Volume 1: In the Blood Ep. 23 - Pelops, the God-Hunter
TRANSCRIPT - In the Blood Ep. 23 - Pelops, The God-Hunter
Tau
A product of the Whisperforge.
[SFX: Whisperforge Chime]
Sound and Story — Brought to Life.
Tau
You’re listening to a parody that is not affiliated with or endorsed by Supergiant Games in any way, we’re just big ol’ nerds making improv fanfiction.
ROGUE RUNNERS is...rated R, for pretty much everything you can find in Greek Mythology: violence, assault, self-harm, offensive language, insensitive humor, and intense themes. We encourage everyone to check out our show notes and transcripts on our website at Whisperforge.org. Are you ready to run? Then welcome to Volume 1: In the Blood.
[SFX: Intro music.]
Tau
Okay, can you tell me your initiatives now?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf is an eight.
Nicholas (Alexander)
16.
Michael (Arete)
Arete is 10.
Tau
Annie.
Amanda (Annie)
(resigned) Annie rolled a five.
[SFX: Bass heavy battle music plays.]
Tau
(Pelops through his helmet) "It is time I cut the agents of Olympus down low," he is going to withdraw his massive javelin, and in a very swift motion, he's going to use the point of the javelin to trace like a really fast circle on the ground around him.
[SFX: Echoing electric nyoom.]
Tau
And that circle is going to light up after a moment and then explode, and this whirlwind forms all around him. So everybody needs to make a dexterity saving throw.
[SFX: The whirling wind picks up.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alright, everyone's with me though. Right? So add four.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Tau
Yep.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
26.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(low and deep) Yessssss. 24.
Tau
Dang.
Michael (Arete)
29 from Arete.
Tau
What!
Amanda (Annie)
18 for Annie. What the shit.
Tau
Wow. Okay, so all of you feel this really powerful whirlwind around you. If you had failed it, things would have gone quite badly for you.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(chuckles)
Tau
But you did it, you all succeeded. So Arete you completely evade the damage from it. Alexander you interpose your shield...
[SFX: Metal thunk.]
Tau
...at this kind of like rapidly modulating way to adjust for a whirlwind hitting you in all directions. Annie and Rolf, you only take half of this damage which I'm rolling right now. So it's 35 bludgeoning damage halved is 17 minus three is 14.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay.
Amanda (Annie)
Wow.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf very loudly while staring at Pelops says "Athena! Aid me."
[SFX: Soft clang of metal and chime for the Athena boon.]
Tau
He goes "You spineless shills!" As he's disappointed in you for doing that.
Players
(chuckle)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(deadpan) Oh, no. Dad.
Michael (Arete)
(laughs)
Tau
All right. So that concludes his turn, Alexander you're up.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Great. With a Hermes, Poseidon boon, he's gonna dash at him.
[SFX: Splash of a wave.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
That's a 25.
Tau
Okay, he's gonna make a strength save 'cause you're using Poseidon. He handily succeeds.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Okay.
Tau
He's not pushed back, but yeah, you get to 25 on the attack roll?
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yes.
Tau
That hits.
Nicholas (Alexander)
With the divine smite as well, that first hit will do 29 damage, with Ares aiding that as well.
[SFX: Ares boon boom chime.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
The second hit is a 25.
Tau
Oh, and you should roll with advantage because, are you using Artemis?
[SFX: Artemis boon chime.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah, but he didn't need to, I guess.
Tau
Yeah, but you but you should because you could crit, right?
Nicholas (Alexander)
You are right. That's a natural 20. (laughs)
Tau
(laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
Wooow.
Tau
Beautiful. Okay.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Okay, so an additional 92.
[SFX: Brutal thwacking.]
Amanda (Annie)
(Softly) Wow.
Nicholas (Alexander)
And that should be all the things that I can do.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh my gosh.
Tau
So you did a fuck ton of damage on him. Did that conclude your turn?
Nicholas (Alexander)
And that's my turn le-- Oh, no, no. Aphrodite? Can I use her or no?
[SFX: Aphrodite glamorous boon chime.]
Tau
You invoke it and you get the sense that this charm just will not work on him.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah, okay.
Amanda (Annie)
(chuckles)
Nicholas (Alexander)
Oh, like they won't. For the sake of the boss battle?
Tau
He is more construct than human...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Uh huh.
Tau
...and constructs cannot be charmed.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alright, that will be it for that turn.
Tau
At the end of your turn, Pelops is going to leap up into the air impossibly high. And that's what happens. Arete, it's your turn.
Michael (Arete)
Great.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughs)
Michael (Arete)
All the things that I had ready to go. I have to think on the fly really fast. Okay. All right, I'm going to use my bonus action of cunning action to hide. I'm going to hide in the remnants of the Hydra skull.
Tau
Nice.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Oooo.
Michael (Arete)
It's a 15.
Tau
Okay.
Michael (Arete)
And then I will use my main action to ready an attack for if Pelops enters my immediate area.
Tau
Okay, at that moment, a light radiates in a 50 foot radius underneath all of you.
[SFX: Soft ominous boom. Synth music slowly fades in.]
Tau
I'm gonna say, Arete, you have the remnants of this Hydra skull that you can hold on to so you could make a dexterity save.
Michael (Arete)
Okay.
Tau
Everybody else is not anchored to something. So here's what happens. It's this electrical grid type of light, these lights little matrix numbers are like running in these lights in a 50 foot radius underneath all of your feet. And then suddenly all the lights turn on at once and all of you feel gravity reverse underneath you.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Mm.
Amanda (Annie)
(gasp)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Feather fall."
Tau
Well the thing is all of you start falling upwards.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Tau
Arete make a dexterity saving throw.
Michael (Arete)
23.
Tau
You are fine. You are holding on to the skull. Everybody else, you're floating 100 feet in the air. It's 100 foot high cylinder.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Anastasia, the fall will kill us."
Amanda (Annie)
(clipped) "Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm aware. Thank you!" (laughs)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Do I see Pelops now that I'm in the air?
Tau
You can try to look for him.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Sure. Seven on perception.
Tau
You look up into the blackness of Asphodel and you do not see him. You might see like just like a shining star somewhere above and you know that there are no stars down here.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf is just going to take, his eyes are still bloodshot with the crystals almost like, like you see blood like floating around his eyes, and he's going to channel it. And you see electricity, red lightning begins to course in between his fingertips into a ball, and he is going to ready a witch bolt the next time he sees Pelops within range.
Tau
Well, you're about to see Pelops in range, because that little shining star you saw up in the distance gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And then you see like, in a moment, like again, at the speed of lightning, you see Pelops crashing down specifically on you, Rolf.
[SFX: Low rumble that crescendos while crashing into rock.]
Tau
(furious) "Spineless servant!" And while you're 100 feet in the air, he's gonna crash on you and then skewer you all the way down to the ground. So um, he has advantage on this attack because you're kind of suspended where he wants you...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Mhmm.
Tau
.... in this reverse gravity field. He gets a 28. Does that hit you?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Iris!"
[SFX: Iris boon chime.]
Tau
It is actually higher. That would have been a crit. So it's 28. Does that still beat your increased AC?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
That does hit.
Tau
Okay, you feel the javelin go straight into you. It's like a bad falling dream. But in real life, you just see, even through the black visor, you can just sense like hatred coming from his eyes as you just descend straight into the ground. So you first take 30 piercing damage.
[SFX: A wet impalement.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"(cries out)"
Tau
And then there's the fall of 100 feet, which is...
Nicholas (Alexander)
(low) Oh god.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughing, desperate) "Annie!!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
God damn.
Amanda (Annie)
Feather fall, can I cast it now?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
It's a reaction right?
Tau
So here's the thing, if it applied for anybody else falling but not somebody who is being skewered and pushed into the ground.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"(gasping) Athena!"
[SFX: Athena boon chime.]
Tau
I mean, yes, certainly call on Athena because you take another 31 bludgeoning damage.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oh my god.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Good thing I told you to heal.
Tau
So he has driven that javelin into you and he is holding it down. He's got his foot on your neck just to like hold you down. And again, you just feel pure fury radiating from the sky.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
So I crash into the ground, one hit point left.
Tau
Ohmygod. (laughs)
Nicholas (Alexander)
Wow. So glad (laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
(laughs)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And you see the red lightning begin to course and he says...
[SFX: Electricity buzzing.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
..."You cast off the gods and hurt only yourself. I will use their power to make them regret ever coming into existence." And he lets go of the fifth level witch bolt...
[SFX: Synth music transitions into acoustic guitar as the witch bolt booms.]
Tau
Nice.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
... into Pelops, with a blood crystal of course. That is a 29 to hit.
Tau
Okay, that certainly hits.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Olympus! Aid me in this!"
[SFX: A cascade of boon chimes from Ares, Dionysus, and Aphrodite.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
You see this enormous storm of lightning flow straight through the construct that is Pelops and 67 points of lightning damage flow through Pelops along with a stack of hangover damage.
Tau
You fire this witch bolt. You shoot him up into the air as you're doing this because there's just so much force in it. And as you shout "Olympus aid me", the blackness of Asphodel above you clears away...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughs)
Tau
...and suddenly it is gray skies above you, gray skies as if you were above ground, and then high, high above in the gray skies, you see an impossibly buff figure with a long flowing gold beard....
[SFX: The acoustic guitar transitions to a more intense electric, like the opening credits.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(excited) Ohhh.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(awed) Nooo.
Amanda (Annie)
(gasp)
Tau
... holding lightning bolt in his hand. And as you shoot one bolt to fire Pelops upward, this figure shoots a lightning bolt to pinch him, basically pincer him from above...
[SFX: Thunderous lightning.]
Tau
...and he is struck by a second lightning bolt.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(cackles)
Tau
So tell me how much damage you did again.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(with relish) 67.
Tau
You instead do 134.
Amanda (Annie)
(gasps)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughs) Rolf is like laying on the ground basically dead, laughing like a madman as lightning flows from his fingers. (cackles)
Tau
Yo-yeah, you're fucking Palpatine here.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Tau
Like, one hundred percent. But you sense that Olympus is also not pleased with this figure.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Tau
And once again the skies darken and you are back in Asphodel. But you have performed something called the God Call...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(gasps) Oh shit.
Tau
....which might be a thing that happens from time to time.
Amanda (Annie)
Whaaaa.
Tau
So Pelops already looks really bad. Oh, not really bad. He looks, mmm, half bad.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Tau
Like, that that fucked him up, that really fucked him up.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Blood pours out of Rolf's mouth as he smiles and you see red teeth.
Tau
Yeah. So you see him, he's just levitating in the air, but he's not doing anything to keep himself in the air. But you just see these jolts of electricity and he's spasming with these like paroxysms of static running through him. And so he's kind of just stuck that way for the moment. Also, when that happens, because he was so struck, he cannot possibly roll a concentration save high enough to maintain that concentration. So everybody's reverse gravity turns on, so everybody drops 100 feet. Who is in the air?
Amanda (Annie)
(singing) Feather fall.!
[SFX: The viol lets loose a few bright wobbling notes.]
Amanda (Annie)
(still singing) Feather fall.
Tau
That was a fine time you use feather fall. Everybody's fine.
Amanda (Annie)
Excellent. Thank you. Annie's gonna run over to Rolf. I'm gonna be like, "Rolf. Rolf that was that was really metal, but you got, buddy, buddy. You gotta you gotta take better care of yourself. Come on. What was that? What was that?" And she's gonna cast the level four cure wounds on Rolf.
[SFX: Lower notes plucked out of the viol.]
Amanda (Annie)
19 plus eight.
Michael (Arete)
Oh, we love to see it.
Amanda (Annie)
27. There you go.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"(coughs)"
Amanda (Annie)
"There you go, buddy. Cough it out."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Excellent work girl."
Amanda (Annie)
"And the blood."
Nicholas (Alexander)
(chuckles)
Amanda (Annie)
"Oh, oh no, you sound like, you sound like the other one. Oh, no."
Tau
It is Pelops' turn. He is going to finally land back down on the ground. He's gonna take his javelin out of Rolf.
[SFX: A shlucking sound as he pulls out the javelin. The music fades in, slowly with synth and bass.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughing) As he's already standing.
Tau
Yeah, so he takes the javelin out of Rolf, sees that you're still alive, which he is not pleased with, so he is going to leap up into the air again. He's going to pull his javelin behind him. You see like a retical lock on you in his visor. And he is going to throw the javelin back at you.
[SFX: Old school digital sounds as the javelin splits.]
Tau
The javelin is going to split apart into seven different pieces, which all fire lasers at you. So make constitution saving throw.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay, I rolled a six and I'm gonna go "Morpheus, aid me."
[SFX: A full sounding chime for Morpheus' boon.]
Tau
Nice! Describe how this happens.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I think as he's taken more damage, and he's bleeding and full of holes, the blood crystals coursing through him have become more apparent, like you see the veins at the surface of the skin on his face. And he calls upon Morpheus, it's almost like he empowers the crystals already within him. And you see him even though he doesn't change in size, it it almost looks like he's buffed up somehow.
Tau
Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And he just takes the blast and stares him down.
Tau
So you only take half of this damage. So.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay.
Tau
So it's 34 plus 17, which is 51. But halved, so that's 25.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Minus three.
Tau
Minus three.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Athena!"
[SFX: Athena boon chime.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
22.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And that puts him down to six hit points. But he takes the blast and just stares at Pelops.
Tau
So when you call out for Morpheus to help you, he goes "Fucking Morpheus?!"
Players
(laugh)
Tau
"Slaves of Olympus are a cancer that must be BURNED out!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
And he's in the air?
Tau
He's in the air. 15 Oh, no. 30 feet, 30 feet.
Nicholas (Alexander)
But how could I reach him cus...?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(chanting) Jav-e-lin. Jav-e-lin.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah, all right. He's gonna throw a javelin... with advantage since he laid that blow last time.
Tau
Yeah, he laid that blow. (implied winky face)
Amanda (Annie)
(groans)
Nicholas (Alexander)
26 lands?
Tau
Yeah.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Okay, so he's throwing a javelin with divine smite and Ares and Dionysus and the other fellers...
[SFX: Boon cascade of booms, pops, and mmms.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
...and he gets 31 damage on the first hit.
[SFX: whipping through the air, landing wetly.]
Tau
Oh, dang. Okay,
Nicholas (Alexander)
And yeah, he's just gonna throw another one while sprinting with Poseidon and Hermes...
[SFX: A rolling wave.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
... and fwoom, one Javelin soars and misses completely.
Tau
Okay, after this, he is going to crash land on Arete, make a dexterity saving throw.
Michael (Arete)
Aw, he saw me in my hiding spot. Oof, an 11 for my dexterity saving throw.
Tau
Alright, I mean, you're probably going to like this, but Pelops crashes right on top of you.
Michael (Arete)
Mmm.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughs)
Tau
You take 30 piercing damage as he crashes down on top of you.
[SFX: Boom.]
Michael (Arete)
As he crashes down on him, Arete accidentally calls out the wrong name.
Tau
(laughs)
Michael (Arete)
And says (gasping) "Athena!"
[SFX: The ding of Athena's boon.]
Players
(laugh)
Michael (Arete)
You see Arete, like, he starts to shimmer for a moment and then there's a slight popping noise as he disappears from view.
[SFX: Pop!]
Michael (Arete)
So that way, he can then perform a grave marker maneuver and he will attempt mark for death. So please roll a constitution saving throw.
Tau
He is good at this. But let's see.
Michael (Arete)
I figured he would be but you know.
Tau
Well, he only got a 13, all told.
Michael (Arete)
Woohoo! We love it because the DC was a 15. So upon the failure, it is treated as vulnerable against the next individual instance of damage it takes before the start of my next turn.
Tau
Nice.
Michael (Arete)
What you see is Arete had been invisible and then all of a sudden you see him become visible...
[SFX: Pop!]
Michael (Arete)
...but he had something in his hand and he kind of slaps Pelops upon the back and you see like a skull and crossbones sticker on his back.
Tau
Cute. Alright, so after this, he is furious that he could not burn you out Alexander, you can make an opportunity attack, Arete, he is going to leap over to Rolf and try to just stab down at him with the javelin.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(gasps)
Michael (Arete)
As he leaps, Arete draws La Voix...
[SFX: Light scrape of metal.]
Michael (Arete)
...for opportunity attack.
Tau
Yeah 23 hits.
Michael (Arete)
As he stabs Pelops with La Voix, he'll say "Ares, Dionysus, Artemis, Aphrodite, aid me in this cause."
[SFX: Boon cascade.]
Michael (Arete)
That would then be... 27.
[SFX: The bloody shink of metal in flesh.]
Tau
Okay, you caught him on that opportunity attack. He moves to stab at Rolf.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
He gets a 19 Does that hit?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Iris!"
[SFX: The bright Iris boon chime followed by dice rolling.]
Tau
Alright, disadvantage. That was even better so it's still a 19.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(calmly accepting) Okay, he takes the hit.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Damn.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
As he sees Pelops lunging at him, he assumes that he is about to die and he smiles and points at the auto injector.
Tau
He deals 21 piercing damage...
[SFX: Wet impact of the stab.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(cries out)
Tau
...at you, Rolf.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(cries out) Rolf begins to die as the auto injector breaks the vial and injects the fluid...
[SFX: gentle crack of glass and hiss.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
...and he comes back with 40 hit points and completely invisible.
Tau
Nice.
Amanda (Annie)
Hahahaha.
Tau
"You are playthings of Hephaestus, I am his champion!"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"If you're his champion, then why are you about to die?"
Tau
You see the retical on his visor locks straight on you as if he can see--
Amanda (Annie)
Oh no.
Tau
--through invisibility very simply.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
That is fine because he sees me casting witch bolt right back at him.
Tau
All right, you already have witch bolt on him, don't you?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I was gonna say, does dying break my concentration?
Tau
Oh yeah, it super does.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Tau
Okay, fair enough.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughing) I would assume I'm a little distracted by death. But I'm going to charge up witch bolt as he locks on to my invisibility thing. I get plus three because I assume he has my blood crystal lodged in him?
Tau
Yep.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay, so with my second crystal that is an additional 3 so 6. That puts us at 32 to hit.
Tau
That does hit.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Olympus, Hephaestus, motherfucking Flying Spaghetti Monster, empower this hit!"
[SFX: Boon cascade.]
Amanda (Annie)
Wow.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And so as another witch bolt flies out, he does 52 damage...
[SFX: BOOM.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
...and applies another stack of hangover and then Rolf is going to begin dashing in a circle like a figure skater using Poseidon's boon to raise his AC by three.
[SFX: Wave splash.]
Tau
All right after your turn, he is going to leap straight up into the air again and he is out of sight. Annie it is your turn.
Amanda (Annie)
Dammit!
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Heal."
Amanda (Annie)
(disappointed) I was about to bestow a curse. Okay. "Hey, hey, hey Arete. How are you looking? How are you feeling?"
Michael (Arete)
"Ah, 71 out of 98."
Amanda (Annie)
"Oh, you're peachy keen, okay. Rolf, you just used your little stimpack buddy. Okay."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"40."
Amanda (Annie)
"Do you still, how do you feel?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I'm beneath 50%"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"He can still die, yes."
Amanda (Annie)
"Yes. Well, we can all still die, Alex."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"But from one hit. It was 60 damage, I believe."
Amanda (Annie)
"Sure. And he does seem to be very keen on hitting Rolf. Alex. How are you feeling?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Perfectly fine. Not a scratch."
Amanda (Annie)
"Oh, you got you got that fancy little, you got that fancy little thing with the. Okay. Rolf, let's go ahead. Let's let's just patch you up really quick. Why not? Right?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Correct. This is the right course of action."
Nicholas (Alexander)
(chuckles)
Amanda (Annie)
"Okay, and your your 40 out of, (whispers) out of what?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
88.
Amanda (Annie)
"Okay, okay." Annie's gonna cast cure wounds at level four again, and that is 22. And also using Resonata...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Please roll a seven.
Amanda (Annie)
That was a six.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Dammit!
Amanda (Annie)
But that's 28.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Almost "Nice."
Amanda (Annie)
(laughs) All right, look at you. You look like there's blood in your body again. That's always good.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, at this point he looks like, even though we're already dead, he is alive by like unholy means.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh 100%.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Thank you Anastasia."
Amanda (Annie)
"You're welcome, Rolf."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"And now dash."
Amanda (Annie)
And now I'm gonna ride that wave.
[SFX: Splash of the wave.]
Tau
So as you ride that wave Annie, make a dexterity saving throw as Pelops comes to crash down on you.
Amanda (Annie)
(uninteligible high pitched noise) No! No! It was so close to a 19... it's a nine.
Tau
So you're gonna take... 31 minus three so 28 piercing damage as he crashes down onto you.
[SFX: Low rumble then thunder.]
Amanda (Annie)
(strained mumbled words) There's definitely more.
Tau
So it's his turn now and he is once again going to trace that light circle around him with the tip of his javelin and that when that light circle explodes, there's a whirlwind. Everybody make a dexterity saving throw.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Are you kidding me? Eight
Michael (Arete)
Arete rolls a 26.
[SFX: The whirlwind picks up.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alexander gets a 15.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie gets a 17.
Tau
So everybody who got a 17 or better takes only 17 damage or none if you have Alex and Arete's bullshitty things. Everybody else takes 35 bludgeoning damage.
[SFX: Bone cracks.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"(cries out)"
Tau
Okay, who failed?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I did.
Nicholas (Alexander)
I fail.
Tau
You are also something called restrained.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Ah, shit.
Tau
So the way, at first, the wind picks you up so now you are in the air. You are restrained. You're, a restrained creatures speed becomes zero and it can't benefit from any bonus to speed. Attack rolls against the creature have advantage and the creature's attack rolls have disadvantage and the creature has disadvantage on dexterity saving throws. A restrained creature can use an action to make a strength or dexterity check against the spell save DC which is 17. If successful, the creature is no longer restrained by the whirlwind and is hurled 3d6 times 10 feet away from it in a random direction.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
There is very minimal chance I will ever meet that requirement so I'm not going to do that.
Tau
Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I'm going to use my action to try and finish him.
Nicholas (Alexander)
So I'm gonna use my holy bulwark to give myself plus four AC.
[SFX: A subtle holy hum.]
Tau
Nice.
Nicholas (Alexander)
That's it, I'm done.
Tau
He is then going to leap straight up into the air. Arete it's your turn
Michael (Arete)
I cannot mark him for death while he's up in that air.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(singing) In the air, ay, air.
Amanda (Annie)
(small laugh)
Michael (Arete)
Is the skull of the Hydra still intact, or did he like absolutely smash it when he came current?
Tau
I mean there's little pieces of it so you could try to hide like you did last time but it is certainly not anything close to intact
Michael (Arete)
All right, I I mean, there's not much left for me to do. So I'm gonna go ahead and use a bonus cunning action to hide in what rubble is left of the Hydra head. Oo hoo hoo!
Tau
Okay, that might actually be difficult for him to find because you rolled a 32.
Michael (Arete)
I sure did. We love to see a nat 20 with a bonus plus 12.
Tau
Right well you can be assured he's not crash landing on you.
Michael (Arete)
That's the bonus action and then the main action, I will ready an attack for when he or another enemy enter my immediate vicinity.
Tau
All right, Rolf make a dexterity saving throw.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Wow, he hates Rolf.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Well, I'm swirling around next to Alexander, right?
Nicholas (Alexander)
Add four.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Sweet. (relieved) Oh, finally I rolled well. 28.
Tau
Okay, so you only take half of this.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Shit.
Tau
You take half of 31 so you only take 13.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(cringing) Okay.
[SFX: Thunder with Pelops' descent.]
Tau
As he crashes down onto you, Alexander make a dexterity saving throw because you're so close to him.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
God dammit.
Tau
Listen, you said it.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Nicholas (Alexander)
15.
Tau
Yeah, so you take 31 as shockwaves from that crash hit you.
Michael (Arete)
Did they crash land near me?
Tau
Do you want to also take that damage?
Michael (Arete)
No.
Tau
Then no.
Amanda (Annie)
(nervous) Haha.
Michael (Arete)
Although I'm sure I would pass the dex saving throw.
Tau
(reasonable yet smirking) Okay, we can try it next time.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Has my witch bolt been broken?
Tau
Roll, uh, concentration. So you have to get at least a 10 because he took 15.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
20.
Tau
Yeah, so as he crashes onto you, the witch bolt realigns and reattaches to Pelops so you can make use of that if you so choose.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And he is going to continue to pump that lightning as it reattaches to Pelops. And he says "For someone who hates the gods so much, you continues to make their same petty mistakes," as he deals 42 lightning damage...
[SFX: Thunder roars.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
...and deals another stack of hangover as Olympus powers the lightning strike.
[SFX: Boon cascade.]
Tau
That lightning courses through him and he's kind of still like spasming and you see just like little bolts of electricity arcing around through his armor with like a blue blood gel leaking out of him and he goes "(coughs, gasping) You're right. Perhaps it's time for a change in strategy."
Amanda (Annie)
(quietly) Oh no.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(quickly) I dash!
[SFX: Splash of water.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
As a bonus action, I dash!
Tau
He smashes this jewel on his chest...
[SFX: CRACK.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(regretting) Ohh.
Tau
...and you see all of these mechanical like telescoping parts...
[SFX: sliding metal on metal while digital beeps and clips punctuate.]
Tau
...just folding out from behind him in the shape of these giant metallic wings.
Amanda (Annie)
(nervous) Huh.
Tau
You see a metallic tail and metallic claws emerging from him and Pelops is now a (laughing) gargantuan dragon.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf becomes Giancarlo Herrera, looks up at the sky, and says "I'm sorry, what?"
Tau
(laughs) He's a Dragoon. I have been, I have been telegraphing that for a very long time.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
A Dragoon?
Tau
Yeah.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
That's wild. Okay.
Tau
Yeah.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(wheezing) What the fuck?
Tau
I mean, he's still badly injured.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, yeah yeah.
Tau
But there is a giant steel dragon in front of you with all these LEDs and like blue glowy lights coming out. It's got these like electrical dragon eyes but it's also got these various tiny little nodes like underneath all of its metallic scales as plating.
Michael (Arete)
Arete turns into Michael Pisante and goes "Oh my gosh, I love phantasmic!"
Tau
Yes, sure. We all love a good reveal, heyyyyy. All right. So that's what he does. Annie, it is your turn.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"(croaking) Annie, please."
Players
(laughs)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Annie, PLEEASE!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
No! You had yours--
Tau
Oh, so here's another thing that happened. He lets out a roar but I don't think this affects you all. So all of you would have to make a very hard save against being frightened.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
We're immune, babey!
Amanda (Annie)
Wait, we're immune to being frightened?
Tau
Yeah. Anyway, he lets out this frightful roar...
[SFX: A metallic ROAR with a deep undercurrent, almost like a cross between 1992 Mechagodzilla and a Mass Effect Reaper.]
Tau
...but all you feel, palms get sweaty, your arms are heavy, your knees are weak but you feel mom's spaghetti bolstering you against this frightful roar. So yeah, that's what happens. But this would be terrifying to anybody who's not swimming in 15 boons from the gods.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughs) Yeah.
Amanda (Annie)
Sure.
Tau
Annie, it's your turn.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie's just gonna look at this Dragoon and be like, "(small breath) What the shit?" Aaand, "Alex, are you dying?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I am not looking good."
Amanda (Annie)
"Really? Wow, that's I didn't expect this. Okay!" And Annie's gonna like run over kind of excitedly over to Alex
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
..and (laughs) use, use another, her last fourth level cure wounds.
[SFX: Viol plucks lower notes for the spell over the bassy techno music.]
Amanda (Annie)
That is a 26.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Beautiful."
Amanda (Annie)
And Annie is going to once again, after she cures those wounds, she's gonna ride that wave.
[SFX: The wave splashes.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
"(sighs in relief) Thank you Anastasia."
Amanda (Annie)
"Any time."
Tau
Okay, now in its dragon form, after you do that, Pelops is gonna swing his tail at you.
Amanda (Annie)
Sounds correct. Okay.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
It is a 28. Does that hit?
Nicholas (Alexander)
(mutter whisper) "Iris, Iris. Iris."
Amanda (Annie)
I mean even with Iris, "Iris." Sure.
[SFX: The Iris boon gleam chimes and the dice rolls.]
Tau
This time he only gets a... 26?
Amanda (Annie)
Okay, yeah, that still hits.
Tau
Okay, you take 19 bludgeoning damage as this tail swipes at you.
[SFX: Heavy metallic THUNK.]
Amanda (Annie)
"(gutteral cry) Okay."
Tau
Pelops is going to... spin its head around and fire a lightning breath at all of you. Everybody needs to make a dexterity saving throw and I'm going to tell you it is a harder DC than it was in the past because this is his dragon form.
Amanda (Annie)
(worried) Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
18.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Aw. 12.
Michael (Arete)
Oof. 16 from Arete.
Amanda (Annie)
(depressed) 11 for Annie.
Tau
Everybody takes 71 lightning damage
[SFX: Electricity arcs out, high pitched and harsh.]
Amanda (Annie)
(gasps)
Michael (Arete)
71?
Tau
Yes.
Michael (Arete)
That is the exact number you needed to--
Tau
So, well sorry 68.
Michael (Arete)
Oh.
Amanda (Annie)
(numbly) 68.
Michael (Arete)
'Cause 71 is what I had left which is really funny. "(weakly) Athena!"
[SFX: The toll of the Athena boon.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf descends into the blood...
[SFX: SPLAT.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
...and you see one hand sinking in before it like crunches into a fist and he jumps back out of the blood.
Tau
You terminator out. Alright.
Amanda (Annie)
(laughs)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
As he comes back with eight hit points.
Amanda (Annie)
Uh, yeah Annie died too.
[SFX: Wet explosion of the Blood.]
Amanda (Annie)
I don't think she's gonna be as dramatic...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(quietly blows a rasberry)
Amanda (Annie)
...as Rolf but she's definitely gonna like hit the ground and then just like come right back up " (gasp, cough) Okay. Okay. I still don't like it. (panicked giggling) I still don't like dying. Okay, wow."
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alexander is on the ground, gets zapped with the lightning and then the auto injector goes all beepbeepbeep...
[SFX: Glass breaking.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
... "(yells from his gut)" and he is gonna come back with some flying movement and fly to attack him with the sword.
Tau
Okay.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Would a 15 land?
Tau
It would not.
Amanda (Annie)
Whaaat?
Nicholas (Alexander)
(gasp) Uh, would... (laughs)
Tau
I mean he's still looks in bad shape...
Nicholas (Alexander)
Wow.
Tau
...like you could probably kill him if you could land hits but.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Except I can't. 15 and a 13.
Tau
Those do not hit, no.
Nicholas (Alexander)
And he'll bonus action, try to dash into it, I guess, while flying.
[SFX: Wave splash.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
That's all I could do.
Tau
Okay, he will instantly pass any strength save you throw at him. I'm just gonna let you know.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Okay.
Tau
So there's not gonna be knocked back by the Poseidon wave.
Nicholas (Alexander)
As long as I have my AC.
Tau
Yeah, okay, he is going to beat his wings at you..
[SFX: Thick flapping.]
Tau
...make a dexterity saving throw Alexander.
[SFX: Swipe.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Dex? God damn. 16.
Tau
So that does not succeed.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(sigh)
Tau
You take 17 bludgeoning damage and you are knocked prone.
[SFX: A thunk as Alexander hits the ground.]
Michael (Arete)
Alexander next to him, Arete will try to sneak around to the rear of the dragon and he will... ooh that doesn't hit. 10 surely does not hit.
Tau
It does not.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Jesus fuck, guys.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Our dice aren't working.
Michael (Arete)
Amanda, we need your weighted dice.
Amanda (Annie)
I have been using D&D Beyond, so I don't--
Nicholas (Alexander)
Me too.
Michael (Arete)
We need your weighted computer!
Amanda (Annie)
Haha.
Michael (Arete)
Arete tried to stab with La Voix but it just kind of like glanced off the armored plated tail of the dragon...
[SFX: Metal swiping metal.]
Michael (Arete)
..and he will then use a bonus action to disengage, "(ragged)Hermes shield me."
Tau
Okay, going to make a tail attack at you.
Michael (Arete)
Okay.
Tau
It is only a 15. Oh I'm sorry 25.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(short laugh) Only. Iris?
Michael (Arete)
"Iris!"
[SFX: Iris boon chime.]
Tau
He attacks with disadvantage...
Michael (Arete)
(hoarse) Pleeease.
Tau
Uh that is higher... by quite a bit.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Why has this happened every. Single. Time. Oh my god. This guy!
Michael (Arete)
Okay, yeah, it hits.
Tau
Alright. You take 17 bludgeoning damage.
[SFX: Metallic THUNK.]
Michael (Arete)
Okay, I mean, I die.
[SFX: Bloody splatter, the liquid bubbles.]
Michael (Arete)
And then as the blood was coming up Arete goes, "No, no, no! Not yet, not yet!" and uses death defiance...
[SFX: A bell tolls.]
Michael (Arete)
...and comes back with 10 HP.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Anastasia, it's now or never." How bad does he look?
Tau
Very.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay. As in, like one incredible hit could maybe take him out?
Tau
If we're talking one incredible hit like Alexander's first turn, yes.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Okay, cool.
Michael (Arete)
Like, that was damage in the hundreds.
Tau
Yeah.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah. But there's a chance. There's a chance
Giancarlo (Rolf)
All right, so here's, I'm about to do something that will let me try my best to maximize how much damage I'm doing.
[SFX: The techno music pivots to low electric bass notes.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Mhmm.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
But if we don't kill him before his next turn, I am going to die.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Daddy's got you.
[SFX: The bass turns to electric guitar with the occasionally high pitched whirring as the intense opening credits music comes in.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay. All right. And Rolf stands up, finishes wiping the rest of the blood off his robes, whatever he's wearing, he's, he doesn't even know, he's tattered at this point. And consider switching tactics and says "(sotto) No, no, no, no. Too good." And so Rolf is going to hold his left hand out toward Pelops, while the right one charges up some of the red lightning. You see the two blood crystals dislodge and fly back...
[SFX: Fwoomf. Fwoomf.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
...dealing four fire damage each.
Tau
Okay.
[SFX: Electricity buzzes.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
So he takes eight damage. As he holds those two kind of levitating crystals rotating in a circle, slams them together into the lightning and casts another witch bolt out at Pelops. That is a 23 plus five.
Tau
That hits.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And so of course, "Olympus! Finish this heretic."
[SFX: Boon cascade.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I'm going to expend a sorcery point to reroll one of the threes. I can do that using empowered spell for damage. Turning it into a 12! So that puts us at (laughs) 32 right now, plus a three. I'm going to spend another point to reroll that, into a 10! 42 plus nine, 51 plus seven, 58 plus three. I'm gonna reroll that, expend another sorcery point. It's a one. I'm gonna expend another one. That's five sorcery points. That's an eight. Doing 66 lightning damage.
[SFX: Boom of lightning.]
Tau
Okay, you do that. More than two thirds of what was remaining is just immediately blasted away from him.
[SFX: Electricity sparks, metal groans.]
Tau
You see metal sheets just flying off of him and there's just this wirey dragon exoskeleton that's remaining that's just like howling and this kind of very staticky howl.
[SFX: Howl like a Mass Effect Reaper meets MechaGodzilla.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I like to imagine he's just stuck in the casting position like, hair flowing back as he's holding that on him. "Finish him!"
Michael (Arete)
(low gravel voice) Once more the sith will rule the galaxy.
Tau
(laughing) Yeah. Does that conclude your turn?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And then a little dash on the circle to raise that AC.
[SFX: Wave splash.]
Tau
"(gasping, ragged) Why do you do this? Why do you serve these cruel masters?" Annie it is your turn.
Amanda (Annie)
Um, I have, wha--
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Finish it!"
Michael & Giancarlo
(laughs)
Tau
Oh my god, he's like trying to have this like soulful moment. He's like this poor guy who has been chopped up and served as literal dinner... (overlapping) to the gods for helping you...
Nicholas (Alexander)
I'm not feeling sorry for this asshole.
Tau
And you're like "Finish him! Drag her!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
Drag her! I did not feel sorry we did not want to fight you, okayyy.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Pelops is hashtag...
Giancarlo & Nicholas
Canceled. (laughs)
Michael (Arete)
(laughing) Pelops is cancelled party?
Tau
I'm pro Pelops, in case you couldn't tell.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I was too!
Tau
I mean look at you guys. Like all, like you guys know what he's been through. And he's still like, and you guys are still just like, yeah, these people who like ate you up, let's just like take their boons and (mocking) wooo.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Nope, I don't-
Tau
(mocking) Let's be pals.
Nicholas (Alexander)
I don't feel bad.
Michael (Arete)
I mean, did they know they were eating him?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
We'll talk about it in After the Blood.
Tau
Yeah, all right. Annie, it's your turn.
Amanda (Annie)
Um, this feels, ah, this feels really, I don't--
Nicholas (Alexander)
(sighs)
Amanda (Annie)
I'm sorry, I--
Nicholas (Alexander)
"(growling) Annie, now!"
Amanda (Annie)
Oh!
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Kill him!"
Amanda (Annie)
"Oh now you want me--"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Attack!"
Amanda (Annie)
"Now you want--"
Tau
You have six seconds to make a move.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie's gonna stab--
Nicholas (Alexander)
Stab?
Amanda (Annie)
Uh. What?
Nicholas (Alexander)
You don't have lightning kaboom?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Boom boom babey!
Tau
Six... Five...
Amanda (Annie)
No.
Tau
Four.
Amanda (Annie)
That was a, I'm gonna stab--
Tau
Three.
Amanda (Annie)
--Pelops.
Tau
Okay. Make your roll.
Amanda (Annie)
And that's a natural 20.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oo!
Tau
Nice. That crits.
Amanda (Annie)
Awesome and...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Don't forget additional die as well.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yes, please.
Amanda (Annie)
Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I think we got him boys, I think we got him.
Amanda (Annie)
One, two, three, four...
Nicholas (Alexander)
I don't know, not yet. It's a fucking knife.
Tau
He's up next. So...
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah, yeah. Don't don't...
Amanda (Annie)
Uhhh. 17 plus 14...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Doubled?
Amanda (Annie)
Oh, uh no, double that.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Oo.
Tau
So what is the final amount?
Amanda (Annie)
I'm adding in my head.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
31... 62!
Amanda (Annie)
62.
Tau
(sad) Annie describe finishing off--
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(yelling) YEEEEES!!!
Tau
--Pelops.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"(aggressively) Annie put that fucker in a jar!"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"PUT HIM IN THE JAR!"
Amanda (Annie)
"Wait. Woah."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Put that fucker in a jar!"
Amanda (Annie)
"Woah!"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
The skin peels away from Rolf as he holds the lightning "THE JAR, ANASTASIA!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
"No, wait, this doesn't feel right! No!"
Amanda (Annie)
"He was just- no, no!" Annie--
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"DO IT!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughing) Can I?
Michael (Arete)
(laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
Annie pulls out Resonata. Annie, and Annie just...Annie can't do that to him.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(disappointed) Awww.
Amanda (Annie)
And Annie doesn't think that Pelops deserves being put into the jar so she just finishes him and... she looks away. She doesn't look happy about it but she does finish, finish the job.
[SFX: A bloody SLICE into Pelops.]
Tau
You do feel the jar vibrating in your pockets but you ignore it as you get inspiration, which I don't, I know how much time to use, but I think that's a very good character choice.
Amanda (Annie)
(gently) Thank you.
Tau
As you finish off Pelops with Resonata, you see butterflies explode from Resonata...
[SFX: BOOM. The music turns soft, acoustic guitar.]
Tau
...and they just float all through his like scale plating and all the scale plating just flies away piece by piece by piece. And inside of that wire casing, you see actual Pelops. And he just kind of crashes to the ground, unconscious. And then you hear...
[SFX: Glass breaks. The hiss of the autoinjector.]
Tau
...and he goes invisible.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Um, is he evil?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Perception check? (laughs)
Tau
There's a giant diamond...
[SFX: Gate glimmer.]
Tau
...and there is a gate showing a crystal globe with stairs.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Oh my god, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Uh. Okay, I'm going to use defined sense to detect good and evil.
Tau
Okay.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Do I, do I see him?
Tau
What things does detect good and evil find?
Nicholas (Alexander)
As an action, you can detect good and evil until the end of your next turn, you can see anything affected by the hollow spell or know the location of any celestial, fiend, undead within 60 feet that is not behind total cover... You can use this feature five times per long rest.
[SFX: Closing credits intense tone fades in.]
Tau
You do not sense any of those things. If you can detect good and evil, you do detect some evil taking root...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Uh huh.
Tau
...in your own soul and that of your comrades as well.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf walks over to the diamond and points at it and looks at Anastasia waiting for her to pick it up.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie quietly goes over and she picks it up.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
As she does he puts a hand on her shoulder and says "He would have done the same to you... without a second thought."
Amanda (Annie)
Annie's gonna look at Rolf and say... "Okay?"
Tau
I mean, that's debatable, right? Because that would just be bringing you to another god.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Well, if he had the equivalent, he would have done it.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Or he would have killed us all, damned us all again."
[SFX: Low bass notes underlining harp notes.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"He started it. We finish it."
Amanda (Annie)
"I think, I think... I don't understand just because I didn't put him in the jar. I still finished him."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"We're going to see him again. You understand that? If we don't finish this, we're going to see this fool again. Anastasia, you died here today. Do you understand that?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Enough Alexander."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"That brain you have--"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"(firmly) Alexander. Enough."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"No! That mind of a child is slowing us down. From now on you earn your damn place in this Olympiad."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"That mind of a child kept us alive."
Amanda (Annie)
"No, it's okay."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"(growing in intensity) We are the only only strength we have in this place. Understand that turning against us will not help you Alexander. Stay in line."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I'm not turning against anyone. I'm telling her to earn her place in this damn Olympiad."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"And she did."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"And do the right thing."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I agree with you. It was the right thing to do. She will not make the same mistake again."
Amanda (Annie)
"Don't make him any promises." And Annie's gonna walk up the steps.
[SFX: Slow, heavy footsteps.]
Michael (Arete)
Arete has been silent watching this. While polishing and cleaning La Voix, he sheaths La Voix...
[SFX: Metal scrapes.]
Michael (Arete)
...and runs over to Annie and kind of just puts a hand on her shoulder as she walks away.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
As they walk away, I assume Rolf and Alexander are left behind.
Tau
Mhmm.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And he's gonna put a hand on Alex's shoulder and say "I am with you. But you will catch more flies with honey, Alexander. We are all we have. Do not alienate our only allies."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"(growly sigh) I hate the smell of that lounge." I'm gonna walk... away I guess.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf follows.
Tau
Like to the gate or...
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah, to the gate.
Tau
Alright, there's a globe on the gate with a set of stairs on the icon.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie touches it.
[SFX: Glass breaks and stone slides up.]
Tau
All right shatters and then you see a staircase with a bluish green light coming down from it.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh, Annie walks up.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Welcome home, Alexander." And Rolf walks up to Elysium.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"(longing) Elysium. I am here." He walks up.
Michael (Arete)
Arete takes a final look behind him. And Arete casts his eyes up the stairs and walks up.
[SFX: Footsteps on stone.]
Tau
You make your way up the stairs to Elysium, leaving Asphodel behind you. And that's where we'll end our session.
Amanda (Annie)
Yayyyy. (claps)
Nicholas (Alexander)
(sighs, relieved) By the skin of our... dicks, we made it.
Tau & Players
(laughs)
[SFX: Outro music.]
ROGUE RUNNERS Volume 1: In the Blood, stars our players Nicholas Benetatos as Alexander the Great, Amanda Facosta as Anastasia Pantazis, Giancarlo Herrera as Rolf Yannik, and Michael Pisani as Arete Laskaris. Dungeon Mastering and NPC voices are by me, Tau Zaman. Cover art by Chandler Candela. Audio editing by Roshan Singh Sambhi. Sound design and editing by Giancarlo Herrera. Title music by Sage G.C., with vocals by Jessica Dahlgren and Sage G.C. Character theme music by Giorgio Volpe. Additional music by Epidemic Sound. Transcription by Eli Barraza.
If you liked what you heard, we hope you’ll consider helping us make future tabletop parodies of your favorite stories. You can support us at Patreon, on patreon.com/roguerunradio. Patrons get access to our community Discord channel, as well as our behind-the-scenes chatcast Out of the Blood, where we talk about everything on our minds after the episode.
There are free ways to support the show too: we hope you’ll leave us a glowing review on your listening app of choice, as well as spread the good word about us on Twitter and Instagram, where you can follow us @RogueRunRadio. We love hearing from you, so hit us up there, or email us at RR@whisperforge.org. We’re very proud to be in the Whisperforge
collective, and hope you’ll check out our other shows.
Get ready to run with us soon, new episodes drop every two weeks. ‘Til next time, sinners. I’ll see you in hell.