Volume 1: In the Blood Ep. 27 - Cassandra, The Prophetess

TRANSCRIPT - In the Blood Ep. 27 - Cassandra, The Prophetess

 

Tau 

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Tau

You’re listening to a parody that is not affiliated with or endorsed by Supergiant Games in any way, we’re just big ol’ nerds making improv fanfiction. 

 

ROGUE RUNNERS is...rated R, for pretty much everything you can find in Greek Mythology: violence, assault, self-harm, offensive language, insensitive humor, and intense themes. We encourage everyone to check out our show notes and transcripts on our website at Whisperforge.org. Are you ready to run? Then welcome to Volume 1: In the Blood.

 

[SFX: Intro music.] 


Tau 

Cassandra lifts her hands up into the air like a little yoga Mountain Pose...

 

[SFX: Ominous music builds.]

 

Tau 

....and you see this constellation of stars appearing in her hand and then she throws it down onto the ground...


[SFX: Shyoom!]

 

Tau 

....and in a wide circle all around you there is just this like starry air, like you just see the lights and constellations floating around and she's at the center of it and there's this like globe of stars in the middle of it...

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Uh oh.

 

Tau 

...that seems to be getting bigger and bigger. Arete it is your turn.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Bringing a sun into it at that that just seems like putting a hat on a hat, Cassandra." Arete is not going to attack but instead going to check on the other Olympiad. So he's going to run over to his star crossed lover.

 

Tau 

Okay, make a medecine check.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Eight.

 

Tau 

You get the sense that he is unconscious.

 

Michael (Arete) 

I am going to disengage and whisper out to the heavens as I lean over my hopefully lover's body and go "Hermes aid my AC!" and his air conditioner rises by five.

 

[SFX: Boon chime.]

 

Players 

(laugh)

 

Tau 

It's Alexander's turn.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Alexander will use holy bulwark to bolster his AC plus four...

 

[SFX: The ding of metal.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

...and then as a bonus action you shield the faith for another plus two to AC.

 

[SFX: A shhhhink of power.]

 

Tau 

Everybody's just just shield it up, all right, okay. (chuckles)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(serious) "We need not battle here. Please see reason," and Rolf is going to dash over to Palestrae and try and do a medicine check to see if he can wake her up.

 

Tau 

Okay, make a medicine check

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

21.

 

Tau 

Okay, you get the sense that Palestrae is not unconscious but also there is like a magical effect that is like keeping her unconscious. Like for example even if you were to like restore hitpoints to her she wouldn't like spring back to her feet. Like this is like this is Athene- this is a Athena's wrath that has essentially just smote them.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Cassandra, you need not do this. None of us will gain anything from quarrel here."

 

Tau 

Make a persuasion check with disadvantage.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Eight.

 

Tau 

She scoffs at you and says (grand, echoing voice) "You servants of the gods are so twisted and manipulative. I will never believe a word that comes out of your mouths." Annie, it is your turn.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Miss Cassandra ma'am, we're not necessarily trying to help the gods, we're just trying to survive and get out of here, you know? Probably just like you, right?" And Annie's kind of like hiding behind Alex in a way as she's talking. Annie would like to be near Alex for this.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

So you're behind my horse's ass I guess?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(fart noise)

 

Amanda (Annie) 

A little bit, just a little bit.

 

Tau 

Okay, make a persuasion check with disadvantage.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Dang, 15.

 

Tau 

"I have already foreseen what you will try to bring about here. I will never trust you."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Oh, well. In that case, Annie is going to disengage as a bonus action just to boost that AC.

 

[SFX: The woosh of AC rising.]

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Thank you!

 

Tau 

Alright, it is now Cassandra's turn, she says "I will not suffer liars in my presence." And then her eyes turned purple and she levitates and she unleashes this awful scream and this scream is not a scream that hurts you in your ears. It is a scream that hurts you in your mind.

 

[SFX: A scream, terrible in all its layers PIERCES the air.]

 

Players 

(gasp)

 

Tau 

Everybody everybody's making intelligent saving throw.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Oh no!

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Who's next to me?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

I am! I'm next to Alex.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Plus four to you.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(gasp) Thank goodness.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(sarcastic) Great!

 

Tau 

Who rolled above a 17?

 

Michael (Arete) 

I did.

 

Tau 

So you're only gonna take half the damage. So first off everybody who fails takes 84 psychic damage.

 

Players 

(sounds of shock and surprised laughter)

 

Tau 

You're also stunned.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yes I am.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

My MIND is on FIRE!

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Does my horse have to make a throw?

 

Tau 

Bucephalus is affected because if you look at the spell find steed, if your steed has an intelligence of five or less, its intelligence becomes six and it gains the ability to understand what language of your choice that you speak. So you summoned an intelligent steed.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(dramatic sigh) Dammit, Alex!.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

We're hearing the scream in our brains and see that Bucephalus is about to kick the bucket. Rolf just looks him dead in the eye and goes, "Existence is pain, Bucephalus."

 

Tau & Players 

(laugh)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

So it would be a minus three?

 

Tau 

Yeah, so I guess you have to roll exactly a 20 to save.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yeah, I got a 18.

 

Tau 

So he fails. So he takes 84 psychic damage.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

So, uh, (wheezing laugh) he vanishes.

 

Tau 

Oh wait, what about, what about what about your plus four?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Whose plus four?

 

Tau 

Don't you add plus four to Bucephalus?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Oh, so he only takes half damage?

 

Tau 

Yeah, so, he only takes half damage. So.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Oh, well he still disappears (laughs).

  

[SFX: Bloody SPLATTER.]

 

Tau 

 Here's where it gets really freaky. So Palestrae, Pandaie, and Adonis's heads explode.

 

[SFX: Bloody SPLATTER!]

 

Players 

(gasp!)

 

Tau 

(laughs) That's literally the description.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Nooo!

 

Tau 

If a target is killed by this damage, its head explodes assuming it has a head.

 

Players 

(sounds of shock)

 

Tau 

So their heads explode, they are immediately drawn into the blood. Yes?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Is the 84 including minus three from Athena?

 

Tau 

Yes. Oh no, it is not including minus three. So...

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(triumphant laugh)

 

Tau 

...you take 81 if you fail.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Haha!

 

Tau 

Okay, so people who succeed only take 42 psychic damage. Also it is very clear that she front loaded this, like this is her most powerful thing so it doesn't it doesn't seem like she's gonna be doing this every turn.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(relieved laugh)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Okay, thank god.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

How long are we stunned for?

 

Tau 

A stunned target can make an intelligence saving throw at the end of each of its turns. On a successful save, the stunning effect ends. So what that means is that this can go on infinitely if you can't save. Now it is... Arete's turn. Um, the sun gets a little bit bigger.

 

[SFX: Ethereal tone vibrates.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, so Arete having just watched Adonis's head explode, melt into the grass. Arete kind of like grasps the blades of grass in his hands and pulls it out of the ground and just weeps a bit. (weeps)

 

Tau 

(laughing) You're just covered in Adonis's blood.

 

Michael (Arete) 

And then, Arete will go over to Rolf and move him closer...

 

[SFX: Scrape of moving Rolf.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

...to Alexander so that way he will get a bonus for his saving throws.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Nah, I don't think he will.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay, so you're planning on moving away from our two incapacitated teammates? Great.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I-I gotta try something.

 

Tau 

Okay. At the end of your turn, Cassandra waves a fan of cards in front of her...

 

[SFX: The flick of card against card as a sparkling tone of magic sounds.]

 

Tau 

...and they spin around her and she draws five cards.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Ah, the Five of Fuck You. Roll tries a thank you and goes (unintelligible) "Tha-tha-tha-tha."

 

Tau & Players 

(laugh)

 

Tau 

Alright, Alexander, it is your turn. Also, I don't know how much this matters, she doesn't look nearly as like beefy as Pelops.

 

Tau & Players 

Uh huh.

 

Tau 

She's just a woman in robes.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Hey, what are you trying to say about women in robes?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

She's just a woman in robes.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Yeah!

 

Tau 

(sly) Maybe what I'm saying is that looks can be deceiving.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I'm gonna charge at Cassandra and try to attack her.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Tau 

(mock urgency) No!

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Does a 14 land?

 

Tau 

So you think that it would and then what ends up happening is that one of the cards moves in the way and you slash through it and you see a nine on the card...

 

[SFX: Cards shuffle and a chime sounds.]

 

Tau 

...as if your result was changed to a nine. And that card is gone.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Ohhhh.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Interesting.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

All right. I attack again, it's a 10.

 

Tau 

Okay, a 10 does not hit so it just misses.

 

[SFX: The sword WHIFFS it.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Damn. And then one more attack from Daedelus.

 

Tau 

Nice.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

23.

 

Tau 

Okay, so again, you are moving into strike. You stab in at her and you stabbed through a card instead that another nine appears on as if your result was changed to it.

 

[SFX: Cards flip and the chime sounds.]

 

Tau 

Does that conclude your turn?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

That will be it, yeah.

 

Tau 

Okay, Rolf, it is your turn.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I guess I'll roll a save to see if I can become unstunned. That's a natural 20 for a total of 23.

 

Tau 

Excellent. Yeah. So you save, you are no longer stunned.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie's also going to roll, just trying to save. That's a six!

 

Tau 

You remain stunned and this there's just these like awful, futuristic visions burning through your mind. And you get the sense that like, maybe this is like what Cassandra sees all the time.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

And Annie's just like smacking at her head.

 

Tau 

It is Cassandra's turn, she is going to look at you, Alexander. You see these lights glowing where her eye sockets would be behind her blindfold.

 

[SFX: A tone grows and grows, undulating painfully.]

 

Tau 

And then she pulls off the blindfold and you see these green laser beams shoot out of it straight at you into your mind.

 

[SFX: The lazers BURST out, like a zing of electricity.]

 

Tau 

Make an intelligence saving throw.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Oh, critical fail.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(sighs)

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

We going home. (singing) I'm going home.

 

Tau 

This is a spell called feeble mind. You blast the mind of a creature that you can see within range attempting to shatter its intellect and personality.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Oh, I should've used my inspiration.

 

Tau 

Use your inspiration.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

To try and save it?

 

Tau 

Yeah, this would be the time.

 

[SFX: Inspiration DING.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

A dirty 20?

 

Tau 

Okay, what's your intelligence modifier?

 

Nicholas (Alexander)  

It's plus six.

 

Tau 

Okay, well then you save and are fine. So she draws two more cards to join the five...

 

[SFX: Chime and shuffle of cards.]

 

Tau 

... spinning around her. Then you see the star getting a little bit bigger.

 

[SFX: That ethereal undulation.]

 

Tau 

Okay, all right. Arete, it is your turn.

 

Michael (Arete) 

I still don't think violence is the right way to go here. But I don't know what to do. Because my character is geared towards violence.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"(with effort) Arete. Arete."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"What, Annie?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Bobby di bip."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"You're you're right Annie, I understand exactly what you're saying." And Arete turns around and faces Cassandra and it goes "This is a little lullaby my mother would sing to- or adoptive mother would sing to me. (singing) Baby mine. Don't you cry."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"(unintelligibe noises)"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Baby mine, dry your eyes."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"(makes noises and cries)"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"You're so strong, look at yourself. I'm making up words on the spot."

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(crying) "Arete...stooo."

 

Tau 

Is that your turn?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(laughs)

 

Michael (Arete) 

That is my action to try to soothe Cassandra's tormented soul with a song.

 

Tau 

Okay, make a performance check with disadvantage.

 

Michael (Arete) 

With disadvantages is a six.

 

Tau 

Is that your turn?

 

Michael (Arete) 

As my bonus action, I will disengage. I would like put my hands up and go "I-I'm not trying to fight you here."

 

Tau 

Alexander. It's your turn.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I'm gonna cast... aura of vitality.

 

Tau 

Oh, what level is that?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

That's a third level.

 

Tau 

Okay. Cassandra lifts her hand and she waves it and the spell is counterspelled.

 

[SFX: A magical tone followed by the sound of cards on cards.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

And there's my bonus action, I dash her again?

  

[SFX: The wave WOOSHES.]

 

Tau 

Make an attack roll but don't roll damage.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I got a dirty 20.

 

Tau 

One of the cards shatters...

 

[SFX: Chime followed by shuffling cards.]

 

Tau 

...another one that has a nine on it and your wave just rides past her.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf begins waking up from his stupor and he says "Cassandra, you have foreseen violence? I can grant it to you but we need not see--"

 

Tau 

"I woke up and chose violence."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(whisper) Damn it.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Hehehehe.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"We need not see this through to its conclusion!" And he is going to infuse a blood crystal as he casts Firebolt upon her and expend two sorcery points to do it as a bonus action.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

So with the blood crystal, that is a 31 to hit.

 

Tau 

Yeah, that does hit because yeah, she's out of good rolls there.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

And then he's going to say "Ares, empower this strike."

 

[SFX: The Ares boon boom chimes.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

And that is 30 fire damage...

 

[SFX: FWOOM.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

...as well as one hangover.

 

Tau 

Sorry. So when that goes off the star that she's concentrating on explodes...

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Aw shit.

 

[SFX: EXPLOSION followed by undulating tones.]

 

Tau 

...so you see, like all of these galaxies and cool shit all around. So as the sun explodes, everybody takes 58 radiant damage.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Mmm.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

You hear a glass thing break as the Hephaestus auto injector goes off on Rolf.

 

Tau 

Nice.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

He comes back with 40 HP, invisible, and gets to take a second turn.

 

Tau 

Yeah.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Immediately.

 

Tau 

Yeah. That's right.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete, using his tactics of evasion that he has studied as a grave marker many a year, only takes half damage even when I fail with the dex saving throw.

 

Tau 

Nice.

 

Michael (Arete) 

So he will instead take 27.

 

Tau 

So Rolf, what HP are you at now? And Annie, what HP are you at now?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

40.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah, Annie is also at 40.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

With that you see, well you don't see. But Rolf is summoning a second blood crystal and he is going to cast polymorph...

 

Tau 

Nice.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

... on Cassandra.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

And I'm going to turn her into a butterfly.

 

Tau 

Okay, what's the save DC?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

A 24 wisdom save or higher.

 

Tau 

Okay, so immediately one of the cards flips over...

 

[SFX: Card shuffle and chime.]

 

Tau 

...it has a 20 on it and then that shatters and she is fine.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I'm going to expend two more sorcery points now that it is my turn again. And I'm going to cast Melf's minute meteors at level three.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I'm going to pick up my blood crystal that I'm assuming bounced off that card.

 

Tau 

Yeah.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

With searing return and then she needs to make a dexterity saving throw as I hurl two meteors at her.

 

[SFX: FWOOMF.]

 

Tau 

What's the save DC on that?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

That is a 22.

 

Tau 

Another card comes to her it flips over it has a 19 on it...

 

[SFX: Card shuffle and chime.]

 

Tau 

...It shatters and she saves. So how much damage does she take on a save?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Eight fire damage as one explodes and then she should roll a second save as the second one flies towards her.

 

Tau 

Okay, she does not save versus that so she takes the full amount here.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

She's going to take 25 damage...

 

[SFX: A fiery FWOOMF!]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

...as well as another stack of hangover...

 

[SFX: An echoey bottle pops.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

...as this meteor crashes into her. I'm going to go ahead and as that bonus action and cast firebolt.

 

Tau 

Which is basically a meteor at this point.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

A 24 to hit.

 

Tau 

One of the cards shatters...

 

[SFX: Card shuffle and chime.]

 

Tau 

...it has a two on it and she is fine, that misses. So she has one card left.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie would like to cast mass cure wounds on her Olympiad.

 

[SFX: The viol plucks low notes.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Woah.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

24, all four of us.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Wow.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

God bless.

 

Tau 

A card comes up...

 

[SFX: Card shuffle and chime.]

 

Tau 

...it shatters, it has a three on it...

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(disappointed) Oh.

 

Tau 

Everybody heals for three.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Wha?

 

Tau 

All her cards are gone. It is Cassandra's turn, she is going to cast a spell on herself and an immobile faintly shimmering barrier springs into existence...

  

[SFX: A shimmering tone emanates as cards swirl and scrape around her.]

 

Tau 

... in a 10 foot radius around her and remains for the duration. Arete it is your turn.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Arete draws La Voix...


[SFX: The sword scrapes against its scabbard.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

... and places it on the ground stands between Annie and...

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(gasp)

 

Michael (Arete) 

... Cassandra and goes "Hey, take it I'm right here."

 

Tau 

You can also like make an rcana check to see what the globe does.

 

Michael (Arete) 

That's a nine so probably not much.

 

Tau 

Okay. So that does not pick up on what the glove does. Okay, so at the end of your turn Arete, she is going to send a sleeve of cards at you so a whole bunch of cards just fire at you rapid fire. Does a 27 hit?

 

Michael (Arete) 

Yes.

 

Tau 

You take 20 slashing damage as these cards fly through you.

 

 

[SX: The cards WOOSH through the air, penetraing Arete.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

"(cries out in pain)"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Arete!" And that's gonna swing at Cassandra

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

11.

 

Tau 

That does not hit.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

He'll try again.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

A natural 20.

 

Tau 

That's a critical so that definitely hits.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Woo!

 

Tau 

This would be the time to smite.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(smiling) Yeah, I'm gonna do that.

 

Tau 

(chuckling) Okay.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(singing) Let th-- (gasps) three ones??? (sighing) Oh my god.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(gasp)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(sighs) I got 28 with everything so doubling that is 56.

 

[SFX: The blade whips through the air, landing with a bloody thump.]

 

Tau 

Does that conclude your turn Alexander?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

No, I use Daedalus for one more attack.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

It is a 19.

 

Tau 

That does hit.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Okay, he's gonna divine smite this one too, 30 damage

 

 

[FX: A wet, bloody strike.]

 

Tau 

She's looking pretty bad

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Halfway bad?

 

Tau 

More than halfway bad.

 

Players 

(gasp in delight)

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Bonus action the dash, get the AC just in case.

  

[SFX: Wave WOOSHES.]

 

Tau 

All right, where are you dashing?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Into her.

 

Tau 

Okay, so make an attack roll.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

23.

 

Tau 

Yeah, she's she's shoved back 10 feet and takes a damage. So she puts her blindfold back on. And then she holds her finger to her forehead and she kind of whips her hand out from her forehead and you see this lash glass of psychic energy just fly out...

 

[SFX: It BURSTS out, like glass SHATTERING from a projectile.]

 

Tau 

...and when it hits the ground, it explodes like a firecracker.

 

[SFX: POW!]

 

Tau 

Everybody needs to make a... an intelligent saving throw.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Eight.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

17.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Six.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

10.

 

Tau 

So who got a 17?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie did.

 

Tau 

Okay, so you only take half of this.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Ohoho.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Shit.

 

Tau 

Everybody who fails takes 25 psychic damage. Everybody who succeeds takes 12 psychic damage. After a failed save, the target has muddled thoughts for one minute, during that time it rolls a d6 and subtracts that number rolled from all of the attack rolls and ability checks as well as constitution saving throws to maintain concentration.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(sighs, big oof)

 

Tau 

The target can make an intelligence saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. Rolf it is your turn.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Is that barrier still around her?

 

Tau 

It is.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I would like to roll arcana as I begin hurling the meteors at her.

 

Tau 

Okay, so make your arcana check.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

That is, t-- god dammit, it's 12.

 

Tau 

With a 12, you are not able to totally figure out what it does. You know that it is a globe that protects her from something.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

All right, I'm gonna use my last fourth level spell slot to try and cast polymorph one more time.

 

Tau 

Okay. You cast polymorph and nothing happens.

 

[SFX: Trumpet sounding bwa wa waaaa.]

 

Tau 

But now you do see that the globe is definitely what stopped that. Okay, Annie, it is your turn.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie is gonna cast Bardic inspiration...

 

[SFX: The viol plays some jaunty notes.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

...and give that to Alexander.

 

Tau 

Cassandra is, on her turn, going to summon five cards to spin around her.

  

[SFX: A tone pulsates as the cards whip around her.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

(sarcastic) Heyyy. Welcome back. We missed you

 

Tau 

Arete, it is your turn.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Arete. Please! Clear the cards. I need to see him."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Awww. Arete."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I'm sorry, Alexander. I can't do it. I won't do it."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"If you cannot strike your enemy, I do not see you faring well in our plan to destroy the entirety of the Underworld."

 

Tau 

Do you say that out loud?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yep.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah, does Cassandra react to that?

 

Tau 

She has like a knit brow under her blindfold. But she doesn't say anything immediately to that.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Are you being compelled to do this, Cassandra? Because if you're enemies of the gods, then and I mean, yeah, we're, yeah, we've had, we've picked up some boons. But we've been doing a lot of self discovery lately, and I'm not so sure I want to pick up any more boons, personally."

 

Tau 

"I have nothing to say to a servant of Apollo," make an intelligent saving throw, Arete.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I would like to say 'ex-servant',"and then I will make the intelligence check.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Michael (Arete) 

17.

 

Tau 

Okay. So you take nine psychic damage.

  

[SFX: Again, the burst of psychic energy, like glass shattered by a projectile.]

 

Tau 

You can't take a reaction until the end of your next turn.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay.

 

Tau 

Moreover, on your next turn, you must choose whether you move, take an action, or a bonus action. You only get one of the three.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Okay.

 

Tau 

So this is as she rebukes you and you feel that you have been like whipped, but like in your mind, it's like a mind whip...

 

Michael (Arete) 

Mmmm.

 

Tau 

...as she retorts. With that, Alexander it is your turn.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yeah, I'm just gonna strike at her.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

So I get an 18.

 

Tau 

One of the cards appears...

 

[SFX: Chime and shuffle.]

 

Tau 

...and it turns into a five as the card shatters.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Next one is a seven.

 

Tau 

That does not hit.

 

[SFX: The sword WHIFFS it.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

And now with Daedalus' help. A 13 would land, right?

 

Tau 

A 13 would land. A card shatters as a four appears on it...

 

[SFX: Chime and shuffle.]

 

Tau 

...and that attack misses.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yeah, and then I will dash into her.

  

[SFX: The wave wooshes.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

A nine.

 

Tau 

That does not hit.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I'm going to cast firebolt upon her with a blood crystal.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

That is a natural 20.

 

Tau 

You fire it at the globe and nothing happens.

 

[SFX: The fwoomf of the firebolt disperses.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Okay, I'm going to expend two sorcery points for that to be the bonus action because I was going to do it twice. But then instead of doing that, I'm going to run up to her and fire a bolt at her.

 

Tau 

Of what?

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

My crossbow.

 

Tau 

Oh, got it. Okay, I didn't know. Okay. You said you cast firebolt and then you're firing a bolt.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Yeah.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Firing A Bolt.

 

Tau 

(laughing) So I hope you can understand my confusion.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

14.

 

[SFX: The bolt slices through the air but misses.]

 

Tau 

It shoots into a card which has a one on it and it shatters.

 

[SFX: Chime and shuffle.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I do another cartwheel and I say "(silly noise)"

 

Tau 

Okay, Annie it's your turn.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Thank you so much. Annie would like to cast song of apathy, which forces Cassandra to have to make a wisdom saving throw.

 

[SFX: The dice clatters.]

 

Tau 

What is the DC?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

A 16.

 

Tau 

Another card shatters that has a 14 on it.

 

[SFX: Chime and shuffle.]

 

Tau 

And she saves.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Damn, that was my only song of apathy and I really was excited to use it and now I can't use it so I--"

 

Tau 

"Oh, poor girl. Do the fates frustrate you?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Hey now, we've both been wronged and duped by Apollo. And I'm not trying to downplay what you've been going through, because that is just as sucky so I am extremely sorry."

 

Tau 

(mocking Annie) "Oh you've been so wronged by Apollo, you will carry out the whims of all Olympus."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Hey, now not true. Hey, now Hey, now. (overlapping with following line) This is NOT what dreams are made of."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(growing more upset) "No, it is NOT what dreams are made of, this is NOT what dreams are made of."

 

Tau 

This is what dreams are made of.

 

Tau 

At end of your turn, she fires a sleeve of cards at you that slash away at you.

 

[SFX: The cards woosh forward.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"No!"

 

Tau 

Her fifth card shatters...

 

[SFX: Chime and shuffle.]

 

Tau 

...it has a 14 on it. Does a 23 hit you?

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah, it hits.

 

Tau 

Okay. You take 20 slashing damage. So now it is Cassandra's turn, I have to roll concentration.

  

[SFX: The dice rolls.]

 

Tau 

I have to get at least a ten. Ooh. Okay. She gets a seven. She has no cards. So the globe drops.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(gasps)

 

Tau  

She is going to draw five cards again.

 

[SFX: Cards shuffle.]

 

Tau 

Four of them gather up and then she just swipes her hand through them. And those four cards explode...

 

[SFX: Small explosion.]

 

Tau 

...and she is just glowing with energy.

 

[SFX: That magical tone emanates from her.]

 

Tau 

So what is actually happening is that she is trading in the value of those rolls to get spell slots back.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Ohhh.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

I see.

 

Tau 

And you suspect that she is brimming with enough power like you saw when she first like absolutely merkt Ajax.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Mm hmm.

 

Tau 

So she still has one card spinning around her and she is fully ready to fuck shit up again. So... Arete, it is your turn.

 

Michael (Arete) 

(desperate) "I didn't try hard enough with Pelops but I won't stop trying for you," and Arete runs over and gives Cassandra a hug.

  

[SFX: A soft thump as his arms wrap around the woman in robes.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(indignant) To grapple her at least???

 

Players 

(laugh)

 

Tau 

You get inspiration...

 

[SFX: DING.]

 

Tau 

...but does that conclude your turn?

 

Michael (Arete) 

Yes.

 

Tau 

She casts a spell and 10 cards fly around her.

 

[SFX: Cards whip by each other, a sparkling magic surrounds her.]

 

Tau 

They're kind of like the cards that she was using to attack but there are 10 of them and they will hurt a lot. Alexander it's your turn.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Does a 25 land?

 

Tau 

Her last of her five cards shatters...

 

[SFX: Chime and shuffle.]

 

Tau 

...and replaces that roll with a seven.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

He attacks again... a 16 will land, correct?

 

Tau 

That does hit.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

And that's 41 damage.

 

[SFX: Alexander's sword SLASHES, landing his blow.]

 

Tau 

A single damage point might kill her off but...

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Okay, I have one more attack.

 

Tau 

Okay.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Daedelus...

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(on the edge of her seat) Oh my gosh.

 

Tau 

Once you strike her, the 10 cards crash down.

 

[SFX: The cards all flutter, bumping against each other as they fall.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"Iris!"

 

[SFX: Glimmering chime of Iris' boon.]

 

Tau 

That makes your AC functionally 30?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

30.

 

Tau 

None of these can hit on a 30. So you see these 10 cards go BAM BAM BAM BAM!

 

[SFX: The chime sounds as the cards WHIP OUT,  SPRAYING towards Alex, magic CRACKLING.]

 

Tau 

And there's bolts of rainbow light just goin' everywhere and none of them hit you.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I have another attack.

 

Tau 

All right, go for it.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

That's a dirty 20.

 

Tau 

Alexander, finish her.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Alexander is going to swing counterclockwise chop at Cassandra's head.

 

[SFX: The sword lands with a bloody THUNK.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

He buries the sword into her neck but it doesn't finish the cut so he spins back the other way in reverse...

 

[SFX: He WHIPS around.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

...to behead Cassandra and takes out his jar.

 

Tau 

What's your spell save DC?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

16.

 

Tau 

She does not go in the jar.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Okay. Then I cut her head off.

 

Tau 

What is your alignment right now?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

True neutral.

 

Tau 

Okay, your alignment is now lawful evil. The jar feels hot in your hand. Just before you chop her head off, she says (softly) "How is this possible? Am I finally free of the cur--" and then you cut, cut her head off.

 

[SFX: A bloody slice and a wet thump.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"That's right, lady luck. You're free."

 

Tau 

And now it's like a veil is lifted and you see like the hundreds of shades all around you clapping, cheering, you see confetti falling.

 

[SFX: The crowd fades in, a MASSIVE group of shades in celebration.]

 

Tau 

You see Koalemos like float down like on a harness, and he goes "It looks like we have a new Olympiad in the UFC!"

 

 [SFX: The crowd grows louder.]

 

Tau 

Everyone uproariously cheers.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(muttering) "Couldn't give us any boons people?"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(laughs)

 

Tau 

You get a nectar.

 

[SFX: A glimmering chime.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Aww.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Sweet.

 

Tau 

You have every boon there is. And for the first time you see all those like woven banners like all around and they actually show your faces on them.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Whoa."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

"I don't understand why Arete's is there?"

 

Tau 

Yeah? That, that's a fair point, but it is. (chuckles)

 

Michael (Arete)  

"Oh my, I completely agree. I don't want to be there."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Arete."

 

[SFX: An echoing tone fades in, unsettling.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

(agitated) "The fact that this was all like a game for you people, a game for you people? This woman was DEEPLY suffering."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"You make a fair point, but it seems our interests have fallen out of alignment. Is this going to be an issue?"

 

Tau 

Speaking of alignment...

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Very well might be."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

While Arete's yelling back at the crowd, Alexander will come behind him and stab Arete.

 

Michael (Arete) 

(gasps)

 

Amanda (Annie) 

WHAT.

 

Michael (Arete) 

(softly) Okay.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Ohohoho.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

A 24 would land right?

 

Michael (Arete) 

Absolutely, yeah.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I'm sure you're dead but... 36... would kill him, right?

 

Michael (Arete) 

Yeah.

 

[SFX: A bloody shhhlick of the blade going in. Hollow glass noise as a jar opens.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Alexander just takes out the jar and tries to stuff Arete in it.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Okay, Rolf cast level five witch bolt on Alex.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

And Annie casts cure wounds on Arete.

 

Michael (Arete) 

Do I need to roll for the jar, Tau?

 

Tau 

It's not gonna happen because you're being healed at the exact same time.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

That's a 21.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Rolf gets a 33 on his witch bolt.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yeah, that hits.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(soberly accepting) Okay. That's 39 damage.

 

[SFX: The FWOOMF of the spell.]

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

Does that kill you?

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

It does not kill me, no.

 

Tau 

Alexander, you do notice that another gate appears at the end of the colosseum and you have a strong sense that the person you're looking for is there.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

As the lightning comes down on Alexander, you see Rolf has his jar in hand.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Well, I'm not dead. But.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

He begins to charge up a second spell and he looks at you and he says, (intensely) "Try to hurt the Olympiad again, and I WILL deliver you to her myself."

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

(urgently) I dash at the gate.

 

[SFX: WOOSH.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

I slam the thing.

 

[SFX: The gentle tinkle of glass breaking.]

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

And I go inside.

 

Tau 

It has the skull and crossbones on it.

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Yeah.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(raging after Alex) "We are a TEAM! YOU GOD DAMN NUMSKULL. WE'RE ALL WE HAVE!"

 

Nicholas (Alexander) 

Ignoring this, I go in.

 

[SFX: Portal SWOOSH.]

 

Tau 

Alexander is in the gate.

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Annie's gonna go to Arete--

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Arete, are you all right?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

Yeah, and just ask that question.

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I appreciate both of you. I'm actually one point healthier than I was before the whole ordeal. So yeah, I'm doing pretty good. Thanks."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"Do we need to kill him?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Oh, no."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"Nooo."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"No, no, that's not the answer, either."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I don't want anybody to die anymore. I'm so over it."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Okay, timeout timeout."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(still fuming) "You deserve to be in that jar as much as he does. But if he's going to SABOTAGE our attempts for no reason whatsoever, then we need to deal with it."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(placating) "Okay. Alex is obviously not in the right headspace. I know that's not an excuse."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"He wants to see the most important person in his life."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"He CHOSE his fate."

 

Amanda (Annie) 

(calming) "Okay. Okay."

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

(still not calm) "He does not get to decide ours for us!"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Arete, I understand what you're choosing here, to not engage. And I can respect that, especially with someone like Cassandra. It was very brave of you. But I can't believe I'm the person saying this, but we've come really far..."

 

Michael (Arete) 

"We're probably not going to make it out of here. Not to bring down the mood, I kept trying. But you know, there comes a certain point when you've been toyed with so many times that, yeah, I think I agree with the other Olympiad. Just let the chaos flow. Why not?"

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"You're okay with chaos flowing, you're just not okay with you, the one kind of bringing it on? Correct?"

 

Michael (Arete) 

"I've brought enough chaos to people's lives."

 

Tau 

(amused) You have no idea how true that statement is.

 

Giancarlo (Rolf) 

"I do not care what you've done to the others. Once upon a time I might have. The only people here that matter to me are this Olympiad. You took Annie's life from her. What matters is atoning. You let her get out of there, and you give her a chance to live the life she should have. You ought to punish yourself after that, that's fine. But your actions are no longer your own. They are all of ours. Same goes for Alex. If it is what needs to be done. I'll kill him. I'll kill you. I'll kill myself. I will kill anyone who gets in our way. If we know that all there is is battle then just fucking do it and do it well! Embrace it. How much longer can we live in pity for ourselves? What does it get you? Pain, suffering, more? No! TURN IT BACK ON THEM! Take control. I'm sick of this." And he goes through the portal.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Michael (Arete) 

"(sighs) My friend. I'm not sure that that's how we actually do take back control," Arete sighs and picks up La Loix where he had placed it on the ground, brushes it off, sheaths his weapon and goes through the portal.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh.]

 

Amanda (Annie) 

"Aw, geez," with nothing left, Annie will go through... the portal.

 

[SFX: Portal swoosh. Followed by Outro music.]

 

ROGUE RUNNERS Volume 1: In the Blood, stars our players Nicholas Benetatos as Alexander the Great, Amanda Facosta as Anastasia Pantazis, Giancarlo Herrera as Rolf Yannik, and Michael Pisani as Arete Laskaris. Dungeon Mastering and NPC voices are by me, Tau Zaman. Cover art by Chandler Candela. Audio editing by Roshan Singh Sambhi. Sound design and editing by Giancarlo Herrera. Title music by Sage G.C., with vocals by Jessica Dahlgren and Sage G.C. Character theme music by Giorgio Volpe. Additional music by Epidemic Sound. Transcription by Eli Barraza.

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