Tau
You take 19 bludgeoning damage.
Giancarlo
"Annie!"
Tau
Does what I think happens happen?
Amanda
Yeah, yeah it does.
Giancarlo
"Nooooo!"
Tau
Alright, Anastasia, the large pink pillar of force energy erupts underneath you. It's almost as if a fist is coming up from below it and just shoves you straight into the air, and then yanks you straight back down. But when you go back down, nobody sees your body go anywhere because they don't see it hit the ground. It just goes like into blackness and a splash of blood just flies everywhere.
Amanda
(croaks out sounds)
[SFX: A wet smack and splash.]
Giancarlo
"Anniiiie!!!!!"
Michael
"Anastasia, nooo!"
Tau
Everybody sees these circles appear underneath them again, this is another dexterity saving throw.
Giancarlo
"Annie, I don't have the strength to go on."
Giancarlo
"Except I do because I rolled a 20 and I'm going to continue moving in the direction of the northern grate."
{SFX: Dice rolls.]
Michael
(gasps)
Tau
(laughing) You like, through all your tears, behind these hazel eyes, you're just making it happen.
Michael
Arete, completely distraught, rolled an 11 on this saving throw.
Tau
Okay, you take 19 damage.
[SFX: Small explosion.]
Nicholas
Alexander, prone, is not able to recover from the big hit. And then when he looks, he's looking at the ground already and he sees the purple coming and he gets another One.
Tau
Oh my gosh. Okay, so you take another 19 damage.
[SFX: Small explosion.]
Tau
And this barrage of attacks seems endless as more circles open up underneath you. Everybody make dexterity saving throws.
Nicholas
Oh my god.
Amanda
No!
Giancarlo
That's a 15 from Rolf.
Tau
Okay, Rolf succeeds again. I'm pushing you 10 more feet towards the grate.
Giancarlo
I hide in the corner and WEEP.
Nicholas
Alexander slams his fist on the ground and starts running towards the, the... 18
Tau
Hell yeah.
Michael
Arete, having watched Annie be blown to smithereens, and watching as devastation rains around, he rolls in eight. He closes his eyes and waits for death.
Giancarlo
No!
Tau
Ever graceful, even in death. The grave marker closes his eyes as the circle opens under him. All around him, that pillar just engulfs this serene man.
[SFX: Crash.]
Tau
As it yanks him into the blackness and an explosion of blood flies out from the ground.
[SFX: Wet smack and splash.]
Giancarlo
(Emotional) "Arete! No. Alexander!! Kill her!"
Tau
Anyway, that concludes her turn, um.
Players
(laugh)
Tau
Now it's the Goons' turn. So the Goons are going to chase after you, Rolf. The Goon closest to you ,Rolf, needs to dash to reach you so it can't harm you. The Goon behind Alexander moves its full movement speed 20 feet and moves toward Alexander. It is going to swing its massive club at you.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
It's a critical miss, so it just wipes its club and just smashes into the stone tile next to you cracking it.
Tau
Then the one closest to where Arete was standing, moves to the other side of Alexander. So you're flanked by these Wretched Goons now. That one is also going to make an attack at you, it gets the 17. Does that hit?
[SFX: Whump.]
Nicholas
It does not hit.
Tau
So both of those miss. That concludes all the Wretched Goons turn.
Nicholas
Alexander is going to jump up and grab her leg as she's like coming down.
Tau
Okay, you're gonna draw two opportunity attacks. Is that okay?
Nicholas
Yeah, that's the only way I can attack or I guess so. Yeah.
Tau
One is an 11 and the other is 22.
Giancarlo
"Iris! Protect me for the second one." (laughs)
Tau
Alright, shimmering light flashes on to the club.
[SFX: Bright chime.]
Tau
Unfortunately, it's still got the 22 because the roll I just made was a nat 20.
Nicholas
With the AC given by Iris, it is a 23 for me.
Tau
Hell yeah, nice. It's startled by its own club and (deep) "Wooaa". You are adjacent to Megara right now.
Nicholas
As she's coming down, he's gonna jump up and grab her leg and then step twice into her with the long sword.
Giancarlo
"Put that bitch on a pike, Alex!"
Tau
Oh, my goodness.
Nicholas
That would be a 14?
Tau
That does not hit.
Nicholas
Can I use bardic inspiration?
Tau
Yes! You can. Bardic inspiration can still be used if the Bard is no longer in play, right?
Amanda
Um, yeah, I was thinking about that. And I'm not, you, I'm really not sure. (laughs)
Tau
I'm gonna assume you were inspired by her heroism. Yeah, I'm gonna say you can still do it.
Amanda
Word, I like it.
Nicholas
A one, so 15.
Tau
That is just not enough to land the hit. You feel like you needed one more.
Nicholas
One more attack.
[SFX: Dice clatters.]
Nicholas
Damn, the dice failed us. That's a 13.
Tau
After that, Megara is going to lunge towards Rolf.
[SFX: Woosh.]
Giancarlo
"Fuck you, lady." and I'm going to cast the witch bolt at her, I'm not going to run.
Tau
Hell yeah.
Giancarlo
As I say that, I'm going to back up as far as I can from Meg without drawing opportunity attack from the Goon and throw that witch bolt in her face.
Tau
You shove yourself back against the eastern wall. You say fuck you lady and you fire this witch bolt so roll that out for me.
Giancarlo
God damn it. That's a... 14.
Tau
That does not hit. It fires in this arc but you're a little distracted and emotional and it goes like just over her shoulder.
[SFX: A stuttering boom.]
Tau
She kind of just jerks her head to the left and you catch like a few strands of her silvery hair and she just smirks.
Giancarlo
"Well Alex, we, we tried."
Tau
She is actually going to lunge towards Alexander.
Nicholas
I let her come to me so I can attack her if she doesn't land the hit.
Tau
Okay so because you are not dodging, dashing, or disengaging she's gonna make a wing attack as she lunges at you.
[SFX: A woosh and the dice clatters.]
Tau
She gets a 19.
Nicholas
Uh, does not hit. Here... we... go. With Daedalus by my side.
[SFX: Dice clatters.]
Nicholas
That's a 24.
Tau
That hits.
Nicholas
That would be a 16.
Tau
Okay, so both of those hit.
Nicholas
I would like to make that a divine smite attack. Meg has just flown overhead swiping at Alexander, he shielded himself. He tracks her the whole way with his eyes and as soon as he lands he runs up, jumps into the air and wants to Superman stab her right into the chest with a lightning bolt.
Giancarlo
The might of Zeus, baby!
Nicholas
(laughing) The might of Zeus.
Tau
Okay.
Nicholas
Is she a fiend?
Tau
As a bonus action this turn you can roll to try to take a best guess at what she is.
Nicholas
13?
Tau
Yeah, she's a fiend.
Nicholas
Hell yes. Let's get a rollin', folks, get the calculator. Get your pen and pencils, get your popcorn.
Giancarlo
(laughs)
Nicholas
[SFX: A cascade of dice rolls, clattering one after the other.]
Tau
I love that sound.
Nicholas
Okay.
[SFX: Claps, rubs hands together.]
Nicholas
That... would be 32 damage to Meg.
Tau
Holy fucking shit.
Nicholas
16 of that would be radiant. 16 that would be slashing.
Tau
Are you invoking any deity when you do this smite?
Nicholas
"The might of Zeus." I'm going to call upon who I believe is my father.
Tau
Hell yeah. I'm gonna award inspiration just for, you know, doing that in character. And she takes a ton of damage as you do this massive stab into her.
[SFX: Visceral slash.]
Tau
The radiant energy making all of these little like light capillaries through her skin as it's hurting her. So you did a ton of damage. And she looks about a third as strong as she did when the fight started. So I mean, she's in bad shape.
Nicholas
(laughing) Shit.
Tau
Rolf, you are up. She is going to lunge toward you. I don't think she can make it though. So she gets to that space that's 10 feet away from you again. Also, she's moved out of your attack range, Alexander, if you want to make an opportunity attack.
Nicholas
Yes. I would like to make an opportunity attack. That's a 16.
Tau
That hits exactly.
Nicholas
(relieved) Hoooo.
Giancarlo
(laughs)
Nicholas
Do not run from me, you wretch.
Tau
"Who are you calling a wretch?"
Nicholas
As he turned around, he will slice a long sword at her neck for seven damage.
Nicholas
Ouch. Okay, yeah, I mean, she's looking bad.
Giancarlo
Rolf is going to try to move again to try and kind of lure her towards the grate. And as he backed up, he's going to look at the crystal lodged in her cheek and says, "You like that? My friend Surtr isn't done with you yet!" And he's going to cast forth firebolt from his hands. "And that's a 21, baby!"
Tau
That hits.
Giancarlo
"All right."
Tau
Y'all are really gonna go to Asphodel your first fucking run.
Giancarlo
"And that's a two for damage." (laughs)
[SFX: Fwoosh.]
Tau
I mean, damage is damage every bit helps. Okay. Do you do anything else on your turn?
Giancarlo
"Let's finish this, Alexander. We have friends to free."
Tau
So on her turn, she is going to float up into the air and she's going to start whipping her whip around again in that casting motion. Could I please get dexterity saving throws from Rolf and Alexander as these massive purple and pink mines appear under you?
Giancarlo
That's a 19.
Tau
That succeed so Rolf do want to move 10 feet in any direction?
Giancarlo
Yes.
Tau
Where?
Giancarlo
Away, what are my options?
Tau
You're backed up against the wall at the most distal point from her but you could move sideways.
Giancarlo
I will do that.
Nicholas
How high does the explosion go?
Tau
An irrelevant amount if you get hit by it.
Nicholas
I'm thinking like if I can climb the pillar or something.
Tau
That's actually very clever. So they go 20 feet high.
Nicholas
"Old man, this may be up to you."
Giancarlo
"No, don't say that Alex."
Nicholas
I'm gonna use my inspiration to roll again.
Tau
Okay.
Nicholas
14.
Tau
Okay, uh, so .
[SFX: Dice clatters.]
Giancarlo
No, oh no.
Nicholas
No, no.
Tau
Alexander, it finally clicks to you. Oh, these pillars have a purpose and the master tactician in you, starts making for this pillar but just a moment too late as this massive circle opens under you and erupts with a pillar of force.
[SFX: Fwoosh.]
Tau
That deals 19 force damage. As you do this, that flicker of inspiration is engulfed by a massive pillar of pink energy, Alexander, as you are yanked back into the ground and another pillar of blood just gushes out from the ground.
[SFX: Visceral smash.]
Giancarlo
(crying out) "Alexanderrrr!"
Tau
No rest for the bereaved, Rolf, because another mine is opening directly under you and prompting a dexterity saving throw.
Giancarlo
That's a 14.
Tau
Another pillar opens underneath you, the mine explodes, dealing 19 bludgeoning damage.
Giancarlo
(cries out) Can I try and do what Alexander wanted to do and hurl myself towards a pillar while I fly through the air?
Tau
You could do that if you succeed.
Giancarlo
Oh, okay. Okay, gotcha.
Tau
Which you might on this next one because another mine is appearing underneath you right now.
Giancarlo
"Odin... Zeus... whoever's out there--"
Tau
Oh now everybody wants to appeal to the gods, okay.
Giancarlo
"Give me one good reason to believe you aren't just a bunch of bastards." (yelling) 20!! "With the dexterity of Loki, and the might of Odin, and the lightning of Thor, I fly!"
Tau
So Rolf, in order to move you to the closest pillar, I would have to put you on a grate which I don't think is what you want.
Giancarlo
No.
Tau
So I'm gonna move you just slightly to the left of the grate.
Giancarlo
That's fine with me
Tau
But you get hurled into the air, you avoid it, and you land on your feet somehow, wild with desperation. Your hot sexagenarian muscles twitching as you try to scramble to your feet and another mine opens up underneath.
Giancarlo
No! I thought it was three.
Tau
"No, it's four, always has been." Meg says pointing a gun at you.
Players
(laughs)
[SFX: The music grows more epic in nature.]
Giancarlo
And Rolf... rolled a 15.
Tau
Meets it. Beats it.
Giancarlo
(gasps, makes unintelligble sounds of excitement)
Nicholas
(laughs)
Giancarlo
As he dodges out of the way, you see a lightning course through his veins for a second as he cartwheels just to the side still trying to stay out of Meg's range.
Tau
Her spell is winding down, her wing like tightly held to her. It's kind of like, you know what, like an ice skater like when they want to like pick up their speed while they're spinning like move their limbs closer to their body? It's kind of like she's like doing that and like now she's slowing down so like she's slowly unfurling that wing as she's gyrating. It's kind of just like wing cocoon slowly descending to the ground. That concludes her turn. The Wretched Goons are up. The one closest to Megara is gonna move adjacent to you, Rolf, and make an attack roll. It's gonna go (low grunt) and it gets an 18 to attack.
Giancarlo
"Iris! Please do not fail me now."
Tau
You plead to Iris, it seems the gods are on your side. As the light intervenes...
[SFX: Bright chime.]
Tau
It only gets an eight this time.
Giancarlo
Yes!
Nicholas
Wow.
Tau
The other two Wretched Goons need to dash to get anywhere close to you.
Giancarlo
"Do not let me fall to these Goons. I owe my friends better than that." And Rolf is just pleading, like draws all the force within him, all the fountain of magic he has, and channels it into one desperate attempt as he he channels Surtr or Ares, whoever it is, he pleads out into this void that he no longer understands and casts forward a fountain of flame... (disappointed) with an 11.
Tau
Okay make a religion check.
Giancarlo
A 15.
Tau
We're gonna say with this one desperate plea you are able to make that attack with advantage.
Giancarlo
Oh! That's an 18!
Tau
That hits.
Giancarlo
Okay. And I think you see, Rolf is like maybe I don't know like avoiding the slash processing something having seen three people just burst into blood. He has not dealt with these things before and so he is fueled by an anger that he has not necessarily tangled with in his life. So he draws from deep within almost like a like a martial artist drawing from their their base stance to power up an attack but it's a it's a deeper guttural flame as his eyes almost glow a little bit and this time he breathes the flame out onto her for nine points of fire damage, igniting that crystal stuck in her cheek.
Tau
Okay, so she definitely feels that.
Players
(laugh in relief)
Tau
You breathed this fire onto her and all of her cool, calm, collected facade is like god, she's furious. As the fire fades away, you see her hair is burned, the crystal is radiating on her cheek. Her eyes are mad with rage and she is not pleased and she seems in very bad shape. Is there anything else you want to do on your turn.
Nicholas
Climb.
Giancarlo
Oh oh oh, can I climb the pillar?
Tau
You are 25 feet from the nearest pillar. I would say you would have to make a very hard athletics check to climb it.
Giancarlo
But it will draw the opportunity attack, correct?
Tau
Certainly.
Nicholas
Oh.
Giancarlo
Rolf crosses his fingers and makes a bolt for the pillar and is going to attempt to climb it.
Tau
Okay, you're gonna draw two opportunity attacks. One from Megara.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
Who gets a 23
Giancarlo
"Iris!"
Tau
[SFX: Bright chime then dice rolls.]
Tau
Only a 14.
Giancarlo
(relieved breath) Oh god okay, I was like that hits but no, plus three. Okay, it just barely misses.
Tau
That is such a good boon, ya'll.
Giancarlo
It just barely misses.
Tau
So she lashes at you thinking she's gonna catch you but she just barely misses as this like radiant rainbow light flashes in her eyes and she is just fed up with. And then the Goon is going to attempt to make an opportunity attack against you, it critical fails.
Giancarlo
(laughs triumphantly)
Tau
You are at the pillar. If you want to climb the pillar on this turn, give me the best athletics check you've got.
Giancarlo
I've only got a plus one, so here we go... Five.
Tau
You scramble to the pillar and you are at least there. It is Magara's turn. She says "No more games." And then she is going to fly straight adjacent to Rolf. She is then going to make a wing attack against you.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
24
Giancarlo
(disappointed) And I can't call on Iris. So... "I'll be back."
Tau
She slashes her wing upward, and launches your body upward. You're suspended in the air for a moment is your blood flies everywhere and you just hear a sound and just goes, (musically) "Dun... dun.. Dadunnnn." And you are yanked back into the ground as your body flows into the blood of the rivers of Hades. And that will conclude our encounter.
[SFX: A flowing river fades in then fades away, replaced by energetic music.]
Tau
ROGUE RUNNERS Volume 1: In the Blood stars our players Nicholas Benetatos as Alexander the Great, Amanda Facosta as Anastasia Pantazis, Giancarlo Herrera as Rolf Yannik, and Michael Pisani as Arete Laskaris. Dungeon mastering and NPC voices are by Tau Zaman. Cover art by Chandler Candela. Sound design and edited by Giancarlo Herrera. Title music by Sage G.C. with vocals by Jessica Dahlgren and Sage G.C. Character Theme Music by Giorgio Volpe. Additional music by Epidemic Sound. If you liked what you heard, we hope you'll consider helping us make future tabletop parodies of your favorite stories. You can support us at patreon on patreon.com/roguerunradio. Patrons get access to our community discord Channel, as well as our behind the scenes chat cast Out of the Blood where we talk about everything on our minds after the episode. There are free ways to support the show too. We hope you'll leave us a glowing review on your listening app of choice as well as spread the good word about us on Twitter and Instagram where you can follow us @ROGUERUNradio. We love hearing from you. So hit us up there or email us at rr@whisperforge.org. We're very proud to be in The Whisperforge collective and hope you'll check out our other shows. We think you'll love the Far Meridian, a gorgeous and heartfelt audio drama about places unknown and memories resurfaced. Are you ready for your next run? Then you can listen to our next episode right now. It's already out. ‘Til next time sinners, I'll see you in hell.
[SFX: Title music.]
“Escape...escape...escape...escape…”