Volume 1: In the Blood Ep. 13 - Friends unto Foes
TRANSCRIPT - In the Blood Ep. 13 - Friends unto Foes
Tau
A product of the Whisperforge.
[SFX: Whisperforge chime.]
Sound and Story: Brought to Life.
Tau
You're listening to a parody that is not affiliated with or endorsed by Supergiant Games in any way. We're just big old nerds making improv fanfiction. ROGUE RUNNERS is rated R for pretty much everything you can find in Greek mythology, violence, assault, self harm, offensive language, insensitive humor, and intense themes. We encourage everyone to check out our show notes and transcripts on our website at whisperforge.org. Are you ready to run? Then Welcome to Volume 1: In the Blood.
[SFX: Title music.]
Tau
Then, yeah, you're swallowed into a pool of blood.
[SFX: Wet explosion.]
Tau
Furthermore, all of the others are on high alert and you hear a voice go "What the fuck, man. What the fuck was that about?" You don't take damage but you feel like a strong punch in your back, Rolf and Arete. And then you hear another voice "Guys, what the hell was that? We're trying not to get killed here. I knew I shouldn't have wasted a spell slot."
Michael (Arete)
"Shhhh. We'll explain later. He's just an idiot."
Tau
"I swear to god if another one of you makes a noise, I will rip my axe straight through you."
Amanda (Annie)
"Yeah. We're, uh, uhhh."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf very tightly grips his staff.
Tau
So you're all adding functionally 13 to your rolls each time. Is that right?
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah.
Tau
So everybody is now rolling with disadvantage because these things are on high alert.
Amanda (Annie)
Damn it.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Great.
Tau
So roll again.
Amanda (Annie)
Dang, I got a dirty 20.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
6 plus 13. (whispering) "Athena, please continue to aid me in this quest." So 19.
[SFX: A metallic clang ding.]
Michael (Arete)
29 for Arete.
Amanda (Annie)
19 plus 13... 32.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Bring that average up, baby.
Tau
So you're still trying to cross that first 30 feet. They need to beat a 17 or better to notice you. So you pass one Heretic. Rolf, you were trying to keep up with everybody you're like in the back of this club and Rolf, the crystal just moves just past your feet a little bit and a Wretched Heretic sees you and goes (goatlike laugh).
Amanda (Annie)
No!
Tau
And it's charging up to fire some bolts at you.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Crown of madness.
Amanda (Annie)
Wait! Ohhhh, (disappointed) okay.
Tau
So what happens with crown of madness?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Crown of madness. One humanoid of my choice that I can see within range must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or become charmed by me for a duration. It has to get a 14 but I'm actually going to throw a blood crystal in there to increase that...
Tau
Sure.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
So it has to get a 17 or higher. And I'm gonna-- Ohhhh. I have to ring the bell to use my staff don't I?
Tau
Yep.
Amanda (Annie)
Stooop. Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
That's it. 17.
Tau
Okay. I'm not kidding you. She got exactly a 17.
Amanda (Annie)
(croaks) Noooo!
Michael (Arete)
I'm going to use one of my grave marker abilities. I'm going to assail the senses of that Wretched Heretic.
Tau
Okay.
Michael (Arete)
It forces the target to make a constitution saving throw. On a failed save the target is either blinded or deafened, my choice, until the end of my next turn.
Tau
So what con save does it have to make?
Michael (Arete)
13.
Tau
It got an 18.
Michael (Arete)
Oh great.
Tau
So did anything else happen?
Amanda (Annie)
Yes Annie would like, I mean, uh ah! Annnie would like to cast blindness, deafness.
Tau
Okay.
Amanda (Annie)
They have to make a constitution saving throw and I mean, to be honest, it's only a 15.
Tau
It only got a 12.
Amanda (Annie)
Yes! Okay, so we're gonna blind the Wretched Heretic.
[SFX: A descending cascade of musical notes.]
Tau
Okay, so it is blinded so it's going (confused goat noises). So it kind of looks like it's malfunctioning like the last time and Rolf I imagine you quickly hurry back into the invisibility cone.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Of course I do. Yes.
Tau
All right, cool. We're gonna let that one go. We're gonna roll for the next two in this first 30 stretch. Okay, you keep moving forward and Arete, you feel a hand on your back and you feel it slide lower and lower and lower down your back. And you feel it go, like onto your butt, essentially. It's like a big muscular, metal plated hand. And then you feel it shove you straight out of the visibility cone.
Michael (Arete)
Can I clench my cheeks and leg around the gloved hand to prevent? Can I roll a strength contest by clenching my legs and cheeks to stay like attached to his hand?
Tau
Okay, roll power bottoming.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh my word.
Michael (Arete)
Alright. So a strength contest is just the strength roll, right?
Tau
Yeah, yeah, sure. He's very strong.
Michael (Arete)
I know. It's a 16 for me.
Tau
Okay versus a 24.
Michael (Arete)
Yeah.
Tau
So you get thrown out, two Wretches in front of you go (goatlike recognition noises)
Michael (Arete)
Immediately going to use deathshroud.
[SFX: Pop!]
Tau
Excellent. So you're invisible.
Michael (Arete)
And then I run back to where the group last was. And I'm kind of like fumbling around with my hands, I'm invisible, to find somebody.
Tau
You find Rolf.
Michael (Arete)
Great. And I am going to go ahead and try another assail senses on one of the Heretics that saw me. So they need to roll con save and beat a 13.
Tau
15.
Michael (Arete)
Okay, great. (whispering) "Um. In the future, I'd prefer it if I don't get pushed out, Mr. Metal Gloved Hand, sir."
Tau
(scoffs) "Watch where you're going." So you keep moving?
Michael (Arete)
Yep.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yes.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah.
Tau
You have now crossed 30 feet. Everybody roll disadvantaged group stealth.
Amanda (Annie)
(unenthused) Yayyy.
Michael (Arete)
Ugh, son of a bitch.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
20.
Michael (Arete)
So that brings Arete to a 23.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie's got a 29.
Tau
Okay, they have to roll pretty high to notice you for this next stretch.
[SFX: A series of rolls.]
Tau
That is 17. 12. Nine. One. You are now at the 60 foot mark, make a group stealth check.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yee!
Tau
With disadvantage.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie got a 25.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
31!
Amanda (Annie)
Wow.
Michael (Arete)
29 for Arete.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah!
Tau
Okay. Again, they will have to roll very high to be able to catch you here.
Michael (Arete)
And I'm going to say while we're at a nice like low point, when Arete got back in to the clump, instead of just holding on to Adonis's waist, he's got his arms wrapped around the waist and like he's locked his arms around so that way if he gets kicked out again, it would pull Adonis with him.
Tau
"Um. You're hurting me."
Michael (Arete)
"Sorry," I release the pressure just enough where he still feels my presence there but like that it won't be hurting.
Tau
Four. One. 14. 19. You have cleared 90 feet. So you see that there are another 90 feet of hallway in front of you. And then it's splits off left and right. Unless you guys want to do anything different, in which case let me know, roll groups stealth again with disadvantage.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
No, we're going.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, I think we're just gonna go.
Michael (Arete)
I think so, at least for another 30 feet.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
17.
Michael (Arete)
29 from Arete.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie rolled a 21.
Tau
Okay, they have to beat an 18 or better. 10. Two. 12. 11. Now you have cleared 120 feet, there are 60 feet until you reach the intersection. Is there anything you would like to do differently? Or do you want to roll again?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Keep going baby.
Michael (Arete)
Roll again.
Amanda (Annie)
Roll again.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I'm consistently rolling three. So that's a 17 again, great movie. Just kidding. I've never seen it.
Amanda (Annie)
You've never?
Michael (Arete)
You've never seen 17 again? Oh, it's a classic.
Tau
It's also Annie's life story. (laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
(Laughs)
Michael (Arete)
27 from Arete and Arete is gonna whisper back to Rolf "Hey, I am my wondering if this like this juncture up ahead means that like, there's only one portal for each group. And if we follow them all the way down, we'll be we will be left to our own devices to get to the other side."
Tau
"Yeah, I was thinking that too, actually. Which direction do you guys want to go?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I'm inclined to go left. But you can always grab the crystal and double back because you have that bonus."
Tau
So what you're asking is for them to walk you to your end the crystal and then walk back to theirs?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yes, please take me to my dorm. I don't like walking around campus at night."
Tau
All right, they need to beat an 18 for this next stretch. Okay, you're moving along, you kind of miscalculate like the patrol path for these Witches, you keep thinking that they're moving in a left to right pattern. But actually every now and then when they're moving in the left or right pattern, they change lanes. So they rotate down one lane and then continue that pattern and then some of them shift up and you kind of caught them at this awkward shift. Rolf, you are once again left out as the group has to quickly adjust for this and one of them goes (goatlike noise) and begins charging up at you.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and cast ice knife on it at third level.
Amanda (Annie)
Wow.
Tau
Okay, so what happens?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Well, we'll find out what happened. So I'm casting it using a blood crystal. Oh good Jesus Christ good thing I get a plus nine to that. So that's 12 plus, oh my god plus two does a 14 hit?
Tau
Yes.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Thank God. Okay, so you see Rolf call upon the ancient cold of the Nordic lands as he forms an ice knife in his hand with a little bit of red streaks running through it from the blood crystal and he flings it out at the creature. On a hit that target takes 1d10 piercing damage. So that's a nine. Hit or miss the shard then explodes. The target and each creature within five feet of it, which is none really, must succeed on a dexterity saving throw or take 3d6 damage.
Tau
It got a 14.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
It failed and so it takes that nine piercing damage and then additional 14 cold damage.
[SFX: Shatter, thump, gasping goat noise.]
Tau
As you pin it to a wall.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And I capture its soul in my jar.
Tau
Okay, make a charisma check.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(whispers) "Athena, aid me in this as well." And so I get a total of 19.
Tau
All right, you've trapped this Wretched Heretic in the jar.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Great. And I enter the circle of invisibility again, rather annoyed.
Tau
Alright, you have to pass by a few more Wretched Heretics as a group. Okay, you've cleared 150 feet. You've got 30 more feet before the intersection.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Okay, let's go group."
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, keep on truckin.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Ugh, I rolled a one. 15 total.
Michael (Arete)
28 from Arete.
Amanda (Annie)
30. From Annie. We love to see it.
Michael (Arete)
We love to not see it. Because we're invisible.
Amanda (Annie)
Yes.
Tau
These have to beat a 19. One. Five. 12. Three. You have arrived at this intersection. You've cleared 180 feet, you see a hallway that extends left and right.
Amanda (Annie)
(whispering) "I dont, Rolf said it earlier. But I think we we should always go left. It's just a feeling that I have. But, it's. I don't I don't know. What do you what do you think? What do you what do you guys think?"
Tau
"We found the crystal first,we would rather just take our own path and go. Hasn't this been helped enough?"
Amanda (Annie)
"Well, okay okay."
Michael (Arete)
"60 feet is a dashable distance."
Tau
To be clear. You don't see gates at the end of that. 60 feet. You see the hallways turn further back.
Michael (Arete)
Thank you for that, thank you.
Amanda (Annie)
"I was just gonna say that. I was just, I was just mentioning like, if I was asking which way you wanted to go. That's all."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Considering one of your group just attempted to murder one of us. We would appreciate a little extra help."
Tau
"What are you talking about?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Oh don't act like you don't know that Ajax pushed Arete out."
Tau
"Ajax is a lot of things but he's not going to do something so stupid as to get us all killed. Let's go," and then you feel the group start moving towards the right.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I move with them.
Amanda (Annie)
"I knew it."
Michael (Arete)
I will move with them as well.
Tau
Okay, so you're all moving to the right.
Michael (Arete)
I'd rather do that than take some magic missile shenanigans.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I've literally been rolling ones and twos consistently except of course right now. Without the plus 10 I'm fucked.
Amanda (Annie)
"I don't know. I don't Rolf?"
Tau
If you want to move with them, you have to roll right now.
Amanda (Annie)
Okay. I'll roll, we'll move with them
Giancarlo (Rolf)
While we are moving with them, Rolf is going to take the hands of Arete and Annie so that he can guide them at the appropriate moment.
Amanda (Annie)
(cautious) Interesting. But all right.
Michael (Arete)
Arete's stealth was a 27 with disadvantage.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Same here.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie's is 25.
Tau
Okay, they have to beat a 16 this time.
Amanda (Annie)
Aw shoot.
Tau
Four. 18. Whoever, you can't really see wholbut whoever is in the group that is holding the crystal seems to be really annoyed with y'all and is moving a little bit faster than the pace that y'all had kind of agreed to initially. So Annie, you kind of get left behind a little bit. You see your own body come into view as this like invisibility aura moves past to you and one of the Wretched Heretics goes (goatlike sound) and begins charging up.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie's gonna cast blindness deafness on that Wretched Heretic.
Tau
11.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh! That baby is blind.
[SFX: Descending musical notes.]
Tau
Okay, I imagine you move back into the invisibility cone.
Amanda (Annie)
Yes, please.
Tau
Right. You have now reached the corner. So you went to the right and now you're going to the right again around this corner. You see a gate for a dedalus hammer.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
How far?
Tau
30 feet.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf is going to squeeze both of their shoulders and dash to the gate
Tau
Okay.
Michael (Arete)
Arete will follow suit.
Tau
Everybody roll initiative.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh no.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
19.
Amanda (Annie)
17 for Annie.
Michael (Arete)
Three for my initiative roll.
Tau
You see the ground in front of you twisting and it sprouts hard spikes and thorns. It appears to be difficult terrain for you, Rolf it is your turn.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay. Well one, Rolf is going to dash to the portal and click it.
Tau
When a creature moves into or within the area it takes 2d4 piercing damage for every five feet it travels. So you're taking 12d4 piercing damage.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(aghast) 12?
Tau
Yep, you take 30 piercing damage.
[SFX: A wet woosh.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
So that brings me exactly to zero I activate my death defying to bring me back at one full hit die.
Tau
Nice. Okay, so you feel like blood erupts from the thorns underneath you and attempts to catch you and it drags you down. And for a minute, it looks like you died and then you just burst from it again.
[SFX: The bell tolls.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I'm not done assholes!" And he's going to press the crystal in.
Tau
You can open the portal. You can't go through it because you've used your full movement.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Then yeah, I guess I opened the portal.
Tau
Okay, yeah, so you've opened the portal so it's right next to you.
[SFX: The metal and stone scrape of the opening portal.]
Amanda (Annie)
Okay. Yeah, no, Annie would like to dash across the thorny spikes and try and run through the portal.
Tau
Okay, so you are running through the thorns.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, she is.
Tau
I mean, you're a tank bard. You're fine. Okay, so you take 33 piercing damage and you are also exactly in front of the portal now.
Amanda (Annie)
Dammit. Annie's gonna use song of passion she's gonna whip out her viol, and she's gonna play a tune just so Arete can get a boost to his initiative roll? Dammit, that's a two. Well, hey, that's a two for you. Plus two for you, Arete.
Michael (Arete)
Thanks.
Amanda (Annie)
Anytime.
Tau
Palaestra is up. She is going to dash also over these spines. She's going to take 32 damage. But the thing about monks is that they actually have increased movement speed.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh, my.
Tau
So she goes straight into the portal, past you guys. She goes, "That was really not cool, guys." And then she's gonna hop in past you.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
There's still three slots left y'all.
Michael (Arete)
Is that how portals work? Or is it as soon as Olympiad?
Amanda (Annie)
I don't know, maybe we can all be friends? I don't know.
Tau
Next up, Ajax is going to go. He jumps right up to you guys and he goes "Fuck you. And fuck you too." He is furious. And he has a feature called battle rager charge. And the way that that works is you can take the dash action as a bonus action while you are raging, which he certainly is. Which means that he is going to take a dash action and also hop into the portal. Next step is Arete.
Michael (Arete)
So he was able to dash twice.
Tau
Yes.
Michael (Arete)
And I can dash as a bonus action.
Amanda (Annie)
Do it.
Michael (Arete)
So technically...
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Do it. Do it. Go,
Amanda (Annie)
Do it. Do it.
Michael (Arete)
Should I?
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah!
Michael (Arete)
I don't want to leave you guys.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Go!
Michael (Arete)
But if I can't pass to the portal?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Well try, let's find out.
Nicholas (Alexander)
All right. Arete is gonna use one of his cunning actions as a rogue take the dash action for his bonus action.
Tau
You take 41 piercing damage.
Michael (Arete)
And I am gonna use that death defiance to come back, baby.
Amanda (Annie)
Thank god.
Tau
So you see those thorns just overtake you, you get thrown out and you come back up.
[SFX: The bell tolls.]
Michael (Arete)
I come back with 10, yeehaw. And as I come back, I take my regular dash action to go through the portal. "Sorry, everyone. I'll see you on the other side."
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Amanda (Annie)
Gooo, be freeee!
Tau
All right, Pandaie. And actually you don't actually see any of this because she's holding an invisibility crystal. You just see a force jumping over these thorns deftly. And she also reaches the very edge of the portal and then she takes an action surge and she hops into the portal.
[SFX: Portal woosh.]
Tau
So Adonis is up next, he is going to break concentration on the spike growth so the spike growth vanishes. He casts long strider on himself, which increases his speed by 10 feet until the spell ends and he runs through the portal. The gate slams shut.
[SFX: The stone scrapes shut.]
Amanda (Annie)
Nooo.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Is the crystal still here?
Tau
Nope. Pandaie carried it in with her.
Michael (Arete)
Nooooo.
Amanda (Annie)
"Well, old buddy, what do you suggest we do now?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Well, I want to survive just out of fucking spite now."
Amanda (Annie)
"Well, yeah, sure. Yeah, sure."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
What's around us right now?
Tau
There aren't any Wretched Heretics in this little lip before the gate, but there are four not even 30 feet away from you.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Annie, you have anything?"
Amanda (Annie)
"How do you mean?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Useful."
Amanda (Annie)
"We can. We can go left next time."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"No, I'm not giving up yet. All right. You want vapors or not?"
Amanda (Annie)
"Uh, no, I just meant if you want we I guess we could check the other corridor..."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yep, that's what we're doing." And I'm going to cast false life on myself at level three.
Amanda (Annie)
Okay.
Tau
Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I regain 18 hit points.
Amanda (Annie)
Wow.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"All right. We're going to die."
Tau
This run is so wild. I'm like, wait a second.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"But I sure as shit am going to try to do something." All right, I'm casting melts minute meteors on myself at level four.
[SFX: Acoustic guitar fades in.]
Tau
Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Number of meteors increases by two.
[SFX: Meteors woosh in.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
So I create eight small meteors rotating around me. They float in the air and orbit me. As a bonus action on each of my turns thereafter I can expend one or two of the meteors and streaking toward a point I choose within 120 feet. Once a meteor reaches its destination or impacts against a solid surface, the meteor explodes. Each creature within five feet of the point where the meteor explodes must make a dexterity saving throw. A creature takes to the six fire damage on failed save or half as much damage on a successful one. I can only expand two per turn. I'm going to expend two of them right now on those middle Heretics.
[SFX: Intense WOOSH.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And we're going to try and work our way back to section one. My range is 120 feet. So if the first one doesn't wipe them out, I'll throw a second. And if it does, I'll throw it further away.
Tau
Okay, so what do I need to do?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Dexterity saving throw and I'm including a blood crystal. So the DC is 17.
Tau
They get an eight.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
They take nine fire damage.
[SFX: A fiery woosh.]
Tau
Okay. They, okay, they've all taken it.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And they are living?
Tau
Yes.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Then I shall send a second.
Tau
Okay.
Amanda (Annie)
(laughs)
Tau
They only got a 16 this time.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay, and so that one explodes and they take a... seven.
[SFX: Fiery woosh.]
Tau
That whole section of Wretched Heretics goes (goatlike cackle)and explode.
[SFX: Punchy explosion.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"All right Anastasia, you're up."
Tau
You've certainly drawn the attention of the others. I will make that clear.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh no. Annie would like to cast stinking cloud, okay. I create a 20 foot radius sphere of yellow gas within 90 feet.
Tau
I'm gonna say you can position it such that you can probably get sections three and four in this cloud at like the perfect time.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks, (nervous) uuuh.
Tau
Listen, I'm not trying to kill ya'll. I'm really not.
Amanda (Annie)
No, yeah, no no. I know.
Tau
I feel bad. I feel like everybody's mad at me.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
No, no.
Michael (Arete)
We're not mad at you, we're at mad at the characters that you're portraying.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yes.
Tau
Benetatos is so quiet. Look, just listen to how quiet he is.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(amused) It's muted.
Tau
Okay.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, I think that was just muted.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Umm. Can I activate death defiance at any time in the room?
Amanda (Annie)
(laughs) No way.
[SFX: Record scratch as the players laugh.]
Michael (Arete)
No.
Amanda (Annie)
He told you, did you, wait, did you forget that you had that defiance when you died?
Michael (Arete)
(whispers) Oh my god.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(bursts out laughing)
Amanda (Annie)
Okay, just checking. I just.
Tau
You, fucking I'm so angry. I can't (laughs)
Michael (Arete)
But then I was like, ooo.
Tau
Here's what's going to happen. You're gonna spring up right in front of the other game.
[SFX: Woosh then a bell tolls.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Wait, really?
Tau
Yeah, but they can't see you. I'm gonna be so clear, this is the only time I'm allowing this. Next time if you don't remember, you're fucking dead.
Players
(laugh)
Michael (Arete)
My god.
Tau
Okay, let's talk about stinking cloud.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, stinking cloud. Um, oh, okay. So each creature that's completely within the cloud, at the start of its turn has to make a constitution saving throw against the poison.
Tau
Okay, they get a four.
Amanda (Annie)
All right, they fail. So the creature spends its action that turn just retching and reeling.
Tau
Okay, so eight of them are retching and (goatlike gagging) a lot of that.
Amanda (Annie)
Amazing.
Tau
So this would be the time if you want to pass them.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, ah, Rolf and Annie are running for dear life.
Tau
Okay, you've got two sections left. You're right in the middle of the T, like the heart of the T right now. You've got two sections of Wretched Heretics left with eight each of them.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay, and I'm going to cast erupting earth, let's say level three. And I'm going to recall that blood crystal using my searing return.
[SFX: Electric guitar music comes in.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
As it reenters me and I then recast it as I touch my hand to the ground. And you see sort of the ground ripples as it goes out and begins to shoot up fountains of earth
[SFX: Crackling, tumbling rocks.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
They have to make a dexterity saving throw of 17 or higher.
Tau
They get a 14.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
So everyone in section two takes 34 damage as earth explodes from the ground and cascades back onto them.
[SFX: Clattering of cascading earth.]
Tau
Yeah. You fucking earth jujitsu the fuck out of these guys. They're gone. You got section one left and I would say hurry because sections three and four are going to be starting to save on their retching soon.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I'm gonna use my bonus action to throw those two meteors.
Tau
Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Roll a dexterity saving throw.
Tau
Uh 13.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
They take seven fire damage, all of them in section one.
Tau
Okay, that hurts but they are alive. So Alexander you just see two meteors crashed.
Michael (Arete)
So I just start crawling out of the ground, like (grunts with effort).
Tau
Yeah. Okay, so do you guys do anything else?
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, I would like to run into section one to cast thunder wave.
Tau
Okay, they have to make con saves. 19. So they take half damage.
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, they take half damage. That is seven.
Tau
Okay, that is exactly how much you need for them to go, BOOM. And then (goatlike snarling scream)
Amanda (Annie)
(gasps)
Tau
You kill them. You also see Alexander climbing out of blood near you. And the pomegranate gate.
Amanda (Annie)
What the! Run like hell.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Hello friends!"
Amanda (Annie)
"RUN."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
As Rolf runs by, Alexander's only, like waist deep out of the ground, and I'm going to smack him using Ruyi Jingu Bang. I'm going to smack him like Rifiki and say "You goddamn IDIOT."
[SFX: SMACK.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And then hopefully the portals open and he's gonna run through.
Nicholas (Alexander)
I will grab his stick so I get pulled in
Amanda (Annie)
Annie's gonna touch that gate.
Tau
Alright, I need to resolve something really quickly. Um
[SFX: Rolls dice.]
Amanda (Annie)
(nervous) Okay.
[SFX: Tau continues to roll dice.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
(also very nervous) What is happening?
[SFX: Still rolling dice.]
Michael (Arete)
We'll find out.
[SFX: Still rolling.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
What are you doing to my rogue?
Tau
Okay, sorry. Sorry about that. All right, let's move on to the next room.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Wow. What the fuck.
Tau
You find (laughs)
Amanda (Annie)
What is happening?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughing) Fuck you.
Amanda (Annie)
Why are you doing this??
Tau
You find yourself in a pleasant room.
Michael (Arete)
Who?
Tau
Where the dread of battles seems to be at bay for the moment. At least, that's what you would think. Except you find, Arete, parts of Arete spread out around the ground that seems to have reformed once then were put to the ground again as the blood swallows it up just like you saw happen with Zagreus.
[SFX: Bloody explosion.]
Amanda (Annie)
(Softly) No.
Tau
Two fountains are also in the room at which you could take a rest.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Wait, no one else is in the room?
Tau
No.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Alexander, what the shit were you thinking?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I am not the stealthiest. I must admit."
Amanda (Annie)
"That doesn't. That, it."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"You're also clearly not the smartest, what the hell man?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
Okay, well, the player thought (laughs) the player thought--
Amanda (Annie)
The player did not think at all atually.
Michael (Arete)
The player thought it was up to the dice that they could do as they please in a cone of silence but (clears throat) "I needed a strong connection to Athena for the proficiency bonus for stealth."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Well..." and I pick up a little pinky that got left behind by the red blood and I go, "This was the cost of your connection."
Michael (Arete)
"What? What happened to... Who is this?"
Amanda (Annie)
"That's Arete."
Tau
Suddenly the blood from the ground goes "Ope, sorry, missed that." and grabs the pinky and yanks it down.
Nicholas (Alexander)
We don't see anyone else's body parts?
Tau
You can make a perception check.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
20.
Amanda (Annie)
That's an 11.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Damn. "Athena, help me out here." 14.
Tau
You see signs of just absolute mauling. And then you see kind of like messy water splashed around the fountain as if people were like in a hurry or upset.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Hmm.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Well, they killed him."
Amanda (Annie)
"Yeah, that much is obvious."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I'm going to have to ask him next time we see him but I am certain Ajax pushed him out."
Michael (Arete)
"Well, we could all..."
Amanda (Annie)
"What?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Regroup and try again."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"No."
Amanda (Annie)
"Okay, don't be ridiculous, Alex." And Annie's gonna go to one of the fountains and drink
[SFX: Water splashes gently.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah Rolf is a no as he very angrily undresses and dips into the pool.
[SFX: Water splashes and dribbles.]
Tau
He furiously squeezes the bubble bath lotion into the into the fountain and angrily scrubs himself as as he smells of flowers and bubbles.
Michael (Arete)
Are you guys in separate fountains?
Amanda (Annie)
Yes, I would like to make it clear and he is not drinking Rolf's bath water. Thank you.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf bottles some up to sell later.
Tau
Ugh.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alright, Alexander will drink from Annie's fountain.
Tau
Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf is maintaining solid eye contact as he scrubs with Alexander.
Nicholas (Alexander)
(indignant) I'm not looking at you.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
He's staring at you anyway.
Tau
So are you taking a short rest?
Amanda (Annie)
Short reeest.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Short rest and we're not leveling up this time right?
Tau
Hell no.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(laughs)
Tau
Man, what a fail forward mentality. I like it.
Michael (Arete)
I mean, I think Arete should be allowed to level having faced off against a an angry Olympiad by himself.
Tau
Oh, yeah.
Michael (Arete)
I think that deserves a nice levelling. Everybody else could be still seven.
Tau
Oh Arete definitely took all four of the Olympiad at once. Just not in the way he wanted.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Did we win any nectar?
Tau
Uh. You see some nectar and a pomegranate sitting on the floor.
[SFX: Chimelike ding.]
Tau
There we go. (laughs)
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Arete, we drink in your honor."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Wait, don't drink the nectar."
Amanda (Annie)
"Arete didn't even want the nectar. Enjoy it." Annie's gonna go walk towards the gates.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Bro, we can't win with anyone, man." I go to Alexander, like, I'm shielding myself from Annie but like I'm like I'll grab my clothes in a second. I go to Alexander and I sit down and I go. "What the hell is going on, man? You know it's a bad sign when I find myself agreening with YOU more often than not."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I think there are multiple deaths is a bit maddening."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Tell me about it, Jesus Christ."
Amanda (Annie)
"You-- don't blame it on the deaths."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And at this point Rolf is like spread eagle.
Amanda (Annie)
"Don't you dare blame it on the deaths."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Annie, don't look over here. I'm indecent."
Amanda (Annie)
"Put some clothes on! What's wrong you?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I-I'm sor--"
Amanda (Annie)
"Don't yell at me for-- I'm not looking."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I'm covered in blood! I died!"
Amanda (Annie)
"Yeah well you're here now. Okay? You know who's not? Arete."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Oh, don't put that on me."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"That's why I said we can always join him."
Amanda (Annie)
"Oh, shut up. Put your clothes on and let's go."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Okay."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf puts his clothes on.
Nicholas (Alexander)
I'm gonna grab that pomegranate.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I don't want to not live anymore.
Tau
All right, so do you... are you are you?
Nicholas (Alexander)
I agree.
Tau
Are you using the pomegranate?
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yes.
Tau
It has now increased to epic rarity. And you may select one damage type to have resistance to.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh, nice.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Fire...?
Tau
You all pick the same one.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
The thing that Meg did that we had to do the dexterity saving throws. It's erupting earth but it's it's her version of it. It's not bludgeoning damage. Was it force? If not then, piercing, a lot of things do piercing, right?
Michael (Arete)
Force was from Iris.
Tau
You have more recently taken 12 blasts of force to the face.
Michael (Arete)
Oh that was force as well. "(clears throat) I also have these here," pulls the crossbow bolt out of his head. "These force damage to crossbow bolts."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Oh yeah, I screwed up my arm" and Rolf holds up an arm and the elbow bends the other way. And then he like cracks it back into place.
[SFX: Horrible bone crunch.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yeah, I'm down for force."
Amanda (Annie)
"Sure."
Tau
Okay, the party is now resistant to force damage. Remember that when I tell you, means you take half damage rounded down.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Anastasia, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was just trying to keep us alive."
Amanda (Annie)
"No. Rolf, you-you--}
Nicholas (Alexander)
"There really are no consequences when you can die over and over and over.
Amanda (Annie)
"Of course there are consequences, Alex."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Hold up Alexander. You consistently put us in terrible positions. I'll admit I was with you on the first one. But Alexander... if we continue to make enemies."
Michael (Arete)
"What else have I done besides fail the stealth rolls?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"You shouted in the middle of a stealth challenge!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Yeah, not consistently. This was one time."
Amanda (Annie)
"You also stabbed Hypnos."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"But that didn't do anything."
Amanda (Annie)
(frustrated) "Ohhhh, I can't... I hope I die by Thanatos's hand. I really do. I really do."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"As do I."
Tau
A voice above you says "Don't we all?"
Amanda (Annie)
Yeah, it's Yes.
Tau
"Please kill me, god daddy."
Amanda (Annie)
"That's what I'm saying!"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Anastasia, you are 12."
Amanda (Annie)
"I'm 17."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I'm sorry."
Nicholas (Alexander)
Uh oh.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Anyways, Anastasia, listen, if we have any problems in our Olympiad, I think we need to talk these out now and make some progress because the other Olympiad has clearly made it as far as Elysium. Meanwhile, we're here getting each other killed in freaking Tartarus. And I do not want to die to Megara again."
Amanda (Annie)
"Neither do I Rolf, so maybe you should be addressing this entire conversation to the person who almost did. Yeah? Thank you."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I just mean, you are clearly upset with us. So let's talk it out."
Amanda (Annie)
"I've tried doing that before. What? I mean, I'm really glad that you want to make this decision now and that you're you you're open to discussing your feelings. That's amazing. I love the growth. We love to see it."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(earnest) "I was open to discussing it before. I went up to you in the bar and you didn't talk to me!"
Amanda (Annie)
"Because I was upset with you."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Okay, so I'm trying to address that. Don't act like I'm the one that's resisting these conversations."
Amanda (Annie)
"Before that. Before that."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"God, people are so fickle. Seriously, I did make the right decision. Alexander, talk to her. Share your feelings, go! We need to stop being held up by the stupid arguments."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I agree. Let's get it on. Let's go."
Tau
Suddenly, the lights dim and you hear Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" start playing.
[SFX: "Let's Get It On" starts playing.]
Michael (Arete)
(singing) Let's get it oooon.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Look, we can't choose our Olympiad"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Clearly."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Where stuck with what we're stuck with."
Michael (Arete)
(continues singing "Let's Get It On")
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I can feel Arete now, soothing me with his voice. (laughs)
Michael (Arete)
(singing fades)
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I mean, sure, it's a race. Yes. But they're just going to die again."
Amanda (Annie)
"Maybe not."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"The other group has clearly been making thrice our progress. We're going to be stopped down here, while the Underworld literally fucking floods."
Michael (Arete)
"Yep, that's life. Don't forget where you are. This is death. I mean."
Amanda (Annie)
"I just think it's interesting how, that the very beginning... I mean, I don't know, I'm kind of glad you, you know."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"You were right. We're not getting out of here. And I realize that"
Amanda (Annie)
"Well."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"The gods have failed me every step of the way."
Amanda (Annie)
"But that's not what I Alex, that's not what I said, I just meant, we're... I think we are going to get out of here, we have to have that hope. I've just, you know, I just didn't want you to just assume that you know, and get your hopes up that we would make it on the first try. Because then you know, you would just be really let down. That's, that's what I meant. But also, if we're going to talk about it, listen, I understand that you look down on me, and that you think I'm a kid and you think I don't understand things. That's fine. You can have that opinion. And if you don't want to actually get to know me and learn more about me, that's fine. You don't have to, but I just think sometimes you make really rash decisions. And I understand you're upset. I understand you're upset with the gods, I get it. This sucks, guys. This sucks." And Anniee's just like, waving around everywhere. "Like this sucks! I know. I'm dead too! Okay, of course I'm upset. I'm just as upset as you are. But we can't go around just stabbing gods whether they be major or minor just because we're pissed off at the really big ones. Okay, who put us here in the first place. I know something weird is going on down here. I understand that. Okay. Yes. But (sighs) I don't mean to yell. I don't mean to yell. I don't mean to get like this. But."
Michael (Arete)
(slightly condescending) "You know what Anastasia, if you want to take the lead, I'm okay with that. And I'll go with every decision you choose."
Amanda (Annie)
"I want you to have a say."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"No, it doesn't matter."
Amanda (Annie)
"Course it matters Alex."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"No, it doesn't. We'll just die again."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Could you stop feeling so sorry for yourself? Seriously."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Oh."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I understand the death was painful, okay? Yes, you had many victories in life and now we are in death and because you failed a few times you refuse to continue? How many people do you think live their entire lives in misery? You keep trying to avoid these problems. Just, can we solve this? Can we put a stamp on this?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
(frustrated) "What needs to be solved? What would you like old man?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(having had it) "I don't know. But we need to have some sort of cohesion or else we're going to continue to fall apart while everyone else is stronger together!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I just said I was going to work with you and go with every decision you decide!"
Tau
At this moment you see Arete's blood on the floor start to pool back together again, except something seems odd. It is darker than Arete's blood, darker than anybody's blood should be. And it keeps pooling back together and suddenly it starts weaving and turning on itself and it stitches back into what you understand to be Arete. But this Arete does not look at you or speak to you. It simply looks around the room with a dark glare. And then it advances into the next gate.
[SFX: Portal swoosh.]
Amanda (Annie)
"What the shit--"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"What the shit."
Amanda (Annie)
"--was that?"
Tau
Also that gate was a blue trident.
Amanda (Annie)
"Fishing rod!" and Annie runs, Annie runs into that portal!
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I guess that's all it takes to renew their vigor. All right."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"There goes our chance of solving anything."
Amanda (Annie)
Don't blame it on me.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Alexander you need to start trying harder."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"What would you have me do? I'm willing to do anything."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"The girl's methods are not necessarily your favorite. And you know what, more and more I find myself aligning with you at least for the purposes of escape. However--"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Old man, I just said I would do whatever she chooses."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Alexander that is not what she wants. She wants a discussion. The problem is that you do not--"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"She just ran away from the discussion! This is the time to do it!"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"A continuing discussion, Alexander. One in the moment. I understand. Listen, I am upset that you shouted, okay? I will be forthcoming with you. I... if it did not affect me poorly. Although I've never felt this way in my life before, I would kind of like to kill you if we're being honest. But."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"And I'm okay with that. And I agree that was a poor decision."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"That's that's fine. But when it comes to things like that, and again, I was with you in the moment, stabbing Hypnos, I I agree, I'm nowhere near perfect myself."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Okay, we tried it, it doesn't work. I just had to see."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Yes. We need to start thinking a little more diplomatically. I don't know who handled this kind of thing for you in your life. But I promise you did not come to be king of Macedon without a little diplomacy."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Well..."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"A little diplomacy. You Back it up, you know, you carry a big stick and whatnot. But."
Michael (Arete)
"The biggest stick."
[SFX: "Let's Get It On" plays a moment]
Michael (Arete)
"Oh wowwww."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"I've cut those down simply for being in my way."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Well, Alexander, you were afforded that privilege by being at the top. Now, I hate to inform you in case the many beatings you suffered didn't already. We are at the very bottom of the ladder. So you're going to have to take a slightly different approach."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Yes."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"People are fickle. Trust me, they are the the most difficult science to comprehend. It is why I did not engage with the subject. But unfortunately, we have no other alternative. And honestly, Anastasia seems to have the most capable hands in that department. Also, I'm worried about her getting killed by that creepy Arete thing that we kind of just dismissed. So I'm just saying, we need to try and do better. All right?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Okay."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Although the girl also needs to listen to us a little bit more sometimes in certain departments. Anyways, let's go see if she's alive." And Rolf jumps through the portal.
[SFX: Portal woosh.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alexander will just dip his hands in the fountain one last time, brush his hair back with the water and then go into the portal.
[SFX: Portal woosh.]
Tau
Okay, Alexander, Annie and Rolf. I am awarding inspiration.
[SFX: Bright ding.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Eyy.
Amanda (Annie)
Aw.
Tau
So you join Annie in a room. It's the room that you thought Arachne in. So you find yourself in a room covered in tapestries depicting the naughty exploits of Zeus.
Amanda (Annie)
"Not again."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Do you remember if AC mattered when we fought Arachne?"
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"I remember being stuck in a web the whole time."
Michael (Arete)
"I remember praying the whole time and not actually participating due to a failed roll."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
All right, I'm going to investigate the room.
Tau
Okay. You see the same things that you saw last time. Tapestries, the webbing on the walls, the loom at the far end.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Listen, I don't want to try and play the gods at their own game, but I have a feeling we're going to have to kill some super version of Arete. So I just wanted for you guys to mentally process that right now before we have to brutally slaughter our friend. Most likely I could be very wrong."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Oh, stay next to me because of my aura."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Alright, get information. (tired) Anastasia, please."
Amanda (Annie)
Annie goes into formation.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay.
Tau
What is the formation?
Nicholas (Alexander)
I guess a triangle with me in the front.
Tau
Alright. You're standing in a triangle
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Anastasia I'm sorry I tried to betray the other Olympiad. I was upset at what they did to Arete and I thought it was our only option."
Amanda (Annie)
"I understand. I didn't even know that they tried to push Arete. I I thought we were all good so but then you started running so I just thought I had to run so I ran."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"You always have agency in what we do."
Amanda (Annie)
"But hey, I just wanted to say also cuz I didn't get to mention earlier that those little meteors or whatever? Those little rocks, that was that was terrifying. Oh it's really cool."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Thank you I picked it for Meg."
Amanda (Annie)
"Oh wow."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Do you think she'll like it?"
Amanda (Annie)
"Oh. Hell yeah."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
All right. Um, are the eggs still here?
Tau
The eggs are still there.
Amanda (Annie)
No! I'll shoot 'em.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Arachne, we we have no quarrel with you. We are your friends. We do not wish to interrupt your babies or your loom or your work."
Tau
Okay.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Please reveal yourself."
Tau
Make a persuasion check.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Athena, please aid me in the power of conversation."
[SFX: Metallic ding.]
Amanda (Annie)
"I'm not gonna lie, I feel like, Arachne's not gonna like that you called on Athena. But hey."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Oh, did Athena do something to her?"
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeeeah.
Michael (Arete)
She sure did.
Amanda (Annie)
Athena made her a spider. (laughs) Athena made her a spider.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yikes.
Amanda (Annie)
Just whisper her name.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oof, that's not great. That's a 15.
Tau
"How dare you whisper her name!" as a massive spider woman descends from the ceiling and attacks you. Everybody roll initiative.
Amanda (Annie)
Dammit.
Tau
Arete also, please roll initiative.
Michael (Arete)
Okay.
Michael (Arete)
Whoa, oh boy. We didn't see him did we?
Tau
Nope. It's John Cena.
Michael (Arete)
Bum badum ba.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
19.
Amanda (Annie)
It's a nine for Annie.
Michael (Arete)
A 17 for Arete.
Michael (Arete)
15.
Tau
Okay, let's start this bitch. Rolf, you are up.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
All right, I'm going to summon a blood crystal and with that I will call down a very powerful witch bolt. 18 plus nine plus three. So 18 plus 12. That's a 30.
Tau
Okay, that hits
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah. And that those 4d12 thunder damage. Plus of course my blood crystal which was a three so that brings us to a grand total of 33 damage.
[SFX: Thunder cracks.]
Tau
(laughing) Okay, say you blast this spider woman. She instantly already looks extremely bad.
Michael (Arete)
Nice.
Amanda (Annie)
Yesss.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Beautiful and the wonderful thing about witch bolt is--
Michael (Arete)
(singing Tigger voice) The wonderful thing about tiggers is tiggers are wonderful things. They're bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy fun fun fun fun fun.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay.
Nicholas (Alexander)
We really are in Hell.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
I can deal 1d12 damage automatically on subsequent turns as long as I maintain this.
Tau
Alright, next up, two fae spiders are going to teleport off of the wall and teleport onto your neck, Rolf. And they are both going to attack here. The first one is an 11 does that hit?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Ha! Not me, thank you Achilles!
Tau
You swipe at it with your Myrmidon bracer and it gets dislodged for a moment. The next one tries to attack it also gets an 11, I imagine you do the same thing.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Oh, I brush my shoulders feeling very cool. Thank you Achilles.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Well get it away from, don't get it on me!"
Tau
Okay, it is Arachne's turn. She is going to spray acid at all three of you. Everyone must make a dexterity saving throw.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Add four!
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Huzzah.
Amanda (Annie)
That's a 25 for Annie
Giancarlo (Rolf)
27.
Michael (Arete)
And 23 for me.
Tau
Oh wow. Okay, well you only take nine acid damage.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Splendid.
Tau
Immediately to your left, Rolf, Arete, who this Arete has just as much health as a full health Arete would have, but this Arete is going to try to kill you and it must use every tool at his disposal in order to do so. So Arete you're up.
Michael (Arete)
Oh, great. Then I'm gonna go ahead and attempt to do some sneak attack damage.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Fuck you.
Michael (Arete)
Brings it to a 17.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, it hits.
Michael (Arete)
Great. So flying from the shadows, this anti Arete draws its weapon midair and stabs it into Rolf's shoulder dealing 22 damage.
[SFX: A wet shink as the blade goes in.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Arete! Rolf!"
Tau
Rolf, you need to make concentration save.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Great that's a nine
Tau
Your witch bolt breaks as suddenly anti Arete has stabbed you deeply.
Michael (Arete)
He will use a bonus action and he's going to hide behind the loom.
Michael (Arete)
Kay. Going to tack Arachne. That's a dirty 20.
Tau
That hits.
Nicholas (Alexander)
I would like to make that a divine smite.
Tau
You can, she's pretty low.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Like that low?
Tau
Up to you, buddy.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Okay, I roll without divine smite, that is a 10.
Tau
Alright, she dies. (gasping) "Curse Athenaaa." Then a web yanks her up and away.
Michael (Arete)
For my bonus action, I'm going to cast shield of fate.
[SFX: A sharp undulating sound.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Shimmering field surrounds a creature of your choice. It's going to be me. Granting it plus two bonus to AC for the duration. Duration is concentration up to 10 minutes.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie just wants to search for Arete. Aaaand....
Michael (Arete)
Nope.
Amanda (Annie)
She's, dammit, even with Athena. Oh inspiration, I'll use my inspiration. And I'll reroll it. Never, you know, you know, it's just not in the cards. Yeah, Annie's just gonna look at Rolf and Alex and be like, "I think he's gone. I don't know. I think we scared him off."
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Are the little spider guys still there, or did they?"
Tau
Yeah. There's two of them on Rolf right now.
Amanda (Annie)
Now that he reminds me of the spiders. Yeah. Uh, the bonus action, I wanted to give bardic inspiration to Rolf.
[SFX: The viol plays.]
Amanda (Annie)
That's 1d8 and you can add it to one ability check, attack roll, or saving throw.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
"Oh, thank you, Anastasia."
Amanda (Annie)
"You're welcome."
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Considering I was attacked by him, did I at least see the direction that Arete went?
Tau
He went so fast, you don't really have a strong sense of it unless you want to make a perception check.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And where are all the spiders?
Tau
On you.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
In that case, I am going to move with them away from my friends and I'm going to cast thunder wave originating on myself.
Tau
Okay, so they have to make constitution saves?
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Correct. And guess what I'm using a blood crystal. And not only that, I'm going to ring Ruyi Jingu Bang as a bonus action to give them disadvantage.
Tau
So you let out this deathly toll with the bell.
[SFX: A deep ringing bell toll.]
Tau
Everybody kind of shutters for a moment, they only get a six
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Well they had to beat the 19 so they fail and they take... nine thunder damage.
Tau
They fly off you as you thunder wave yourself and it goes boom!
[SFX: A forceful BOOM.]
Tau
At the center of the room and now they're up against the wall. Those two spiders are going to teleport and they're going to phase back onto you. Additionally, two new phase spiders are going to phase from their eggs on to you.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Damn.
Tau
And they are going to make their attacks.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Bye ya'll.
Tau
18. 18. 11. And crit.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
All of those except the 11 hit.
Tau
For those it'll be seven, seven, and 14 piercing. So 28 total.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
That puts me at negative one hit points. So I'm going to activate my death defiance once per room.
[SFX: A bell tolls.]
Tau
You get chomped down by these things, you fall down. You burst up again.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
This is becoming... very tiresome.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Arete, it is your turn, you must do everything in your power to kill Rolf.
Michael (Arete)
Arete will leap from his hiding space with his weapon drawn ready to do some sneak attack damage to Rolf. He rolls a 25 as amended to bonus... 25 damage.
[SFX: A wet slash.]
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Bye everyone.
Tau
The earth swallows him up in a mountain of blood. You must now try to kill Annie.
Amanda (Annie)
(whispers) Dammit.
Michael (Arete)
Great with the bonus action, I will attempt to hide again.
Tau
Okay.
Michael (Arete)
Oohoo, natural 20 plus nine so 29.
Michael (Arete)
All right, I'm going to use define sense as an action you can detect Good and Evil until the end of your next turn. You can sense anything affected by the hollow spell or know the location of any celestial, fiend, undead within 60 feet that is not behind total cover.
Tau
You sense an undead presence behind the loom.
Nicholas (Alexander)
"Anastasia behind the loom!" He puts two fingers to his temples and (makes nonsense noises) locates with his thermal vision I guess. (laughs) He sees Arete hiding.
Amanda (Annie)
Oh, brilliant. Okay, Anniee's gonna take that. She's gonna move towards the loom and she's going to cast thunder wave. Yeah, she's also going to cast it at fourth level. Just a heads up.
Michael (Arete)
Oof, four.
Amanda (Annie)
It's 21. For damage.
Tau
The loom shatters as textiles and weave just fly everywhere. And Arete takes 21 damage.
Amanda (Annie)
As a bonus action, Annie's also going to grant bardic inspiration to Alex.
[SFX: The viol sounds.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Ooo.
Tau
Suddenly the blood where Rolf fell starts coagulating.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
(Gasps) Killme please please kill me quick. I am very weak.
Tau
A foul mimicry of Rolf appears where he was standing originally. Rolf, you must do everything in your power to kill Annie.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay.
Amanda (Annie)
What the shit.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Bye Annie.
Tau
It is your turn.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Oh it's Rolf's turn too? Oooo. That's rough, ya'll.
Amanda (Annie)
It is rough. You got the meteors, I complimented your meteors, man!
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Alright, I saved this for Meg but here we go. Are you two both within 20 feet of each other?
Tau
Yeah, they can be.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Okay roll a dexterity saving throw. I'm using a blood crystal so you have to beat an 18. And I'm going to ring Ruyi Jingu Bang. Ding! To give you a disadvantage.
[SFX: The bell tolls.]
Tau
And you feel this just shatter your defense as you try to resist it.
Amanda (Annie)
Damn one was a 23. With disadvantage that's a 7.
Nicholas (Alexander)
13.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And unfortunately my friends as the earth beneath you turns very liquid and bubbly and then flies up to the surface, you take 25 damage.
[SFX: Clatter of earth.]
Amanda (Annie)
That ain't nothing but a thang.
Tau
All right, it is the spiders turn. The spiders are going to teleport onto Annie. They're gonna make
Amanda (Annie)
Oh you do (make sunintelligible noises)
Tau
Four attacks. Crit. Two. Crit. Six. So 28.
Amanda (Annie)
Damage?
Tau
Yes.
Amanda (Annie)
Well, that would knock me back to zero, but, Annie's gonna use defiance.
[SFX: The bell tolls.]
Amanda (Annie)
And say, not today, Satan or Hades or whoever you choose to believe in. And is going to regain d8 plus three, which is not a lot.
Michael (Arete)
I'm going to go ahead and use deathshroud to become invisible. You see what you thought was your friend shimmer for a moment and a pop sound and he disappears,
[SFX: POP.]
Michael (Arete)
Arete will go around the back of Annie, and he will then for some sneak attack damage, stab her in the back. 22, does that hit?
Amanda (Annie)
(makes noises) Yes, it hits. Gosh, see.
Michael (Arete)
And 6d6 plus one is a 22.
Amanda (Annie)
Alright, well, more than enough to kill me. Thank you. I'm dead now.
Tau
And then the blood swallows up Annie.
[SFX: A wet splatter.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
Should I just go out on my own terms?
Tau
You should do what you think is best.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Alright, I'm going to swing it Arete. 18.
Michael (Arete)
It does hit, yes.
Nicholas (Alexander)
I want to make it divine smite. That would be 19 damage.
Michael (Arete)
And Arete is going to use uncanny dodge as a reaction. When an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to halve the attack's damage against you.
Tau
Nice.
Michael (Arete)
And then I will attack them again. I'm going to add some my bardic inspiration.
Amanda (Annie)
(deep) Yuh!
Tau
You hear Annie go (deep) "Yuh!"
Nicholas (Alexander)
And now I'm going to use my regular inspiration and reroll. Looks like I didn't land. Right. 13 was my bet. 14. Yeah.
Michael (Arete)
That hits.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Oh that hits. Wow. Divine smite is happening again at level two. Because that's my best. one. 18 plus nine. That's 27.
[SFX: A wet stab.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
I guess he's still standing after that.
Tau
How's Arete looking now?
Michael (Arete)
Dead.
Tau
Okay.
Michael (Arete)
He only had two health left. (laughs)
Tau
This horrible foul mimicry of Annie appears behind you, Alexander.
Amanda (Annie)
No!
Tau
This Annie is going to do everything in her power to try to kill you. And it's her turn right now.
Amanda (Annie)
Annie's gonna cast thunder wave. Alex, you have to make a constitution saving throw.
Nicholas (Alexander)
16?
Amanda (Annie)
Oh, you lucky son of a bitch.
Tau
Hestill takes damage.
Amanda (Annie)
That's true. That's true. That's true. One second.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Fuck magic, man.
Amanda (Annie)
Half of 28.
Tau
So 14 thunder damage.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Ooo. Okay.
Tau
Spiders are up.
Amanda (Annie)
These damn spiders.
Tau
Spiders are gonna hop on Alexander, they're gonna attempt to make some attacks. 21 Three. 21. 10.
Michael (Arete)
(sighs) The 21s ones meet 21 so.
Tau
Okay, so that is 14 total piercing damage.
Michael (Arete)
And then I defy all death.
[SFX: The bell tolls.]
Nicholas (Alexander)
(laughs) I defy all death?
Tau
You return to the plane of the living. You have won the game.
Michael (Arete)
The hands come up with the grab me and I stomp on them. "No! I'm not dead! No!"
Tau
All right. That's all they can do. Alexandra it's your turn.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Rolf hasn't gone.
Tau
Oh, Rolf. Sorry.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Yeah, yeah, I have to die. Hold on.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
Yeah, I'm sorry. Rolf is going to cast a level three witch bolt on you. I believe you have one of my blood crystals lodged in you. So I get plus three with incandescence. And I'm going to use my other blood crystal to also increase that. That's a 32 to hit.
Amanda (Annie)
Good lord.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Well. Yeah, it's gonna hit.
Giancarlo (Rolf)
And you take 16 damage.
Nicholas (Alexander)
Then Alexander stabs himself in the heart before the bolt hits.
Amanda (Annie)
(gasps)
[SFX: Wet shink of blade entering Alex's flesh.]
Tau
Somewhere, not that anybody cares or would notice, a hollow Alexander also rises in his place, but we don't need to deal with that.
[SFX: A splash before going into the credits music.]
ROGUE RUNNERS Volume 1: In the Blood, stars our players Nicholas Benetatos as Alexander the Great, Amanda Facosta as Anastasia Pantazis, Giancarlo Herrera as Rolf Yannik, and Michael Pisani as Arete Laskaris. Dungeon Mastering and NPC voices are by me, Tau Zaman. Cover art by Chandler Candela. Sound design and editing by Giancarlo Herrera. Title music by Sage G.C., with vocals by Jessica Dahlgren and Sage G.C. Character theme music by Giorgio Volpe. Additional music by Epidemic Sound. Transcription by Eli Barraza.
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