Volume 1: In the Blood Ep. 25 - The Kiss of Apollo
TRANSCRIPT - In the Blood Ep. 25 - The Kiss of Apollo
Tau
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Tau
You’re listening to a parody that is not affiliated with or endorsed by Supergiant Games in any way, we’re just big ol’ nerds making improv fanfiction.
ROGUE RUNNERS is...rated R, for pretty much everything you can find in Greek Mythology: violence, assault, self-harm, offensive language, insensitive humor, and intense themes. We encourage everyone to check out our show notes and transcripts on our website at Whisperforge.org. Are you ready to run? Then welcome to Volume 1: In the Blood.
[SFX: Intro music.]
[SFX: Gently moving water and birdsong.]
Tau
On the other side of the portal, you find yourself in, I guess the Greek version of bleachers?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(small laugh)
Tau
So like kind of like the Coliseum, there are these like many, many tiers going down into an arena. And you are in those tiers surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of shades on all sides and some humanoid people. So some people are also not shades but most of them are shades and everybody's cheering...
[SFX: A cheering crowd fades in.]
Tau
...and there is a booming voice from the center of the arena. (like through a microphone) "For those of you just joining us, the UFC is underway, the Underworld Fighting championships!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
Woah.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(excited) Oh my god.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(gasps)
Amanda (Annie)
(laughs softly)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
How was I right in both ways?
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughs excitedly)
Tau
"Right now in the arena, we have the Olympiad of Nausicaa, Cinth, Icarus, and Daphne versus Theseus!" and you see Theseus in the middle of the arena, and he's saying, "Have at me, blaggard!" and he is charging with a lance towards Cinth and Cinth just holds up a hand and an invisible barrier just shatters the javelin as Theseus crashes into it.
[SFX: Crunch! Theseus groans.]
Tau
And then from behind, you see Daphne hold up her hand and she begins to levitate, as all these roots come out of the ground...
[SFX: Roots scrape and coil.]
Tau
... underneath Daphne and wrap around her. And then she uses these giant like tree limbs that are extending from her to smash Theseus into the ground.
[SFX: Thumping wham!]
Tau
And as she does this, there is this giant fountain of blood that emerges from it that swallows him up...
[SFX: Splort!]
Tau
...and drags him into the ground. And then you hear one of those bells that you hear like a wrestling match that goes like ding ding!
[SFX: Metallic DING DING!]
Tau
"And the the winnes are the Olympiad!" And everybody roars in thunderous applause. And then you see these rose petals of pink and white and red just falling from the sky, like littering the entire arena as everybody cheers.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf pulls out two little cups and punctures an emergency pouch of chocolate milk and pours it.
[SFX: The milk splashes.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
They're like little wine goblets almost but wooden. And he sits in the jarls pose to watch and offers one to Annie.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie takes it, hesitantly. She's not happy about it.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Hey, if we just get to watch for this room, I'm all down for that."
Tau
So the crowd is dying down a little bit and then you see Icarus also down there and he runs a cool hand through his hair and wipes a bead of sweat from his brow and as he does this, he notices you up at the stand and he waves at you.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I-I wink at him.
Tau
He waves for you guys to come on down.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"All right."
Amanda (Annie)
"I don't think we have a choice."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf chugs his milk (gulp), puts the cup in his pack, and begins walking down.
Tau
Meanwhile, the Olympiad kind of moves away from the center of the arena, and they're moving into like, you know, those like tunnels like next arena...
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah.
Tau
...that like they come out of?
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah.
Tau
Like, they move towards that like, tunnel thing. I know a lot about sports. So they're all waiting for ya there.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeh, Rolf walks down and says, "Hey."
Michael (Arete)
"Hi, there."
Tau
Cinth is gonna nod over to Alexander and say, "Heh. Cool sword."
Nicholas (Alexander)
At that, Alexander will flourish so that the pedals like fall as he's like...
[SFX: He whips his sword through the air.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
At this, Nausicaa smiles and she says, "It's a work of art, wouldn't you say?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yes."
Michael (Arete)
"Yeah. They remind him of a pair of thighs.
Tau
(Nausicaa) "Would you care to elaborate?"
Michael (Arete)
"No, I would not."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Pleasure running into you. First time in Elysium, any tips as to what to expect?"
Tau
Icarus beams, and he says "Oh, so it's your first time in Elysium? Oh, it's gorgeous. I wish I could stay up here forever."
Michael (Arete)
"Why can't you?
Tau
"Weeeell, uh, you kinda gotta earn your right to stay. So... there's this thing going on... the UFC and um, well...hm."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"What's the wall? I know you've been bumping up against something. What is it?"
Tau
(sigh) "Oh gosh. I mean, if you really want to know, it's... (lowers voice) the boss."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Who is...?"
Tau
They all look at each other. It's like asking, like, who's President right now. And then Daphne goes, "Fine. I'll say it, Heracles."
Players
Psssh. Haha. (low outward breath)
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Of course."
Tau
"Yeah, that's the face I made too," Daphne smiles as she sees Alexander facepalm.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I don't want to bring a relative to death. But if I have to..."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"So I don't really know the rules of how all that works. I think we're all kind of already signed up as AN Olympiad. But maybe the next time we come through together, we can try doing it as a team or something? The way it works is we go into each of these gates, and it puts us where we're supposed to go next. There are already people watching."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I don't know what the rules are like, but if they let the Olympiad fight, can we team up?"
Tau
"Oh, I see. If you guys want to earn the right to compete, you're going to have to first go up into, I guess what they call it as like an exhibition match? We call it more of a miniboss."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I assume this is the only way out of Elysium, yes?"
Tau
"I mean, we've been trying to get out for a while if there was a better way we would have told ya."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(disappointed) "Yeah."
Tau
So at this point, Cinth leans back against a wall and crosses his arms over his chest. And he says, "So why are you guys trying to get out?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
(soft snort of laughter)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I think we all have some unfinished business to put it mildly. And you?"
Tau
They all look at each other and Nausicaa will say, "I suppose you could say we have unfinished business as well. So have you guys noticed like anything else? Really strange happening in the Underworld?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Have you run into the shadows?"
Tau
"Uhhh. Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about. So sometimes, thankfully, it didn't happen with Theseus, but sometimes when people die here, they come back as these... shadow versions. It's like having to kill somebody twice. It's pretty unfun. The crowd loves it, though."
[SFX: Energetic music fades in, its bass beat moving.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I'm going to look at the Olympiad my Olympiad as if to be like, "Should we tell them?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"They seem to know already."
Michael (Arete)
"Have you had to, uh... fight yourselves yet?"
Tau
Cinth will answer this, he'll say, "Yeah, we have, though none of us remember it when we turn. So."
Michael (Arete)
"Yeah, neither do we."
Tau
"Seems like things are going pretty bad down here so we're in a bit of a hurry to get out."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yeah. Well, we have a little information. I don't know what good it will do you. We haven't found a practical way to apply it. But there are some grander issues going on."
Tau
"Like what?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"(sighs, tired) Are you familiar with the Titans?"
Tau
"Uhh, yeah, a little familiar."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I have a feeling they're... not quite happy with their current position. According to Nyx, they seem to play some part in whatever's going on."
Tau
At this, you see, Nausicaa raises a finger to her chin. And this is like her thinking face, and she says, "I would imagine what we're seeing is a prototype of what could happen with the Titans. So when this blood coagulates, it's supposed to return back to the Styx, but instead it forms this shadow version of ourselves. What if the same thing is to happen to the Titans?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Very possible. And I would imagine that would spell destruction for everyone here in Hades, no?"
Tau
(Nausicaa) "If that is true, then is it really meet to try to... break out of here at all?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"How do you mean?"
Tau
"Would the Underworld not benefit from having as many defense mechanisms in place as possible?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"The Underworld already has defenses good enough to keep us in here. So I don't think we're going to make a huge difference."
Tau
"But you don't think the Titans would make a difference?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I don't think WE are going to be the deciding factor in stopping the Titans. However--"
Tau
"You wouldn't say that you are raking a small amount of destruction everywhere you go? I know we are."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Certainly, perhaps if we all teamed up that would be one thing. But the only way we manage to wreak as much destruction as we do is, I hate to say it, but... through the aid of Olympus. I will admit I'm not from around these parts. I don't know their history very well. I don't know how they get on with all of Hades. It seems they're very interested in helping us get out of here. But if you really want to help these people, I have a feeling Olympus would if you could sway them want a piece of this fight."
Tau
Cinth kind of grits his teeth for a moment and he says "Consider us not big fans of Olympus."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"To be fair, I just want to get out of here. But if I could help the people who haven't wronged me along the way, that's fine, too."
Tau
"What are you going to do when you get out?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Go for a walk. A really long walk."
[SFX: Silence from the Olympiads. Just the sound of gently moving water.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Oh, this is awkward."
Tau
They kind of just stare at you for a little bit. And then they look at each other and they kind of, it's almost as if they're like debating if they should say something and then they kind of like decide against it based on that answer.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Can't help you if you don't speak to me."
Michael (Arete)
"I wasn't sure if you were directing that question at us as a group or Rolf specifically...?"
Tau
"Yes. Tell us your aims. We know nothing about you."
Michael (Arete)
"Uh, hi, I'm Arete. I can't remember if I met you all before. I mean, everything blends together down here. But at any rate, when I get out of here, I'm, (soft sigh) I thought I knew what I wanted, but I'm not so sure anymore."
Tau
"We all know exactly what we want."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"And what's that?"
Tau
They seem pretty hesitant to say anything, but if you want to try to persuade them in some way, you can try.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Tell you what, I don't know how much help I am. I like to think I'm a relatively learned man, someone who appreciates a lot of different experiences. Clearly, the world is much larger than I once anticipated. I have a very specific aim when I get out of here, that won't take me very long."
Tau
"Well, that's quite different from taking a nice walk."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Not quite. But if I'm going to be granted extra life, I'm going to need to do something. If you told me whatever your aims are, and I'm not fundamentally opposed to them in some manner, perhaps I can be of assistance."
Tau
Make a persuasion check.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
15.
Tau
At this, they all kind of like breathing through their nose. They're just like (inhales), and then at the very least, it's as if Daphne and Nausicaa are like, telepathically communicating, and Daphne says, "It's not that we don't trust you. Well, I mean, we don't yet. But the thing that we want to do when we get up, it kind of borders on sacrilege."
[SFX: Low violin music plays.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Whoa, hey, guess what? I used to worship an entirely different set of gods. So...ppbt"
Michael (Arete)
After hearing that, Arete says, "You guys happen to run into Pelops at all?"
Tau
At this, Cinth smiles and he says, "Oh, fuck yeah, love him."
Michael (Arete)
"Had a feeling. Cast down the gods and whatnot, sounds like a fun plan."
Tau
Make a persuasion check with advantage.
Michael (Arete)
And both of them were terrible, but the one with advantage is a nine?
Tau
So Icarus frowns, and he says, "Mmm, I take it, you're not a fan of his."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"More like he wasn't a fan of ours. But I fully wanted to get it in on his shtick. In fact, wanted to help Hephaestus, we think is pretty badass. Furthermore, I understand he took it the wrong way, but we ran into his father, we were hoping to help him find some sort of closure. That guy has some baggage, let me tell you, understandably but."
Tau
So Cinth says, "Oh, fuck that guy. We ran into him too. And there is NO way we're helping him."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"It's less about helping him and it's more about offering Pelops the opportunity to at least know what's going on. You know?"
Tau
Nausicaa, still with her finger on her chin, says, "Do you know what Pelops intends to do?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Yes, I take it you also have a grievance with the gods as we do."
Tau
"I suppose you could say something of the sort."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Since you are so well acquainted with Pelops, I believe he gives you no trouble. We also have problems with the gods, but do you use boons?"
Tau
"Boons? No, we find them a little pedestrian, much like infernal arms."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
They didn't take it in the opening room, they just left. Remember?
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Well, we are on the same page then."
Tau
"Are we in fact on the same page, because I look at you now and you are all dripping with nine different colors of power emanating from you at all moments."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Yes, we are using the power of the gods to destroy them. I suppose."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I am no warrior. I'll be honest with you. I'm usually a fragile man. Is all of your power drawn from yourself?"
Tau
Cinth says "Isn't everybody's power drawn from themselves? What kind of question is that?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"No, the the boons confer a great deal of power. We're using them to escape."
Tau
"Listen, they're fancy. But you know, I've heard stories of Lord Zagreus. And I've heard every now and then he made some attempts to escape even without boons and managed to do it. It was hard, but he did it."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Listen, I respect the grind, the hustle, whatever. But I'm kind of utilitarian. You know, the faster I get out of here, whatever. You leave the boons behind and who cares? Right? I understand, you know, the the moral code."
Tau
Nausicaa holds up her hand as if to interrupt you. She says, "I understand your plight, I understand that the Underworld is hellish, and extremely difficult to overcome without additional aid. I understand all those things. Our concern is that if you were truly to come into conflict with the gods, do you think you would still have those boons?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"No, certainly not."
Tau
"So what is your plan then?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Well, if there are enough of us will be fine."
Tau
"If there are enough of us, how many do you think it takes to undo a god?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"(sighs) Lady, I'm trying to build some positive relationships here. Please don't patronize me."
Tau
"No, this is a serious question. I'm asking you because we are trying to get a number and find out.:
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I don't know the power of these gods. I've never faced one. The only combat I've ever seen has been here in the afterlife. Alexander, I don't know if you have a better idea. But also, we don't really know what your aim is."
Michael (Arete)
"I have an idea of what it could take."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Well Arete, spill those beans."
Michael (Arete)
"Nowwww, I'm going to ask a question, please don't take it the wrong way. But, uh, we just imparted some information a little moment ago about some certain beings that might be trying to return and they frequently want the gods to be cast down."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I like what you're thinking."
Michael (Arete)
"You wouldn't happen to be aligning yourselves with the titans in some way to try to cast down the gods now, would you?
Tau
(sighs) And then this is the part where they're all like, "Shit, pray."
Tau
Nausicaa's brow furrows and she says "Let me put it this way, we don't care enough. Surely surely all the stories say the titans are horrible and yes, they're very bad and Earth will churn with fire and brimstone and all these other things. Perhaps. I don't know. But what I do know is that should they awaken, it will be an upending of the social order that we have now. And this order is just as oppressive and just as dangerous. It's just cleaner, more polite, but it isn't any less destructive, at least I don't believe it is. And if they happen to be a force powerful enough to undo the gods, then... where's the harm in that? Maybe they're a means to an end."
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
(slurps the end of her milk) "Sorry, I finished my chocky milk. I would just like to I just interrupt really quick, I agree with you."
Nicholas (Alexander)
(small irritated grunt like "oh no")
Amanda (Annie)
"(very serious) But regardless of who you choose to follow, or obey or ppbt, we're still going to be at the bottom of that chain. So. Whether the gods up there or down here, or the Titans or vice versa, we're gonna be right where we are, right in the middle, in the middle baby."
Tau
So Icarus is gonna speak up and he's gonna say, "I don't care where I fall."
Players
(chuckle)
Tau
Well. That's a bad thing for me to say, but.
Amanda (Annie)
(laughs) "Forgive me that was good."
Michael (Arete)
I grant inspiration to the DM.
[SFX: Bright inspiration DING.]
Tau
"The truth is, I'm only human, but I don't have any grand plan to take over the world and rule it as a god myself."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Yeah, that's crazy. (laughs nervously)
Players
(laughs)
Tau
(laughing) Oh my goood. Hang on, let me... so Icarus is gonna go, "Yeah, that's totally crazy."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Insane, why would you ever?"
Tau
"I just want one god taken down."
[SFX: Acoustic guitar music plays.]
Tau
"Just one, just to show that it can happen."
Amanda (Annie)
"Which one? If you had to choose?"
Tau
He smiles and he runs a hand over the burn marks on his lips.
Michael (Arete)
"Seems like someone flew too close to the sun."
Tau
So Icarus nods. And he says, "He told me I'd be safe if I if I flew to him. He said, 'Come here.' And he was so... (breathes). I don't know if you've seen him, but he was the most beautiful and terrible thing I've ever seen. And he kissed me. And what he did, there was this fire. (growing upset) Fire all over my skin, my hair, my body, my wings. They melted away and as I fell, (calming) I just remember him laughing. It was just the sound of wind roaring over the cliffs, but it was laughter." Daphne chimes in she says, "You guys really think I was always a tree? I had to turn into a tree because that was the only way I would finally get him to ignore me. He wouldn't leave me the hell alone." And then at this, Cinth runs a hand over the gash over his chest. "He made me play this game of discus with him, which cut me and half. I didn't even want to play but he said I had to because he loved me."
Tau
"But yeah. I- that laugh that Icarus is talking about? I know it, I've heard it." And then Nausicaa just closes her eyes and sheds a tear. And she kind of just (deep inhale) takes a deep breath and she says "Our individual reasons are own, but our aims are the same. If it takes a titan to smite him, so be it. If we can raise an army and do it ourselves, fine. But I will use any tool available to me other than these boons and these infernal arms to undo the gods."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Hm."
Tau
"I agree with you there, but I'm going to use everything that I can to do it."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"If you can look past some methodology, we could be great allies, at least up to a point."
Tau
(Nausicaa) "Do you think their boons are given to you freely?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"What's the cost? Eternal suffering? We're here babey."
Tau
"What if they could influence you with them?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Influence me how?"
Tau
"What if they could take over your will?"
Amanda (Annie)
"Oh, yeah."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Perhaps they can take them, at any chance."
Tau
"What if at the last moment, they turn you against us? And then you, with all the favor of Olympus and all the powers of Olympus at your disposal, do away with us at the last moment? And then we hear that laughter over Olympus once more."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I cannot say that what you say won't occur. But.
Tau
"But you understand our hesitation."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I understand your hesitation. But who's to say they can't do that already? They're called gods for a reason, right?
Nicholas (Alexander)
"That's why if we release the Titans, you won't have to worry about us."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Precisely, if we're torn asunder after that then whatever, you know. But if you're out and you're free, ee help you in your aims."
Tau
"There is... one additional complication."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yes."
Tau
"I'm sure you've noticed the Styx is awfully different these days and I predict that, um... so much blood needs to congeal to create a Titan. It is not likely we will be able to avail ourselves of the pool of Styx anymore... Do you catch my meaning?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yes."
Tau
"That is something we are all prepared to live with. Something you deserve to know."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Listen, perhaps it would be more strategic to have this conversation behind closed doors and reconvene with you later, but I cannot make decisions against my Olympiad's will. But all I will say is gang, listen, I don't know what appeals to you to do with the rest of eternity. But I've been shown endless battle. And if we can put an end to that, that would just feel so much sweeter. Don't you think? None of us choose to come into being. And then, even if you're lucky, even if you have a perfect life, you end up here. What makes life beautiful is the fact that it's limited. The uncertainty. Yes, I'm sure some people have it nice down here. But the vast majority of what I've seen has been violence. If we can put an end to that, live one life even if it's in fear, even if you're scraping by for survival, at least it's real. No. At least you're free, not just a little piece in an infinite system."
Michael (Arete)
"What are you proposing Rolf?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"We help this Olympiad. We free the Titans."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"But in return, we would be sacrificing our own existence."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"And then life is just life. There is no afterlife. No Elysium, no Tartarus, no Asphodel, no fighting just... your life. A beautiful moment, that relief that was going to be one point in the infinite timeline of eternity gets to be everything."
Tau
Nausicaa is so moved by this, she actually holds your hand, Rolf, and she looks to everybody else. She says "It wouldn't be an easy life. And it wouldn't be an uncomplicated one. But it is yours."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Precisely. I want you all to be honest, because it's a big decision. And we're taking a lot of fates in our hands. And if it is not what you want, I guess I won't do it. But to me, it seems like the sympathetic option."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"So to be precise, would we be jumping into the Styx?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"No, we fight, we try to get out of here. We free the Titans, whatever it takes, and then the Styx is gone. There is no Styx."
Tau
Cinth basically says, "No more takeback-sees, no more redos or retakes, no more climbing out of the Styx and excuse me, sorry, just the one life you live. If we fuck it up, well, we died fighting the gods. That's something I could live with."
Michael (Arete)
"And what a tale will be told of it."
Tau
At this Daphne laughs and she says "They'll do everything to erase the stories of us. Don't do this if you're going into it for nobility or legacy or anything of the sort."
Michael (Arete)
"Well, thank you for taking the wind out of the moment I thought I was building..."
Players
(laugh)
Michael (Arete)
"...but I'm still in any way babey!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"To be honest with you, I'll have to think some more on it."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Alexander. What awaits you even if you are in your place in Elysium What is there for you here, for all of time? You'll never be a God. You'll never be in Olympus. You'll still just be in the least shittiest place in hell."
Tau
At that moment you hear a voice call out "Alexander?"
Michael (Arete)
(operatic singing) Nooooooooo!
Amanda (Annie)
(dreading) Oh no.
Tau
"Alexander?"
Michael (Arete)
(singing) Noooooo!
Nicholas (Alexander)
Sound familiar or no?
Tau
It does, it sounds very familiar.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Okay, I'll turn to see the familiar voice.
Tau
You see an old man hobbling towards you. He has a large hole like as if something had like struck his heart and the wound never healed. And you recognize this man to be Cleitus the Black.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(gasps then laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
(makes a noise)
Nicholas (Alexander)
(half laughs)
Tau
This is a real mythological character.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, you're good.
Tau
Even before this I was like, oh no oh no. I already know this is gonna be like a whole fucking thing. So this old man Cleitus the Black comes up to you. Roll a history check with advantage.
Nicholas (Alexander)
18.
Tau
So you remember that Cleitus the Black is actually somebody who was a soldier of your father's. He was kind of like the old guard of the Macedon rule, but he kind of followed and advised you on your travels throughout the world and through Asia in particular. And six years before you actually died, he ended up saving your life in a very climactic battle. So you felt very, very indebted to him. But then over the years, he actually became like one of your biggest critics. And what ended up happening is that he felt like you were kind of losing the ways of Macedon. And you were kind of becoming this person who was obsessed with the orient and the customs of the orient, and trying to make yourself a God because you were adopting all of these rituals like prostration, and genuflection to, you know, living people. So he became one of your biggest critics in that way. And then actually, you had this very drunken quarrel with him that was very public and very historically recorded among a lot of people. But the way everyone remembers is that you were just so angry with him that you drunkenly killed him with a javelin through his heart.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(large exhale)
Tau
So he says, "Alexander? What are you doing here again?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Again?"
Tau
"I'll say listen, I know we have our differences, but really Elysium hasn't been the same without you."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Excuse me."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Who has put me in the river?"
[SFX: A subtle tone fades in, unwavering in its tension)
Tau
"What? Put you- put you in the river? I was begging you. I said, Alexander. Stop. I begged you over and over as you waded deeper and deeper in until I couldn't see your head anymore."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(gasp)
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I do belong here, Rolf. Forgive me, Cleitus. It's all coming back to me. I I thought this was my first time in Elysium."
Tau
"No. We spent many happy years at Elysium, I thought we had finally become friends again."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I'm sorry, old bastard. I... (sighs)"
Tau
"You sound like old Alexander, all right. But you seem.... ah, mmm different. Weaker?"
Amanda (Annie)
(exhales)
Michael (Arete)
Eeeeeeeee.
Tau
"Have you lost your touch old man?"
Amanda (Annie)
Ouch.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(joking) And he stabs him through the heart again.
[SFX: Bloody scrape of an impaling sword.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
"More than my touch, my entire memory it seems."
Players
(laughs)
Tau
"It's interesting to say you belong here because you kept insisting that you don't the last time you walked in."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"No, not here in Elysium. I belong in the lower levels, it seems."
Tau
"You might have said something to that effect. Actually, now that I remember it. I was very drunk at the time."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Well, my good friend, Alexander the Great is a is an overstatement. It's more Alexander the Wretched. Alexander the Terrible. Alexander the... the Unkind."
Tau
"Listen, there's no need for the passive aggression. Did I call you all those things in the heat of passion? Yes."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughs)
Michael (Arete)
"What about Alexander the eight inches, huhhh?"
Tau
"Alexander, you and I have both now been dead longer than we've ever lived. We cannot let our past lives dictate our eternities."
Michael (Arete)
"Wait a second. How long have you guys been dead?
[SFX: Low ominous note.]
Michael (Arete)
"How long have I been dead?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(chuckles)
Tau
"Goodness."
Michael (Arete)
"Is my brother even still alive?" It sends Arete into a spiral of like thinking about time.
Amanda (Annie)
(joking) Wait, we're dead? That's it, that's it.
Tau
"Listen, you're obviously in the middle of some... thing." And then he looks and he sees the eight of you standing, looking very powerful, radiating cool abilities and magic and equipment. And he says, "Ah, I'll just... bring it in! It's good to see you, all right?" And then he does like the cheek to cheek thing.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Ah, yes. Yes.
Tau
And that he just like kind of pats you and just kind of backs away slowly.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Wait, hold that.
Tau
With a little... "W-what? Yeah?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughing) "You have some nerve, Rolf! Respect him, THAT is an old man."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Old sir. Why did Alexander say he didn't belong here? What led to it? What were your lives like?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Isn't it obvious?"
Tau
"He had some crisis of faith or identity? I don't know. I thought it was another one of our drunken quarrels and then I don't know maybe. (grasping for words) he had, I had just seen him coming back from something. Maybe something had happened to him right before, some kind of argument or something bad. Maybe he maybe had a fight with Hephaestion or something."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Hephaestion is here."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Hephaestion is here."
Tau
"Of course. Hephaestion is fighting in the UFC."
Players
(a round of gasps)
Tau
"Do you all know Hephaestion? He's very handsome."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I'm afraid I don't. Friend of yours, Alexander?"
Tau
"I mean, he's carrying that exact same thing." And he points to Marigold on your hip.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(sighs like a facepalm)
Michael (Arete)
(laughs)
Tau
"I'm glad yours came back to you, Alexander. I remember you throw it into the river and I said, Oh, he there's no way he's ever getting that thing back."
Michael (Arete)
(still laughing)
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Cleitus, where is Hephaestion?"
Tau
"Well, deep in Elysium, I suppose. Shouldn't be too hard to find him. If you were fighting in the UFC. I mean, he is really something you know, oh, oo, hoss. This is a little awkward. I should, (deliberates) mm hmm. You know, you should just see him. I think. Yeah, you should just see him and see how he's doing."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Yes, right away, please. We all, we need to see Hephae-- well, I need to see him."
Tau
"Okay, well, you go do that."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Wait, Cletus, before you go."
Tau
"Yes?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"A gift," And he's going to give him one, I'm going to give one of my javelins to Cleitus the Black.
Tau
"Oh, that's cold Alex." And he takes the javelin.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(burst of laughter)
Nicholas (Alexander)
"It's a joke gift!"
Tau
He takes the javelin, he shoves it in the hole in his heart. He goes, "Just shove it, just stick it in why don't ya." But then he lets out a hearty laugh as he limps away.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Oh, that son of a bitch."
Tau
At this Nausicaa, with her fingers still on her chin is going to tilt her head the other way and say "Friend of yours?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(chuckles)
Nicholas (Alexander)
"More almost a father figure. Oh, now, oof, I've just gone through a rollercoaster of emotions in the span of 10 minutes. Ahem. Awkwaaard. Listen... uh, we'll have to talk about this other stuff later. I have, there is someone I'm dying. Dying. I have died to meet."
Tau
Icarus will like cock and eyebrow, and he'll be like "ooOoo. Tell me more about him."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Maybe once Apollo was slain, I can tell you all about him."
Tau
"Well, I thought that's what we were planning now. But okay. You have at it."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I just need to see this man, it's been..."
Tau
Everybody in the other Olympiad just lets out this like sigh as like, they're just like dealing with like a child almost.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughs)
Tau
Like they were trying to explain something very important to this Olympiad. And then they got very easily distracted by something else. So then finally they start walking away, and then Cinth turns around and says, "Oh, by the way, take this. I guess we won't need it." And he throws the Daedalus hammer back at you.
[SFX: Boon chime and the clinking thunk of metal.]
Tau
And the Daedalus hammer spins and hits the ground, and they walk away.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alright, I'll grab it.
Tau
So you can basically select any of the two Daedalus boons that you didn't select the first time.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Oof, talking to people it's hard, ya'll."
Amanda (Annie)
(chuckles)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Uhh, there was the critical and then the other one...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
'Cause we currently have blast nova.
Michael (Arete)
Single target damage is replicated on adjacent targets for Daedalus...
Nicholas (Alexander)
We have that one.
Michael (Arete)
Oh okay.
Tau
So that's the special right? So you still have attack aaaand... oh, yeah. So you have the Daedalus miscellaneous, which is the the crit range increases, your crit range doubles. Can I make one change? So I'm actually going to increase the crit range a little bit more, and say instead of 19 to 20, it's 16 to 20.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Ooo.
Nicholas (Alexander)
I would like to save that one for later, however.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
The hammers are few and far between. But I still do kind of agree with you based on our current loadout. Maximizing your damage output will give us the best chance at survival.
Nicholas (Alexander)
And that's the one we'll choose, the extra attack.
Tau
Oh, yeah. All right, you get it.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughs)
Nicholas (Alexander)
And on my way to, wherever I have to go to find Hephaestion.
Tau
All right, you see a gate that shows a symbol of obols on it.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah, he dashes over. Slaps his hand on it.
[SFX: Soft tinkle of glass breaking followed by the scrape of stone.]
Tau
Okay. It opens, you hear more audience cheering on the other side.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yes, this way. And he'll just dash in without waiting for the team.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Tau
You do that.
Michael (Arete)
As Arete he starts to walk into the portal he mutters kind of under his breath, "Alex wants to talk about awkward, talking about awkward is stealing the light from a child at a party."
Nicholas (Alexander)
Pssh.
Michael (Arete)
"Geez." And he walks through the portal.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Annie, I know you didn't speak up. I just wanted to check in with you. You're the only one that didn't get to live a life. Have you any thoughts on what we were just discussing?"
Amanda (Annie)
"Um, yeah, I have a lot of thoughts, Rolf."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Are you agreeable to it?"
Amanda (Annie)
"I don't know. I think I'm kind of in the same boat as Icarus. At least what I took from it is, he just was like, along for the ride wasn't necessarily against it, wasn't necessarily going to actually like do anything about it? Look, I- (takes a breath). I'll be honest with the Rolf. Knowing what I know about the Titans, knowing what I know about the gods, this fight has happened before, and I don't see myself surviving that. So if I'm fighting to get out of hell to just go way back into hell, like you said, I didn't live a life so I don't even know what I'm missing. Right?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"The big problem is there would be no hell to come back to."
Amanda (Annie)
"I don't see that as a problem."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Neither do I. Think on it, but it seems, seems like we might be in agreement Annie."
Amanda (Annie)
"It's been a while since we have been, huh?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I suppose."
Amanda (Annie)
"Are you okay?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yeah."
Amanda (Annie)
"Are you sure? You're radiating an awful lot."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"That's just my power. See you on the other side," and Rolf goes through the portal.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
[SFX: Outro music.]
ROGUE RUNNERS Volume 1: In the Blood, stars our players Nicholas Benetatos as Alexander the Great, Amanda Facosta as Anastasia Pantazis, Giancarlo Herrera as Rolf Yannik, and Michael Pisani as Arete Laskaris. Dungeon Mastering and NPC voices are by me, Tau Zaman. Cover art by Chandler Candela. Audio editing by Daniel Manning. Sound design and editing by Giancarlo Herrera. Title music by Sage G.C., with vocals by Jessica Dahlgren and Sage G.C. Character theme music by Giorgio Volpe. Additional music by Epidemic Sound. Transcription by Eli Barraza.
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