Volume 1: In the Blood Ep. 19 - Tisiphone, the Fury
TRANSCRIPT - In the Blood Ep. 19 - Tisiphone, the Fury
Tau
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Tau
You’re listening to a parody that is not affiliated with or endorsed by Supergiant Games in any way, we’re just big ol’ nerds making improv fanfiction.
ROGUE RUNNERS is...rated R, for pretty much everything you can find in Greek Mythology: violence, assault, self-harm, offensive language, insensitive humor, and intense themes. We encourage everyone to check out our show notes and transcripts on our website at Whisperforge.org. Are you ready to run? Then welcome to Volume 1: In the Blood.
[SFX: Intro music.]
Tau
(dramatic sigh) "Since you gave me the nectar, it's Pelops. But I don't understand why it matters."
Michael (Arete)
"Wait a second."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(gasps)
Nicholas (Alexander)
Ohhhh.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"It does matter. It does matter. Wait, shh."
Amanda (Annie)
"Ahhh. Oh my--"
Nicholas (Alexander)
Woah, it is Pelops.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I think... I think it matters, hold up."
Amanda (Annie)
"It does matter. Rolf, it does, Rolf!"
Tau
As Rolf opens up 16 menus trying to get to... like--
[SFX: Pages flipping.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Tau
The journal entry, like the codex entry.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf does, he pulls out a little leather bound journal.
Michael (Arete)
"I think we met your father dude."
Amanda (Annie)
(through gritted teeth) ARETE!
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Wait.
Tau
Does Arete say that?
Michael (Arete)
Yes.
Tau
Okay, you see no expression...
Tau
...but you just see the black visor reflecting the boiling Styx.
Amanda (Annie)
No!
[SFX: The gentle roll of the Styx.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Pelops. Listen, I'm not asking you to make a value judgment on what I'm about to tell you. It is up to you to make your own peace with it. All I know is yes, we ran into your father and your father asked me to tell you that he was sorry."
Tau
Make a persuasion check with disadvantage.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oh, that's a seven.
Tau
Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And 21. So seven.
Tau
You stare into the inscrutable black visor of the champion of Hephaestus. And then, effortlessly...
[SFX A quick whipping nyoom.]
Tau
...he leaps 90 feet across to the other gate. He smashes the globe...
[SFX: Gentle CLINK.]
Tau
...and goes into the gate.
[SFX: Sliding metal and stone.]
Michael (Arete)
"Nice to meet you too, charming."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Alright. I should have figured that might be a little inconvenient to hear. But oh, well."
Michael (Arete)
"Anybody ever heard the phrase don't shoot the messenger? Geez."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Well, to be fair, he didn't shoot us."
Tau
Would you have liked him to?
Michael (Arete)
Yeah, I would have loved--
Nicholas (Alexander)
Do not tempt the DM.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I would like to roll Arcana to see if there's any sort of illusory effect going on. God fuck, a one, seven.
Tau
You're not able to perceive any illusions here.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie would like to just make a perception check and see if there's anything else on this little cliff?
Tau
Sure. So you're specifically trying to perceive the platform?
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, but Annie got a six so I'm not sure how well that went.
Tau
You don't see a whole lot on the platform.
Amanda (Annie)
"I don't see a whole lot on this platform, y'all."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"The easy resource wasting way to do it is to wade in, die, and then fly across."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"No, no."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"However, I do not want to do that."
Amanda (Annie)
Well...
Michael (Arete)
(jokingly intense) "Embrace the blood."
Nicholas (Alexander)
May I investigate?
Tau
What would you like to investigate?
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah, I don't know what I'm looking for. But something to help us.
Tau
Okay. So you want to make a general like Perception check to look around? Tell me anything your looking for.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Struts or a rope. 16.
Tau
Okay, while you don't find rope, what you do find...
[SFX: Curious string music plays.]
Tau
...is you find a small little inscription that says the Ordeal of Medea.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Oh, it's the blood of the babies."
Michael (Arete)
(gasps)
Nicholas (Alexander)
Oh.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Oh, we have to kill the child."
Amanda (Annie)
Huh?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
As Rolf puts his hands over Annie's ears.
Tau & Giancarlo
(laughs)
Tau
The only way to exit this room is to sacrifice Annie.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughing) Breathe these vapors, girl.
Amanda (Annie)
(amused) Woah, woah, WOAH.
Tau
Alright, yeah, so you found that inscription that says the Ordeal of Medea which reminds you that you had previously got, been in a room that said the Ordeal of Oizys on it.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"So Oizys was about avoiding the depression. Madea is about avoiding..."
Michael (Arete)
"Anger?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Your husband? Man, that Jason. What a bastard huh?"
Michael (Arete)
"Oh my goodness. Absolutely. The themes of the day are like revenge, anger..."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yeah."
Michael (Arete)
"Or..."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Forgiveness? Could we twist it that way? Do we need to forgive someone?"
Michael (Arete)
"I don't know."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Ohhh shit. Pelops didn't forgive his dad and now we're fucked. This was a very fitting room to be with Pelops in."
Michael (Arete)
"Hey, we don't know what he's doing. Maybe. Hey, Gods? I think I think he went to forgive his father. And that's where he ran off to. He was just so excited to see him and he ran off without saying anything and that's whyy, so you just let us cross this and we'll call it even."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Could I roll a history check to see if I remember any like aspects of Medea's story that might seem relevant?
Tau
Yes.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(disappointed) 11.
Tau
You don't remember a whole lot about Medea other than whispers that she was a witch who specialized in illusion.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Ahhh, I was on to something at the beginning!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Wha- how do you know?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I think there's some illusions in here." And I stare at Alexander.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I'm looking at three of them right now."
Michael (Arete)
Arete will say, "Poseidon, aid me in my dash," and then Arete will do a dash of regular distance, and then dash twice the distance as the bonus action using the Poseidon wave to...
[SFX: WOOSH.]
Michael (Arete)
...ride across and get to the other side.
Tau
Okay, so you do that, you ride a wave the entire 90 feet, and you land at the gate on the other side, a gate showing a pomegranate. While you're riding across, you notice that there is actually another gate that you passed on the way here. So you didn't see it while you were on the initial platform. But you definitely felt yourself passing a gate on the way so almost like an illusory or like somehow hidden or invisible gate. So you see a pomegranate on this gate in front of you. But you know that there is another gate along the way. Additionally, while that wave was carrying you along, what everybody else saw was that there was a long, like extremely thin winding platform that was like getting like wet for a moment that people could actually like, it's like solid ground to move across. But then it immediately like dried up and became invisible again.
Michael (Arete)
And Arete shouts on the other side, "Hey! Hey, this gates of pomegranate. And there's another gate somewhere in this windy thing that y'all saw when I crossed over, but I don't know what it was."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
It's an Indiana Jones. It's is there sand I can throw on the walkway?
Nicholas (Alexander)
Did Pelops smash the pomegranate gate?
Tau
He did smash the pomegranate gate and go through, it's still there now. Like, it can basically reset for you.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf is gonna take his quarterstaff and like prod at the ground, kind of where he thought he saw that pathway to see if there's some solid ground...
[SFX: Tentative tapping.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
that he can slowly make his way across.
Tau
Yeah, so there's a couple of things I'm gonna allow you to do here now that you've kind of seen what the setup of the room is. So you saw this path drawn out for ninety feet by Arete when he rode the wave, and you can make a history check to try to recall what that path was. Alternatively, you could try doing the prodding business with the staff, but it will be extremely slow and you'd be walking over magma for a long time, which might come with other consequences.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Gotcha. Let's roll that history. 23!
Tau
You are pretty confident that you know exactly all of the twists and turns. It would be like walking over a minefield. But you just, you're confident that you can tell.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Alright. I do it and I try to get a good look of the gate along the way
Tau
You go (light grunts and whips through the air), like the spry old man just hoppin' with his little joints. You feel like Ruyi Jingu Bang, you're like using it as like a walking stick.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Very Rafiki.
Tau
Yeah, very Rafiki-esque, right.
Michael (Arete)
(laughs)
Tau
As you cross, I will say you don't see a gate revealed to you doing this because the wave did not reveal a gate. But do you want to stop in the middle and look for one? Or do you want to just go all the way to the pom gate?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Could I roll like investigation as I'm going without necessarily stopping in the middle?
Tau
You could but it's going to take up a little brain power and remembering this path since you saw it, you kind of have to act on it somewhat quickly. Or it might become more difficult to remember as you kind of go along.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Sure. "Follow me!" And yeah, I'm gonna roll it. But priority is absolutely on the path. If I don't see it, I don't see it.
Tau
Okay. Oh, yeah, roll it.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
19!
Tau
You feel like you almost would have seen it, but you you don't have any way of seeing it. So you don't see a gate. You thought maybe you could reach over and feel something but that might like unbalance you and throw you off the platform. So you just don't, so you just keep moving. And you it's basically like running across hot coals or hot magma...
[SFX: Quick footsteps.]
Tau
...but you very quickly get to the other side and join Arete on the opposite side.
Amanda (Annie)
Okay, that's a 25.
Tau
Combined with seeing the wave clear the path the first time and then seeing how Rolf moved, you feel like you could cross the platform pretty safely.
Amanda (Annie)
Okay. "Hey, Alex. All right, take my hand." and I'm gonna, I'm gonn alead us across.
[SFX: DING.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Wait, wait for us!
[SFX: Running footsteps.]
Tau
Annie gets inspiration. And you are all at the gate all the other side which shows a pomegrante.
Michael (Arete)
"Anybody catch that, that other gate?"
Amanda (Annie)
"Nope."
Michael (Arete)
"That, uh..."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(tired) "Is it worth it?"
Michael (Arete)
"I kind of saw as I was riding that Poseidon wave."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Well, Arete, you seem to have no difficulty dashing across. So why don't you just do that until you can see it?"
Michael (Arete)
"Well, since we're assuming there's some sort of illusion at work here, that would just that would suggest magic. Anybody got a like a cancel magic kind of spell going on?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I do not have dispel magic."
Nicholas (Alexander)
(sighs) "I... I might have a spell to find it but I'd hate to waste on..." Locate object. The spell can locate a specific object known to you as long as you've seen it up close within 30 feet, I don't know if that still applies.
Tau
So while you cannot locate a thing you haven't seen, you do realize that you could probably try to locate object on like the crystal globe...
Nicholas (Alexander)
Ohh.
Tau
...that is attached to every gate right...
[SFX: Sonar PING.]
Tau
...and you immediately get a ping for where it, is so you know where it is.
Nicholas (Alexander)
I know where it is.
Tau
It's directly midway along the path, 45 feet.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Hey, if it's hidden there's gotta be something good there right?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Well, take us to it. Hold up is the hammer here?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Actually, I know where it is. It's halfway across."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"The hammer?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yeah."
Tau
You don't see the hammer.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Oh god, Pelops took the Daedalus Hammer. All right. Well, Alex if you know where it is then by all means please go, go pop that gate."
Tau
You could also try to locate object on the Daedalus hammer.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Haha. That'd be my last... there'll be no divine smites in the fight and that will suck.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Go.. go give the globe a press and let's see what happens."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Right. Who remembers how to get halfway across?"
Amanda (Annie)
Annie does.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Annie, would do mind leading us halfway across the bridge?"
Amanda (Annie)
"Sure, I could do that."
[SFX: Footsteps.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Follow the good girl, everyone."
Michael (Arete)
(singing softly) Meet me halfway.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Alright."
Tau
You feel your way to a crystal globe and also there's the Daedalus hammer there at the bottom of it, invisible
Michael (Arete)
Whew!
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Here's the hammer."
[SFX: Glimmery chime and clink of the hammer.]
Michael (Arete)
Ooo.
Nicholas (Alexander)
I'm gonna pick it up.
Tau
All right, which boon are you taking from the hammer?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Do we remember what the different things we got were?
Tau
So there's attack, special, or miscellaneous.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Let's see what the special does.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
All right.
Michael (Arete)
Yayyy.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Special.
Tau
Is everybody agreed on the Daedalus special?
Michael (Arete)
Yes, we'll take your special please, with some extra sauce on the side. (laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
Yes.
Tau
Certainly. So this is quite literally some extra sauce on the side. Like that is very literal because here's what the Daedalus special does. It is called Blast Nova. And the way it works is anytime you do a single target damage to someone, it immediately deals that damage again to all--
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(gasps)
Nicholas (Alexander)
Adjacent targets. So it will deal to Megara's hench...men.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yes.
Tau
If they're adjacent to her.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yes.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And this is for any damage?
Tau
Any single target damage that you do. So you can't be like thunder wave, thunder wave.
Amanda (Annie)
Right.
Tau
Right? It's not like, it's not it's not like you do 765 damage in a turn. But anytime you do like a single attack, like for example like, so like acid splash would not count for it--
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah but firebolt would
Tau
Firebolt would.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay, gotcha. "Excellent. I think that's dope as hell."
Amanda (Annie)
"I like it!"
Michael (Arete)
"I agree."
Tau
But do we get the sauce on the side?
[SFX: Ba Dum Bum.]
Amanda (Annie)
Nice.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Ah, I get it, literally on the side cuz adjacency.
Amanda (Annie)
That's a pun.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah. "Oh my, this walkway is very warm."
Nicholas (Alexander)
Okay. And I think the orb is here, I'm gonna press.
[SFX: Stone and metal scrape against each other.]
Tau
Alright, press the orb. A gate slides up or you hear that and then there is just...
[SFX: Roiling liquid.]
Tau
a lava in front of you so... or like boiling or rather boiling blood in front of you. So, you walking on in?
Michael (Arete)
Arete is gonna take a leap of faith and jump into where he heard the portal open.
Amanda (Annie)
Wha!
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Ahhhh.
Tau
You leave it to where the portal opens.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Do we see anything happen?
Nicholas (Alexander)
I realized I don't know the reward of this, uh, gate.
[SFX: Splash.]
Tau
You see Arete vanish.
Amanda (Annie)
Um.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Ahhh. I mean, hey, if Arete would die, I think we'd hear it...
[SFX: Splash.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
...all the blood would like splatter on our face.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie jumps in.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, yeah, I'll jump in also.
[SFX: Splash.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
I jump in.
[SFX: Splash.]
Tau
All right.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
You all take 20d8 fire damage.
Tau
(chuckles) All right, you find yourself in the shop again.
Amanda (Annie)
(gasps) Okay.
Nicholas (Alexander)
The same one?
Tau
You see the same items on sale minus the Daedalus hammer and you also see a gate...
[SFX: A low bass note sounds.]
Tau
...which has a skull and crossbones on it.
Amanda (Annie)
Ahhhh!
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I don't think we've gotten any obols.
Michael (Arete)
But does the room have obols? And Arete takes a look around and he rolls a 20.
Tau
Alright, you find a bag of 300 obols.
[SFX: Glimmery chime.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Dusty dust!
Michael (Arete)
Arete pocket--
Nicholas (Alexander)
Dust it, dust, dustit!!
Tau
I should be clear, it's sitting directly behind the casket so you're picking that up.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(firmly) Dust it.
Michael (Arete)
Well, before I pick it up, I pull out the harpies feather duster and I just tinkle it along to replicate it.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I'm glad to see that you have increased the yield of that by 60 coins, beautiful. However, should we maybe be questioning who these obols belong to?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"No."
Amanda (Annie)
"Waaait. Yes to definitely questioning but I mean if we need them..."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"How about we take the 60 that we just created..."
Nicholas (Alexander)
(dramatic sigh)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"...and use those and leave the 300?"
Amanda (Annie)
"Is that allowed?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I grabbed them all."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Okay."
Amanda (Annie)
"Is that allowed?"
Tau
Doesn't matter because Alexander is holding 360 obols.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Thank you. (with effort) Let's get this to the counter."
[SFX: THUNK of setting down the obols.]
Amanda (Annie)
"Okay..."
Michael (Arete)
"I think we have enough to buy whatever was left at the shop."
Tau
But are you buying everything in the shop?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
If we can, yeah. "Well, well, little little info from my reading of Zagreus' escape attempts. There is a shop after we defeat Meg, at least for Zagreus there was."
Michael (Arete)
"What's left in the shop again?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
'Yeah let's see what's on display."
[SFX: Glimmery tones.]
Tau
So you have a pomegranate, you have gemstones, you have a centaur heart, darkness, food, Cthonic key.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I think centaur... pomegranates..."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yeah I think we might as well just buy it all guys."
Amanda (Annie)
"Yeah?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"That's my feeling."
Tau
You don't have enough to buy everything
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"We might as well buy all we can, guys."
Michael (Arete)
"275 for key, centaur heart, and pom."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I'm happy with that."
[SFX: Glimmer chime.]
Amanda (Annie)
"Yeah."
Tau
Okay, so add a Cthonic key to your inventory...
[SFX: Glimmer chime. Heartbeat.]
Tau
...add temporary hit points equal to your max hit die plus constitution modifier and then tell me what boon you're boosting.
[SFX: Glimmer chime.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Uncle Poseidon, little little Hades."
Michael (Arete)
The common survivability, which is the wavedash plus two AC wins.
Tau
Okay it is now plus three.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay.
Nicholas (Alexander)
I knew it.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Not bad.
Nicholas (Alexander)
But for you guys that's better.
Michael (Arete)
Eh, you know.
Tau
I don't know if you guys know this but legendary items don't even give you a plus three to AC.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Tau
Like.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
That's a big deal.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"So be sure to dash after your attacks every time and we should be okay."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Um, okay, well we are about to face presumably Meg, who knows who's in there."
Amanda (Annie)
"Oh, geez."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Shall we have a game plan? Do we think it'd be wise to move, like stay separate? Move in a formation?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Think the spellcasters attack from different angles. And it seems that Arete, you get bonuses near someone so I will stick with you."
Michael (Arete)
"I agree."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"All right. Annie, are you ready to dash, dash around? (rhythmically) Dash dash dash-around. Dash, dash up and dash down. Dash dash."
Amanda (Annie)
(smilling) "Now I am. Yeah, that's awesome! Okay, let's do it."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I'm ready to wear this woman on my hip."
Amanda (Annie)
"What?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Like her head."
Amanda (Annie)
"Okay."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Like decapitation."
Tau
That is truly not what I imagined.
Amanda (Annie)
That's not what I did either. And I didn't I didn't like it.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughs)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Roll, roll seduction.
Tau
I didn't hate it. But I didn't like it.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Um, I have questions for all of you."
Michael (Arete)
"Yes."
Amanda (Annie)
"Huh."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"How do we feel about Megara? Just in general? Is she just doing her job? Is she committing a wrong? Is she committing a right? What's the uh..."
Michael (Arete)
"Are you asking if she's our nemesis?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Well... and I just wanted to open it up to the group, because should you guys fall in battle again, I could see myself committing some dark acts. So..."
Michael (Arete)
"I'm saving my jar for a very, very specific situation."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"She might just be doing her job."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"So she's a cop."
Michael (Arete)
"I was just thinking she was a leather mistress. And then this guy over here says cop. My goodness."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"If you'd like to trap her, that's okay. But I do think she is just doing her job."
Tau
I want to be clear. Also, if you've already filled something in the jar, you can't use it.
Michael (Arete)
"Maybe if you pop the lid and you kind of just shake it out. Maybe the soul of that heretic will fall out."
Tau
It just goes (pathetic Heretic laugh).
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Heretic, I forgive you." And he opens the jar.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
All right.
Tau
The soul just dissipates immediately.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Well, I'm looking for tenants."
Michael (Arete)
"What's rent like in the jar?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"You don't wanna know."
Tau
It's like a San Francisco apartment in there. It is $9 million.
Michael (Arete)
Oh God. And so tiny. I'm sure.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, it's rough. All right. Um, "Shall we, group?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Yes."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I have. I have faith in you all."
Michael (Arete)
"I have. I have faith."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"If Than, if Thanatos is here, um, run."
Michael (Arete)
"Oh."
Amanda (Annie)
"Yeah."
Michael (Arete)
"Well, I guess we're about to find out," and I will slap the orb...
[SFX: Soft clink.]
Michael (Arete)
...on the gate.
[SFX: Stone and metal sliding.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Wait, let's do it dramatic. Let's hold hands and run in together.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Uh, I wavedash and push everybody in.
[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]
Tau
You see a woman there in a pale green and purple dress.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(GASPS)
Tau
With a large purplish bluish wing and sandy yellow hair and these deep sunken bright yellow eyes. She's got her arms crossed over her chest with her whip resting in one hand.
Michael (Arete)
"You're not Megara."
Tau
She just says (shakey, vibrato noises) "Murder."
[SFX: A note from string instruments bursts periodically.]
Amanda (Annie)
"Oh."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Yeah."
Michael (Arete)
"Me?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I've heard of this one. If my life were a video game, this one would be my favorite."
Amanda (Annie)
(laughing) Same, honestly.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"She's the easiest."
Amanda (Annie)
Oh well don't hey, don't say.--
Giancarlo (Rolf)
In the game, in the game, not in dungeons and dragons.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, don't say that out loud
Giancarlo (Rolf)
In the video game Hades, she's the easiest. (laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
Oh no, we're not making it out.
Tau
Let me just make sure she's got, yes, 3000 HP.
Players
(laughing, crying out)
Tau
She goes (echoing, vibrato) "Murderer."
Michael (Arete)
"So, what's what's your name?"
Tau
(ignoring Arete, but clearer now) "Murderer."
Michael (Arete)
"What's your name, sweetie?"
Tau
(shaking) "Murderer." Roll initiative.
Michael (Arete)
"Your name is Murder?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
I mean, if she's gonna call us one, we might as well just get to it, you know?
Tau
"Murderer!" Okay so first up is the woman going "Murderer!" And she is going to fly straight into the middle of all of you.
Amanda (Annie)
No!
Michael (Arete)
Mhmm.
Tau
And then she is going to, uh, whip her massive wing around in these giant arcs around her...
[SFX: Rolls.]
Tau
It's a 17.
Tau
Yes, I'm good.
Michael (Arete)
That hits.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, that hits, definitely.
Amanda (Annie)
That hits.
Tau
Everybody who gets hit takes 10 slashing damage.
[SFX: A whirling, whipping, slashing. Followed by energetic beats slowly growing louder.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Minus three!
Nicholas (Alexander)
Ohh yeah, minus three guys.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Athena! Please. Aid me in this survival."
[SFX: A glimmer chime and small bell ding.]
Amanda (Annie)
"Aid all of us!"
Tau
A golden light shimmers around you as the wind connects and you take slightly less damage.
Michael (Arete)
Arete, taking the opportunity of having all these other targets around this woman that's been shouting murder, is going to use the Sneak Attack option to draw La Voix.
[SFX: The scrape of metal removed from its sheath.]
Michael (Arete)
"This is La Voix!" get some sneak attack damage and because there are other friendlies around. That was a critical failure.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oo.
Tau
You attempt to stab the woman. She immediately evades it. It's like child's play to her.
Michael (Arete)
I'm going to use the disengage to get that lovely plus five AC that I get.
Tau
Okay, are you moving anywhere?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Actually, everyone, if you could please get more than five feet away from Tisiphone, that would be lovely."
Michael (Arete)
Okay, okay, I disengage. Arete's just is gonna like put his hands up and kind of back up.
Tau
At the end of your turn, Arete, Tisiphone is actually going to dash at Rolf.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Ope.
Tau
So the way this works is if you take a dash or disengage action at the start of your next turn, you automatically evade the attack. Otherwise, she's gonna make a wing attack against you.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Poseidon and Hermes!" And as a bonus action, I'm going to dash through Tisiphone and see if it does anything to her with Poseidon's boon.
[SFX: A powerful PUSH.]
Tau
It probably would if she wasn't also lunging at this exact same time. So it's basically, you're, she lunges through you, you dash through her.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay, so she is not within five feet of any of my companions, yes?
Tau
No.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Then I will expend my only fourth level spell slot to cast Melf's minute meteors...
Amanda (Annie)
Oooh.
[SFX: Fwoomf.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
...with a blood crystal. Please roll a dexterity saving throw. You have to beat a 16.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
She gets a 22.
Amanda (Annie)
Whaat.
Tau
I'm sorry, I misspoke, she gets a 25.
Amanda (Annie)
Noo (grunts) Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay, you still take half damage.
Amanda (Annie)
That's great.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
So I cast Melf's minute meteors, they begin rotating around me and I'm going to send two meteors flying down toward her. And I'm going to say "Ares, aid me in my fiery conquest."
[SFX: A soft BOOM amidst the flames.]
Tau
Annie, she is going to lunge straight at you and it is your turn.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
As they do... a flat 19 as both of them explode. And I would also like to call upon "Dionysus!"
[SFX: The bottle pops and the glimmery chime descends.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
...to apply two stacks of hangover.
Amanda (Annie)
Yes, I would like to dash so kind of to the west I believe.
[SFX: Intense string music slowly fades in.]
Tau
Okay.
Amanda (Annie)
So Annie's gonna obviously pull out her viol and obviously is going to use Resonata, Conduit of the Muse. And she's going to play a song of passion and choosing up to four creatures aka myself, Alex, Rolf, and Arete, and I'm gonna roll a d8 to add to our initiative count. That's an eight plus three is 11.
Tau
Okay, now can you tell me your initiatives again? Like your actually like new initiatives.
Michael (Arete)
Arete is going to be a 23.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alex is 18.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie is a 19.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, 21.
Tau
Alexander, now because of the the song of passion, it is actually your turn next. Tisiphone is charging right at you. So if you take a dash or disengage at the start of your turn...
[SFX: The strings fade, transitioning into more electronic beats.]
Tau
...you evade it, otherwise, she will make an attack against you.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Okay, then yeah, I'm gonna use a bonus to dash out of the way.
Tau
Okay.
Nicholas (Alexander)
And now I'm going to attack her. Divine smite, a dirty 20 hit?
Tau
It does.
Nicholas (Alexander)
She is a fiend, yes?
Tau
Yes.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alexander picks up the sword...
[SFX: The shink of the sword.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
...and he goes "Ares guide my hand." And he runs up to Tisiphone and he slashes down on her for fourty three damage.
[SFX: Footsteps then a SLASH and Tisiphone cries out.]
Tau
"Murder!!!!" As you slash down on her and do a sizable amount of damage.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Does a 22 land, of course, right?
Tau
Yes.
Nicholas (Alexander)
And now he goes "Ares guide my blade! And Dionysus, guide my heart."
Michael (Arete)
Oh nice.
Nicholas (Alexander)
As I stab her in the back with my long sword.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
That's sexy.
Tau
Ouch.
Nicholas (Alexander)
And that should put two stacks of Dionysus on her. That is 31.
Tau
Now because actually our new initiative order, Arete it is your turn again.
Michael (Arete)
Arete will take advantage of her pain that she's just received from Alexander and Alexander being so close and attempt a sneak attak. Does a... 16 hit?
Tau
Exactly hits, yes.
Michael (Arete)
Love to see it and then as La Voix drives into her back, he will call out to "Ares and Dionysus aid this blade," and that does 43 damage.
Tau
Holy moly, okay. She goes (shaking, hissing) "Zagreus, Zagreus!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Who me?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I'm sorry. Once again ma'am?"
Michael (Arete)
"My name is Arete, you'll know this name because I'm gonna stab you to heck."
Amanda (Annie)
Wow.
Michael (Arete)
And with that, Arete will take the disengage action as a bonus action to gain that sweet sweet plus five AC.
Tau
From above...
[SFX: Deep bass notes come in.]
Tau
...you see Pelops crash down...
Players
(gasps)
Tau
...upon Tisiphone with his massive lance.
[SFX: A descending WOOSH, very cool.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Convenient.
Tau
All right, it is basically...
[SFX: The bass stops and the strings resume, seeming very grand.]
Tau
...like indistinguishable from lightning the way this happens because the way like, there are these like little like lights on his lance and they kind of like leave this trail of light behind him. So it actually does like create like a lightning bolt as he smashes down on her...
[SFX: The bass comes back.]
Tau
...And deals.... 42 damage.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Hoo.
Tau
Piercing. Annie, Arete, and Alexander, you're all adjacent to the crash when this happens, right?
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah.
Tau
Okay, everybody make a dexterity saving throw.
Tau
(warbling) Add four if you're next to me.
Amanda (Annie)
(warbling back) Okay.
Michael (Arete)
23 for Arete when I add the four.
Amanda (Annie)
16 for Annie.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Damn. Eight.
Tau
Okay. Arete you are unharmed. The two who fail take 15 piercing damage.
[SFX: BOOM. Alexander and Annie cry out. The bass pivots to electronic tones.]
Tau
...as you are pierced by this shockwave emanating from this crash.
Amanda (Annie)
(in pain) "Okay."
Michael (Arete)
"That was really cool, dude."
Tau
He lands on the opposite side of Tisiphone. I think it is clear that it is not his intent to harm you.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Oh yeah, we get it, we get it.
Amanda (Annie)
Sure, sure.
Tau
Collateral damage is how that works.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah yeah yeah.
Amanda (Annie)
(still in pain) "Nice to see you buddy."
Tau
Tisiphone cannot get back any of her legendary actions because she's so far back in initiative now. So actually, Rolf, it is your turn now. So instead of lunging at Rolf, Rolf can just do whatever he wants on his turn.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, I'm going to recall my blood crystals. And as they fly back to me, I'm going to infuse them into a fiery bolt as I cast fire bolt with one of those blood crystals at Tisiphone. That is a 20 to hit.
Tau
That hits.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay, so 20 to hit, I send a fireball flying toward Tisiphone...
[SFX: FWOOMF.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
...and I say "Ares, Dionysus, empower this strike."
Tau
You have the option to hurt Pelops if you like.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
No, I'm okay.
Tau
Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
So I deal 42 fire damage as this bolt of fire lodges into Tisiphone, leaving a red blood crystal there to make my next strike easier. And then I want to throw a meteor but I can't because I'll hurt my friends and so I just dash away with Poseidon's boon to raise my AC.
[SFX: Splash.]
Tau
Okay, you are about to dash away but everything goes black and you crash into a wall.
[SFX: A low reverberation.]
Tau
So the room has shrunken in size significantly
Amanda (Annie)
So Annie is gonna dash towards, closer to where Rolf is at and Annie wants to cast blindness deafness on Tisiphone. You need to roll a constitution saving throw
Tau
So that is a 19.
Amanda (Annie)
It passes. Whatever, it's fine!
Nicholas (Alexander)
I'm gonna cut at her with the long sword first time... dirty 20.
Tau
That absolutely hits.
Nicholas (Alexander)
He grabs on to her wing...
[SFX: A leathery FLAP of the wing.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
...and he stabs her in the back of the neck for 25 damage on there.
[SFX: A bloody splort.]
Tau
Dang okay. Alright, she goes (crying out) "Murderer!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yes so the second time I rolled 21.
Tau
Okay, that also hits.
Nicholas (Alexander)
And that would do 28 damage as he starts hacking at the wing I guess.
[SFX: Stab, stab, bloody stab.]
Tau
Okay, ouch.
Amanda (Annie)
(laughs)
Tau
Uhhh. This is gonna be a very quick fight. That's okay.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeeees!
Nicholas (Alexander)
And then... I would like to shove her with my dash but then like move away from her.
Tau
As you do that...
[SFX: A colliding thunk.]
Tau
...you find yourself crashing into a wall. The reason why is because everything has gone black again.
Amanda (Annie)
(whispers) Yes!
[SFX: Deep reverberation.]
Tau
And when your vision returns as green light fills the room again. She is going to leap up into the air and she's going to go "Murderers!" and a series of three blue circles are going to appear...
Michael (Arete)
No!
Tau
...underneath all of you and normally they would be spread out in a larger room but underneath all of you with this really tiny room all three circles underlap-overlap underneath you. Three dexterity saving throws each.
Amanda (Annie)
Whoa.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Add four everyone. We're in it now.
Amanda (Annie)
Ha, we're in it now.
Tau
Basically tell me any for which you do not get higher than 15.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oh boy.
Amanda (Annie)
Three in a row?
Tau
Yeah.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I failed two.
Michael (Arete)
Okay, I pass all of them.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughs, mimicking) I passed all of them.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie failed one.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alexander will fail one of those.
Tau
You take 19 force damage for each failure as green and purple flames explode underneath.
[SFX: Flames woosh out.]
Amanda (Annie)
But it's really only 16 because Athena is on our side.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Athena!"
[SFX: A glimmer chime and bell ding.]
Tau
So Pelops also has these circles appear underneath him and he just leaps up into the air and he kind of just crashes back down, leaps up crashes, leaps up crashes.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I might be in danger now friends.
Michael (Arete)
(chuckles) I'm in danger.
Nicholas (Alexander)
It's okay, you can come back to life.
Tau
Yeah.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oh, that's right. I forgot we got that back. Great. We're good.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Wait, I'm adding four Dionysus stacks that I did.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And I'm adding three.
Michael (Arete)
I had one for me.
Tau
Okay, so she also takes an additional eight damage...
[SFX: Woosh then an echoey sound.]
Tau
...she loses one hang over. Arete, it is now your turn.
Michael (Arete)
I will disengage and move-- the disengages the bonus action, the movement is my movement action for the turn. And that is my turn.
Tau
All right after that, Tisiphone is going to lunge straight at Pelops. Pelops is not going to dash away, he is going to attempt to impale her on his lance as she dashes.
Giancarlo & Nicholas
Ooo.
Tau
So let's see how this plays out.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
Oh, I- okay. He crit. So here's what happens.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Is the NPC gonna kill her??
Michael (Arete)
(laughs)
Tau
So she goes, "Murderer!" and he just holds out his lance, and she just impales herself on it immediately.
[SFX: A bloody splort.]
Tau
She takes... 82 damage to her (laughs).
Giancarlo (Rolf)
HOLY shit.
Amanda (Annie)
Wowww.
Tau
As she's impaled on the lance, she does... she didn't dodge out of the way. So she does still get to make an attack on him. But she's kind of just like flailing with her wing trying to reach him now because he's kind of just keeping her at a distance with his lance. So she's going to try to attack him. She does hit also actually. So she is going to deal 10 slashing damage to him.
Michael (Arete)
Watching this madness unfold, Arete just kind of shouts out. "Can I please get a waffle?"
Tau
Okay, she's gonna try to de-impale herself off of this lance...
[SFX: Bones crunch.]
Tau
...and she's going to lunge towards... Rolf. So Rolf, it is your turn sir.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I'm going to use my last blood crystal, infuse it into another fiery bolt and aim right for the crystal that's already lodged in her. I see it right there in the back of her ribs. And I shoot forth with a... oo! 29, with a 30 to hit.
Tau
Is it a crit, like did you roll like, what was the base number?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oh it is a crit, It's a critical, yes.
Tau
Yes. Okay. So tell me what you do. Make sure you're including crit damage.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Beautiful. "Ares, Dionysus, aid this bolt of fire!" And I'm going to do... 80 fire damage straight into Tisiphone and a stack of hangover.
[SFX: A fiery FWOOMF.]
Tau
"MURDERER!" And in this tiny, tiny chamber, it just echoes over and over and over. "Murderer-er-er-er." Everybody make a wisdom saving throw.
Nicholas (Alexander)
With advantage!
Amanda (Annie)
Advantage!
Michael (Arete)
19 with advantage for a Arete.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
24.
Amanda (Annie)
14 for Annie.
Tau
Okay, anybody who got less than a 15 takes 30 psychic damage.
Amanda (Annie)
(groans) Minus three!
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(gasps)
Nicholas (Alexander)
Woah. That would have killed me.
Tau
Anybody who saves takes 15 psychic damage.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Oh shit.
Amanda (Annie)
(croaking) "Athena, please, Athenaaa. Blegh."
Tau
So she lets out that shriek, she looks like in very very bad shape. Knowing how much damage you guys do, pretty much even like Annie smacking her with a viol would probably kill her.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oh, I was hoping that was gonna be really a cool fire death.
Amanda (Annie)
Alright, yeah, we're just gonna give her a little stabby stab. But I think I'm gonna reroll with my inspiration.
[SFX: DING.]
Amanda (Annie)
Ba ba bah, that's a worse roll.
Michael (Arete)
We hate to see it.
[SFX: A horrible scrape of a bow on string. Just awful.]
Amanda (Annie)
We hate to see it. Yeah, that's it. There's, "You got it, guys. You got it!"
Tau
Alexander, she is going to dash into you.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Oh, cool. I'll use the dash to get out of the way...
Tau
...and spin around to slice at her with the long sword... 23 lands.
[SFX: Splash.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
That does. Describe how you finish her.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah, he grabs that wing, pulls it tight and hacks the wing right off.
[SFX: A bloody slash.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
And then as she's wailing, he spins and cuts the head off as well.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(in a low voice) "Capture."
Tau
You're about to do this Alexander or that's your intent. And then you feel a powerful urge to take out your jar.
[SFX: Giancarlo claps excitedly.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(whispers) Do it do it!
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Is she worth it? Is she worthy?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"If we capture all three then there will be no bossfight here at all. There are three sisters. This four of us."
Nicholas (Alexander)
Then he will take out the jar as well. He he thinks at the last second. Yeah, maybe he should put them in the jar.
Tau
Okay, what is your spell save DC?
Nicholas (Alexander)
15.
[SFX: Dice rolls.]
Tau
You see the yellow lights and Tiffany's deep sunken eyes fade a little bit as she looks kind of confused and terrified. She goes (stilted) "Mur-der-er?" and she is sucked into the jar.
[SFX: A low sound then a pop of the lid going on. Fire burns softly in the background.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeeeesss!!!!
Nicholas (Alexander)
And I slam the lid on.
Tau
Alright, Alexander. What is your alignment?
Nicholas (Alexander)
Neutral... good.
Tau
Right, you are now true neutral.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh!
Nicholas (Alexander)
Whoa.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oh, was that a bad? I guess we did a bad. (laughs)
Tau
You're still in the tiny ass room but there is a gate.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"We did it!"
Amanda (Annie)
"We still did it!"
Michael (Arete)
"Oh my God."
Amanda (Annie)
(laughs in relief)
Tau
You see a gate that leads to, just it's a gate that shows just an icon of stairs.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(cries out, laughs in relief) Rolf is actually canonically crying on the floor.
Amanda (Annie)
"I love stairs. Do you guys want to go upstairs?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"We did it. Can we just relax here for this one?
Tau
Pelops hoists himself back up. He doesn't, he does not look good and he limps towards the gate.
[SFX: Step, drag, step, drag.]
Tau
He stabs the crystal globe with his lance. It shatters the gates slides up. He makes his way up the stairs.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Wait, Pelops!"
Tau
"What?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Thank you."
Tau
He looks back and again, he's got that helmet on. And it's just affectless and he turns around and he starts climbing up the stairs.
Amanda (Annie)
"(articulating sounds for a moment), let's go."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Alright, gang. I guess let's go."
Michael (Arete)
"Absolutely." And... yeah.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alexander dusts himself off with his hands, shakes the cape back and we'll walk upstairs.
Tau
Well, Alexander, you make your way up the stairs, you feel a powerful for stirring inside your jar and your comrades also make their way up the stairs towards a faintly glowing orange light.
Michael (Arete)
"Here we go." (musically) Ohhhh.
[SFX: Outro music.]
ROGUE RUNNERS Volume 1: In the Blood, stars our players Nicholas Benetatos as Alexander the Great, Amanda Facosta as Anastasia Pantazis, Giancarlo Herrera as Rolf Yannik, and Michael Pisani as Arete Laskaris. Dungeon Mastering and NPC voices are by me, Tau Zaman. Cover art by Chandler Candela. Audio editing by Tau Zaman. Sound design and editing by Giancarlo Herrera. Title music by Sage G.C., with vocals by Jessica Dahlgren and Sage G.C. Character theme music by Giorgio Volpe. Additional music by Epidemic Sound. Transcription by Eli Barraza.
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